Haven of Shadows (Beasts of Barbeaux Bayou #2)

Chapter 1

Runaway

Tara

It took three attempts to pry the little white pill from its package. My hands were shaking too much, struggling to hold my saving grace. It slipped from my grasp, skittering in a wide circle around the porcelain.

“Shit!” I scrambled to catch it before it hit the drain. “No, please no!”

My palm clapped over it. The pill shattered. I gathered the shards with my fingernail, dropping each one into my mouth and swallowing dryly. Desperation almost led me to lick the sink, just in case I missed some. In case it wouldn’t be effective.

Effective. It was such a clinical word. It was sick, how detached I was from this.

More like dissociated, I reminded myself.

Until tonight I wasn’t sure I believed in this—preventing a pregnancy after the fact. If it was meant to be, let it be. Don’t interfere with fate. Or God, or whoever was dealing the cards.

I wasn’t actually pregnant. Logically, I knew that. I was too close to my period to be fertile. Still, the morning after pill was worth the cash meant for my getaway fund. The last thing I needed was to be permanently tied to that asshole by a baby.

I swallowed down bile, hurrying back into the bedroom.

The zipper on the suitcase felt too loud, and I started filling it with frantic, jerky motions.

The chances of him walking in on me were astronomically low.

By this time of night, Jay would retreat to his office, probably sleeping on the couch unless he was taking one of his many mysterious phone calls.

Huge red flags that should have made me hit the brakes six months ago, when this disaster of a relationship started.

I always chalked it up to his weird discomfort with affection. Everyone had their quirks and I figured with time I could work my way into his bubble. That was the very first mistake I made, the one that landed me here.

I wanted to see the best in him. I layered that ideal version over the real him. Blinded myself to what he actually was.

Even now, my brain was coming to his defense, reminding me that he wasn’t this bad in the beginning.

“Not so bad” wasn’t the same as good.

At best, I felt used. At worst? Violated. The guy either had some freaky breeding kink he never told me about or this whole time I was a means to an end. The incubator for his heir.

Heir! What kind of person even used that archaic freaking word?

A shudder ran down my spine. How could I care about someone enough to move into his home, only to find myself revolted at the thought of him? I couldn’t reconcile it.

I was one of those women now.

Shame followed that thought. Never, ever blame the victim. But also don’t be the victim. I wouldn’t be the woman that stayed.

Men like Jay were clever. They found little ways to trap you. Wove a web around you that was so intricate you didn’t realize you were stuck until you couldn’t move an inch without feeling it tug you back.

Tonight, I would take out my sewing scissors and cut myself free.

I was done.

Forget this house, forget the expensive clothes Jay bought for me, forget all of it. What didn’t fit in this suitcase was dead to me. I’d been down this road before—alone in the world with nothing but a bag of my most treasured possessions—and I survived.

Besides, I’d already sold more than half of the clothes, shoes, and handbags right under Jay’s nose. Take that, asshole.

That ever-present voice in my head tried to soothe me. At least he doesn’t hit you. Look at this house. Look at these expensive things. Other women would trade anything to be in your place.

Other women didn’t know the real Jay. I was starting to think that maybe I didn’t either.

Scratch that. I definitely didn’t. There was more under the surface, darkness lurking that I pretended I couldn’t see. And these expensive things? In my heart of hearts, I knew what kind of money paid for them. Not the kind earned by an honest businessman.

Jay wasn’t in his office when I tiptoed from the bedroom to check.

Knowing that the sound of the suitcase wheels rolling across the marble floors would alert him, I’d been prepared to lug the heavy thing out to the garage.

I had to double-check his whereabouts, or else all my plans would fall apart.

I didn’t expect him to flip out and start throwing stuff—or worse—if he caught me leaving, but there was no real certainty with Jay.

He had a temper, that was for damn sure. He’d never raised more than his voice. Somehow, that didn’t make me feel safer. This gut feeling told me I was always skirting some edge with him, millimeters away from tumbling into an unknown I didn’t want to experience.

So, I snuck down the hall to his office and found the door ajar. The lights were off and Jay wasn’t there. Even stranger, his shirt and pants were on the floor.

