15. Hawk
Hawk
We washed our clothes at the cottage before leaving, but the time we spent together this weekend is like a new skin I cannot shed.
She’s part of me in a way no other human on this earth has ever been. Maybe this is what it feels like when they talk about soul mates. I sure as fuck never felt this way about Sadie.
We roll to a stop in front of her condo, and I immediately tense. A dark sedan with tinted windows is parked across the street. I can’t tell for sure if someone’s inside, but the rear window is cracked just enough that I suspect there is.
I scan the street for other threats, but Veronica seems completely unconcerned. Something about her innocence, her total lack of situational awareness, reminds me of the two completely different worlds we live in.
I need to be cautious all the time.
A chill runs down my spine at the thought that I could bring that kind of danger to Veronica’s door.
But just then, a kid carrying an insulated pizza delivery bag runs from the condo entrance and pauses at the street. He looks at us for a second, but then scans the road, clicks a fob in his hand, and jumps into the dark sedan. He fires up the engine and takes off.
Pizza. Just a kid delivering pizza.
Veronica has climbed off the bike, and she puts a hand on my shoulder. “Want to come in?” she asks.
I do, but I think if I go inside her place, we’ll end up exactly where we’ve been all weekend. In bed. In the kitchen, bent over the sink. Over the kitchen table. In the shower. On the couch.
I’m not complaining, but I know she’s got to get up for work tomorrow. And I have to get back to the compound. I’ve spent the weekend liking texts from Phantom and Savage, and I think if I don’t check in, they’re going to send Tank to track me down.
“I’d really love to,” I tell her, “but I’ve got to go. Club shit.”
She looks disappointed, and that raises something in my chest that started to fall the minute we pulled in. I get off the bike, take her helmet, and secure it for the ride back. “I changed your contact in my phone,” I tell her.
She grins. “Hmm. Do I want to know?”
I chuckle. “I’ll show you next time.” That’s as much of an invitation as I leave. It’s too fucking much to hope that she’ll want to see me again. To hope that this incredible weekend of fucking wasn’t just that for her. “I never did get you flowers.”
“You’ll have to do that next time too,” she says, but there is a sadness or something in her voice that I don’t recognize.
All weekend, we’ve been raw, naked—emotionally and physically. I don’t know why now, standing in front of her building on the street, I feel like a stranger to her. “Can I kiss you goodbye?” Something about the word goodbye catches in my throat.
She seems to hear it and looks…conflicted.
“It’s okay if—”
Before I get the words out, she lunges for me. Not like she did that first night when she was drunk. But like there’s nothing she’d rather do than kiss me.
I hold her close to me as my fingers graze her skin, and I feel the tremble in her body as we kiss.
I release her, not knowing what else to say. See you soon? Call me? Fuck. I’m a thirty-eight-year-old divorced criminal biker who just fucked this woman into next week. How am I supposed to say goodbye after a weekend like this?
Thankfully, Veronica figures it out for us.
“Don’t make me change your contact in my phone to Asshole Who Never Called Again,” she says, a sadness in her voice.
I nod. “Yes, Miss Hollifield.”
In that moment, I want her back in the bubble of my cottage.
I want to take her back to my uncle’s place and feed her grilled cheese sandwiches and nachos.
I want to swing under the night sky with a beer in one hand and her by my side.
I want things that men like me shouldn’t dare to hope for, let alone ask for.
I let her go and climb back onto the bike. I really don’t want to say goodbye, but I don’t say that. “I’ll watch you get in,” I tell her.
She nods, the same dull sadness etched on her face that I am sure is on mine. She walks up to the entrance and unlocks the door with a code.
Once she’s inside the lobby, she turns back to me and waves. I can’t wave back. That feels too much like goodbye.
I drop my sunglasses over my eyes to mask my expression, then pull away from the curb. It feels like I’m leaving a piece of myself behind, but I follow the road and the setting sun.
Walking back into the compound is like traveling back in time.
Tank is at the bar leaning on his elbows, talking to Stella, a cigar in his mouth.
It’s a holiday, so I don’t expect to see Shadow, but he’s there, pinching his eyebrows between two fingers.
Turns out a lot of the crew is here tonight, which means something is going down.
“Fucker.” I slap Shadow on the shoulder and nod at Stella and Tank.
“You look like you could use a beer.” Stella lowers a brow at me, and I shake my head.
“I’ll take a beer.” When she hands me a bottle, I take a long swig and turn to Shadow. I don’t even have to ask why he’s here.
“Phantom’s here,” he says, motioning toward the offices.
