Four
Avianna
Today has been overwhelming, to say the least.
At this point, I don't know if I'm coming or going.
I thought I would be safe in Bridgewater Bend, but I guess I’ve become too complacent thinking that Uncle Jamie would just let me live my life.
I would gladly sign over all the money if it meant I could be free from him.
All the years of abuse I suffered at his hands, and for what?
Because he’s into something he can’t get out of.
I don’t even want to think about the fact that he’s the one who killed my parents.
God, I’m so angry I could scream sometimes.
Someone touches my elbow, making me jump, not expecting the touch. I look around to see Hawk looking at me with a sad look in his eyes. I notice all the guys left the room, which makes me wonder how long I’d been spaced out for. “Sorry, did you say something?”
“I was asking if you're ready to head out. It’s been a long day and you need your rest. Plus, I got the prospects to pick up dinner so we can just relax. How does that sound?”
Hawk lifts his hand and pushes a piece of hair behind my ear, making me shiver.
Every time he’s touched me, it feels like I can feel it all over my body.
He stands up and holds out his hand. “Yeah, that sounds good.” I place my hand in his as we make our way to the living room.
Blade and a heavily pregnant Hailey walk our way.
Her face is absolutely glowing. She pulls me into a quick hug.
“I want to thank you, Avianna, for agreeing to take the job. Blade has been on me for a while to find someone.”
She pulls me back into her hug. “Welcome to the family. Everything is going to be okay, we've got your back.”
She whispers so I can only hear her, and it’s taking everything in me not to burst out crying. Hawk’s family is absolutely amazing.
“Thank you, Hailey. I promise not to let you down.”
“I will let you get some rest, and I will see you tomorrow.” With that, Blade pulls her to his side as they walk away.
Hawk takes my hand, and we walk outside toward his truck.
The sun is starting to set, which is my favorite time of day.
It brings the possibility of new beginnings coming.
With Hawk’s help, I get in. Lord knows if I attempted to get in myself, I would be eating dirt.
His truck is massive, and I’m definitely not.
It doesn’t take us long before we are pulling into Hawk’s house, which I instantly fall in love with.
It’s a beautiful log cabin with a wrap-around porch and what looks like floor to ceiling windows that give off a soft glow from the inside.
He even has a garden with beautiful flowers blooming.
“Your house is beautiful, Hawk.” I whisper as I try to take everything in. He truly is blessed.
“Thank you. Come on, darlin, I will give you a tour.”
He helps me out of the truck, and we walk up the stairs.
He enters a code and lets me go in first.
It’s even more spectacular on the inside.
He has an open floor plan with the living room to the right, with a couch that looks comfy and cozy.
Modern, but definitely masculine. Books are piled on the coffee table, and you can tell they’ve been read a few times, which just adds another layer to who Hawk really is.
Hawk lets me explore as I make my way into the kitchen, which is huge with state-of-the-art appliances.
I turn around to see Hawk leaning against the wall, smiling at me. “I’ll have to show off my cooking skills for breakfast tomorrow. I make a mean omelet.” He winks at me, making me laugh.
“It’s I who should make you food for allowing me to stay with you.” I twist my hands in front of me, all nervous.
He pushes off the wall and walks my way until he is standing in front of me.
I put my head down, old habits. I guess he doesn’t like it when I don’t look him in the eye so he puts his fingers under my chin and lifts.
“Darlin it brings me nothing but happiness to do these things for you. You are my woman, and I will take care of you. Too soon to hear? I don’t care, I want to get that shit out in the open now so you know where I stand. Now how about we finish the tour and have some dinner?”
My heart beats double time. Hawk is not a man of many words, but when he does speak, his words hit me right in the heart.
“Okay.” Is all I whisper because right now I’m so overwhelmed with everything that is going on and I think Hawk knows that because he smiles at me, takes my hand and leads me up the stairs.
I can see four doors open, each one a bedroom and one bathroom, but Hawk doesn’t stop at one of those; he stops at the end of the hall at a closed door.
He looks at me, and it’s the first time I can see he’s nervous, almost as if he’s afraid to open this door.
He finally opens the door, allowing me to step into the room first, and I know right away this is Hawks' bedroom.
His smell is all over the place. It’s all dark furniture, a massive king-sized bed with black sheets, and a plush gray carpet.
As I walk further into the room, his smell envelopes me, making me sigh.
It's dark, rich, and uniquely Hawk. I can see a walk-in closet, and on closer inspection I can see my meager belongings hanging up with his, making me pause.