I checked the shower in the guest room next, assuming he wanted to clean up after…after. Wanted privacy. Space. He wanted so much space the man could be a moon.

The real moon was full tonight, beams of white-gold light breaking through the sheer curtains in the guest room. The stars were a stark contrast to the black of night, celestial diamonds spilling out over the horizon.

I would miss the view of those stars from the back porch more than I would ever miss Jay.

Somehow, I knew that was where I would find him. Sitting on the back porch, whiskey in hand. He didn’t like to be outside. Didn’t care for stargazing or feeling his feet in the grass. He grew up poor—it was the most I knew about his history—and the outdoors reminded him of that.

And yet, there was this invisible thread that drew him out in a way he never seemed to enjoy. Those days when he resisted it were the days I worried he might escalate into violence. Tension coiled so tightly I could see it in his muscles, feel it like an electric crackle in the air around him.

Only when he stepped outside, into the soothing balm of night, would that energy discharge.

It was an opportunity. I should take it. Leaving Jay was hard enough without confronting him. If I did, he would either find a way to gaslight me into believing his behavior wasn’t that bad or…I didn’t know. Maybe this would be what finally turned him into the man I was afraid he could become.

I only made it a few steps before turning back. After giving him half a year of my life, it seemed wrong to end things this abruptly. Almost dishonest, really.

Don’t give in now, Tara. What he did was a betrayal. He didn’t deserve an explanation. If he couldn’t figure out what he did wrong, then I pitied the next woman he charmed into this luxurious prison.

Still, my feet didn’t budge.

One more look.

I needed one last look at the man I thought was my future. A reminder of why I was going my own way.

The kitchen was empty and dark as I crept through to the back door. It opened with the softest squeak of hinges and I held my breath, waiting to hear the shifting of fabric as Jay rose to shoo me away. He never did like me interrupting his time out here.

But I didn’t hear fabric because there was none. Down the hill and half-hidden in the long shadow of an oak tree, Jay stood naked in the moonlight. Sweat glistened down the carved muscles of his shoulders. He hunched forward, spitting curses in a guttural voice.

What the hell was I witnessing? Was he injured? Or maybe on drugs? Given his business associations, I knew he had access to them if he wanted them.

“Fuck you! Just get it over with, demon.”

He collapsed onto his hands and knees, a horrible, inhuman keening noise in his throat. Something was wrong.

Something was very wrong.

At first I couldn’t grasp what was happening. It was gradual, a ripple over skin, a tightening of muscles. Even when I did see it, I didn’t understand what I was looking at.

A scream clawed up my chest, getting stuck halfway in my throat as my lungs shriveled with terror. I slid my feet back into the kitchen as slowly and soundlessly as I could. I didn’t close the kitchen door. The risk of drawing his attention was too great.

Whatever was out there in the moonlight, it wasn’t Jay anymore.

Dark fur shimmered and danced as the massive beast shook his coat out. I could hear him huffing breath, panting as he recovered from—whatever the fuck just happened to him.

I wasn’t going to define it. I couldn’t because that would mean it was real. Things like that didn’t exist. They didn’t happen.

Get out of here. Get your suitcase and leave right fucking now.

I obeyed that panicked voice, racing down the hall and back to the bedroom as fast as I dared.

With two frantic pulls I had the suitcase off the bed.

My shoulder nearly dislocated when I heaved it and ran to the garage door.

Only after tossing the suitcase into the trunk of my Prius and prying open the driver’s door did I realize I hadn’t even put on shoes.

Shoes were replaceable. My life was not. I smashed the garage door opener over and over, urging it to hurry. I didn’t know if Jay had seen me. Didn’t know if that thing was chasing me. I wasn’t slowing down to find out.

I didn’t take my foot off the accelerator until I was past our gravel driveway and turning onto the largest county road between us and Victoria. I hesitated at the turn, chewing my lip and trying to decide where to go.

A tug at my instincts said southeast. I’d never been there. I didn’t know anyone outside of Jay’s world.

I didn’t want to know anyone in his world anymore. It wasn’t mine. Whatever I saw—which I was already questioning now that I’d gained some distance—was in the past.

And the future, apparently, was on the Gulf Coast of Texas.