That means he wants to see me. I take my beer down the hall, where Phantom’s office door is open. “Yo,” I say. “Welcome back. How was the trip?”
Phantom nods and motions for me to come in. “The girls told me they almost killed you.” He smiles a quick, thin smile. “You make it out okay?”
I laugh. “Piece of cake. They’re great.” I hold up my arm. “If it leaves a scar, I’ll ink over it.”
He nods. “Thank you.” He meets my eyes. “You know I mean it.”
I do know, and I hold up a hand. “No thanks needed. So, what’s going on?”
Phantom sighs and lights up a cigar. He rubs his face and curses softly under his breath. “A few teenagers from the high school overdosed at a party this weekend.”
My heart stops in my chest, and I nearly drop my beer. “Holly and Daisy—”
Phantom’s eyes go wide. “Fuck no. They were home with us all weekend. They’re okay. And none of the kids died, but two are in bad shape.” He scratches the back of his neck. “One of the kids belongs to one of the shitheads in Elliott’s crew.”
I drop down into a chair in front of Phantom. “What does this mean for the club?”
Phantom sighs. “For now, all I know is Elliott’s calling a stop to all business. Icing the supply he has until the heat cools down.”
“He going to get his crew in order?” I ask. A druggie kid anywhere in the organization’s chain means that someone got sloppy, and sloppy is how people get caught.
Phantom shrugs. “Whether he does or not is his business. We’re cutting all ties with him.”
Fuck. Selling guns to Elliott at the level we have been is lucrative business. Business that Elliott can’t afford to do if he’s got the cops sniffing around too close.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
Phantom bites the cigar between his teeth. “We need some legitimate ways to make cash because this shit is happening way too much and killing our bottom line.” Phantom shakes his head. “I fucking hate drugs. Shit’s too messy.”
Everything that makes fast cash is.
“Shadow had a few ideas, and…” Phantom shrugs. “They have potential, but the best one is a bar.”
“Bar?” My eyebrows rise. “How? A liquor license is expensive as fuck, let alone the red tape.”
“Shadow knows a guy who’s looking to retire and sell his business, along with the license.
I got someone on the county council who’ll make sure the sale goes through.
He won’t be a problem. All-cash business.
It’ll kill two birds with one stone. A place to make money and wash the other cash we get too. ”
I nod, understanding. “Do you think a bar can bring in enough cash fast enough?”
“I don’t think we’ll have problems finding customers,” he replies before continuing. “The markup on liquor is astronomical. Also, I’ve been thinking about giving Stella more responsibility. We can pay her a real salary, and she can use her skills behind that bar instead of this one.”
I nod, seeing the potential.
“Shadow thinks he can push the sale through and have us running in thirty days. I also have my eye on a few places that are for sale nearby. It’ll allow us to expand our legitimate operations. I’ll make some calls.”
The real question isn’t whether the sale can happen fast enough, but if we can get enough customers to replace the income we’re going to lose with the cops breathing down Elliott’s neck.
“Best case, we’ve got another business. Worst case, we’ve got a backup plan. We’re getting a little long in the tooth to be serving time. I don’t have that many more years left to be throwing them away on stupid shit.” Phantom takes another long puff on his cigar. “You in?”
I drain my beer. “I’m in.”
He grunts and I leave, knowing Phantom’s said all he needs to say. I head out to the front, where Shadow and Tank are talking to Stella.
I don’t know how much they know about the plan, but Shadow lifts his brows. “We going legit?”
“Looks that way,” I tell him.
“You good with this?” Shadow asks.
I nod. “As good as I can be, knowing why this is happening. Happy for you, though. This what you wanted?”
Shadow shrugs. “It’ll make Violet sleep better at night, but it all needs to look legit until it becomes legit.”
That’s why we need Stella. The business will probably be in Stella’s name.
She’s not patched. No criminal record. She’s a ghost as far as other clubs are concerned.
She’s no innocent lamb. But if she can benefit without getting her hands too dirty, it makes sense to get her out from behind this bar.
“I’ll handle everything,” I tell him.
We shoot the shit about nothing, and then I head back inside to hit the hay, while Shadow goes home to his old lady. It hits me then—I wish I were back at the cottage.
This place has been home for as long as I can remember. I was a prospect for years before I had an office and a title, so home is really wherever my brothers are.
When I was with Sadie, we had an agreement about time, a schedule that worked for us. Or maybe it didn’t. I can’t imagine that if I had a choice, I’d choose this place over Veronica.
It’s been one weekend, and I’m already understanding how Phantom, Shadow, and Savage feel.