I walk back out to see him standing there, watching me.
Even though I know this is his bedroom, I have to make sure. “This is your bedroom, isn’t it?” Everything is just moving so fast, and for the first time in my life, I don’t mind it.
He takes a step toward me. Each step makes my heart beat double time.
“Yes, this is my room. When I had this house built, I had my ole lady in mind because I always knew she was out there and one day she would sleep in that bed with me. When I saw you in the diner that first time, I knew I had found her. This might not be conventional,
but you're here and I want you where you belong. In that bed, I will hold you in my arms at night, where you were always meant to be. I don’t give a shit if people think this is moving too fast. What matters is what you think. Because, darlin you're the one in control here.
So if you don’t want to sleep in that bed with me, I will sleep down the hall. I won’t like it because you're too far away, but I will respect what you want. All your life you’ve had ?control taken away from you, and I will be damned if I do the same. You set the pace of the relationship,
just know however long it takes I’m not going anywhere.”
Oh, my God. This man is something else. I swear I just fell in love with him.
He’s giving me a voice and a choice. For the first time, someone is asking me what I want, and it feels incredible.
To be held by him at night sounds nothing short of amazing.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt safer with someone than I do with Hawk.
I know deep down he would never hurt me.
He may be a rough and tough MC guy, but to me, he’s a big softy.
I can see it in the way he looks at me, the way he cares for me.
So I split the distance between us and grabbed his hand in mine.
This is the first time I initiated contact, and I can see it surprises him. Hell, it surprises me as well.
“For the first time in my life, I don’t want to play it safe. With you, I know I have nothing to fear. Yes, I’m scared, but not in the sense that I’m scared of you. I’ve never had a relationship before, but with you, I want to try. I just don’t know what I’m doing.
What I’m trying to say is I don’t want you to sleep down the hall.”
I can feel my face go red as I look at the bed and think of other things we could be doing.
Jesus Avianna, get your mind out of the gutter now is definitely not the time to be thinking those things.
Not that I know anything about that. Hello Virgin Mary, over here.
I look back at Hawk to see him smiling at me.
He pulls me closer to him, and I wrap my arms around his waist, sighing at the feeling of being held.
I can feel him kissing the top of my head, making me close my eyes. “Darlin, you have no idea how happy you just made me. For a long time, I’ve wanted you to see the real me.”
Before I could say anything else, my stomach made known that it was hungry and rumbled really loudly. Hawk let out a booming laugh. “Come on, darlin let’s get you fed. Then how about we come up here and relax with a movie? How does that sound?”
We walk back down the stairs and head for the kitchen to see the prospects have dropped off pizza, breadsticks, and some other things. The smell is making my mouth water. “That sounds amazing. I don’t even remember the last movie I saw.” Since I didn’t have a tv I’m behind on a lot of things.
I can see Hawk’s shoulders stiffen at my confession, and I know it bothers him with my lack of things.
He grabs the plates and napkins and turns around with a stiff smile on his face as he plates up the food.
“That’s okay, darlin, we have all the time in the world to watch whatever you want. I have beer, soda and water until we go to the store. What would you like?”
“Soda is fine, thank you.” We take a seat at the table, and I dig into my food.
God, it feels so good to be able to eat whenever I want.
Food insecurity is a big thing with me, as Uncle Jamie didn’t give me food, saying I didn’t deserve it, so anything I ate when I lived with him I had to get myself and not touch anything in the house.
“So, are you excited to start your new job tomorrow?” Hawk asks as he sits back and takes a sip of his beer.
I swallow my pizza and nod my head. “Yeah, I just hope I don’t mess anything up.” I really want his family to like me. I know how important they are to him.
He reaches over the table and gives my hand a squeeze, knowing how nervous I am. “Darlin, you are going to be fine. Hailey will be with you tomorrow to teach you the ropes. You've got nothing to worry about; you will be great.”
I smile at him, and my heart is happy. “Thank you, Hawk, that means a lot.”
He winks at me, lord, that man should not do that; it's making my insides jump.
Though no one could blame me, the man is hot.
He sets his beer down and gets an intense look on his face.
“I will have a prospect with you when I can’t be with you. If your uncle is smart, he will stay away, or he will not like the consequences.”
Hawk’s smile is downright feral, and it sends shivers down my spine.
I know my uncle, and he doesn't like to be told what to do, but he should heed Hawk's threat for what it is.
I know he’s a big softy to me, but lying at the surface is the reason he’s a member of The Lost Saints MC, and lord help those they cross.