Chapter Twenty-Six
Reese
When Kelly made plans for us, I didn’t realize borrowing a ‘cousin’s’ boat was part of the plan.
I was wearing a knee-length sundress with tiny spaghetti straps.
A ‘Beth Original’ that she had kindly loaned me for the evening.
I was sure that, on Beth, the dress fell closer to her mid-calf or maybe even her ankles, but on me, it hit just above my knee.
“Are you comfortable?” Kelly asked loudly over the motor's sound.
The boat we were borrowing was one of the smaller ones in the marina, but boy, it sure packed a punch.
Kelly looked like a natural at the wheel.
He was wearing dark navy khaki pants and a loose cream-colored button-up shirt.
His hair had gotten a little longer over the last month, occasionally falling into his eyes, and the Top Gun mustache was on full display.
I had grown to love it, but I would rather die than admit it to him.
“I’m enjoying the view.” I winked at him, feeling completely at ease.
We had eaten at the infamous Uncle Benny’s shrimp truck, and it was truly earth-shattering. I could see why it had been such a big factor in the trivia bet. After nearly a two-hour drive to the North Shore, I was even more grateful that we didn’t have to make that drive for the guys.
“I’m glad the water is as calm as it is. This time next month, the swells will be huge.” He looked around, pleased with whatever he was assessing, and then dropped the anchor.
His hair gleamed in the soft light, but it had nothing on those dark ocean eyes. They sparkled with a playfulness I’d come to know and love.
Love.
That was the word that was on my mind daily now. I had never been in love before, but I was pretty sure I was in love now. I should have been shouting it from the rooftops, but I was petrified. The more I gave to Kelly, the more it was going to hurt when I left.
“Reese,” I loved the sound of my name when Kelly said it, “only you could outshine the sun,” he said.
My knees buckled slightly at his words.
“How do you do that?” I asked.
“Do what?” He came to sit next to me on the small bench in the middle of the boat. The waves gently rocked us back and forth.
“Say exactly what’s on your mind.” I smiled up at him.
“I can only do that when I’m with you.”
The words I love you came to the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed them down. I couldn’t say those words to him when I hadn’t been completely honest with him.
“Listen, we need to talk about my contract,” I said, forcing myself to say instead.
His eyebrows went to his hairline.
“I know it’s disappointing that they couldn’t offer me another extension,” I said.
“It is. But do you think there’s another hospital that you could get a contract through? I was doing some research online and saw that Pacific East had an opening in the ED,” he said, his eyes hopeful.
“I’m sure I could reach out to my agent and see. But...” I hesitated.
“Even if you don’t get a new contract right away, we could wait for the right one,” he pleaded.
My heart sank at his use of the word “we.”
“Kelly,” I swallowed the lump in my throat. If I told him I loved him, I couldn’t take it back. He would then have the power to hurt me. To abandon me, just like everyone else in my life. “I don’t know if I want a new contract here.” His body froze ever-so-slightly at my words.
“You don’t want to stay here?” his voice was wounded.
“I’ve been here for seven months. It defeats the purpose of being a travel nurse if I stay in one spot too long.” I was grasping at straws.
“So? Maybe it’s time to move on from the travel life.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready to.” I looked down at my feet.
“Are you happy?” He asked me, point-blank.
“Yes, I am...but...”
“But what?” he asked more firmly.
“I don’t know, Kelly.” I looked up at him, silently pleading that we drop this and salvage our evening together.
“What are we doing together? I know neither of us expected this, but I want to be together, Reese. I want to be your boyfriend. I want you in my life, every single day.”
The way his words wrapped around my heart and threatened to never let go scared me. It was foolish. This handsome, caring man wanted me to stay, but it only made me feel like I needed to run.
I brought my arms in close, suddenly feeling the frigid air against my skin.
Kelly wrapped an arm around me; the warmth of his body eased the chills, and my heart picked up at his physical closeness.
“I know your past has made it hard to trust people. But you can lean on me. I’m not going anywhere.”
My eyes burned with the promise of fresh tears. “I don’t know how to do any of this,” I admitted.
“I don’t either. But we can figure this out together. There is no one else I would rather experience life with than you.” He smiled slightly. “Say you’ll stay. Say you’ll fight for this chance for us to build a life together.”
I wanted to say yes, to sail off into the sunset with Kelly. But this was real life, and real life was so much messier. There could be no happy ending for us until I told him the truth—the truth I’d been hiding from him for almost three weeks.
“No,” I said, knowing I needed to tell the truth now and let him decide if he still wanted to be together. “Kelly, I—"
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.
Loud sounds started coming from Kelly’s pocket.
“What is that?” I asked, momentarily distracted.
“We must have hit a random patch of service,” he said as he reached into his pocket. “It’s probably just a text message.”
He looked down at his phone, and I expected him to put it away just as quickly as he had gotten it out—but he didn’t. The phone kept beeping, and Kelly’s tanned skin turned almost ghostly as the sun set on a Hawaiian New Year's Eve.