18. Veronica
Veronica
When I wake up the next morning, my eyes feel heavy and my chest… It’s like a weight that I’ve been carrying inside for my entire life has finally become too heavy.
There are always problems to solve. Always pains and unexpected stresses. Life is about getting up out of bed and tackling the list one item at a time.
At least, that’s how I usually feel.
I shove aside the light blanket and listen to the whir of my ceiling fan, overcome with the desire to stay in bed and hide.
So I roll onto my back and throw a pillow over my face. I consider calling in sick to work today. Ignore the problems and fears and questions. Let them stack up like the emails I’m sure I’m already receiving.
Even as I think about the French toast I could make and the movies I could watch, I know there is no way I’ll stay home. It’s not who I am. It’s not what I believe in. Today, I will have follow-up calls to make and to take, students to meet with, parents to console.
I shower and think about making coffee and breakfast, but I decide against it.
Even though I am up extra early, I feel as if I’m moving in super-slow motion.
Everything is off. I get mascara in my eye, my hand slips applying lipstick, and I end up with a smear that stains my skin.
I can’t find my favorite work heels, which makes no sense since I wore them yesterday, but here we are.
Everything is fine, and yet nothing feels okay.
By the time I pull into school, I’m arriving only ten minutes earlier than usual, and I still feel foggy.
I pull around the front drive, past a black SUV with dark-tinted windows idling in front of the statue of our school mascot.
That dull ache in my chest loosens a little, and I let a sigh relax my shoulders.
He’s here.
Hawk.
The news is either good or bad, but it doesn’t matter. He’s here.
I can’t decide whether I should get out of the car or just wave. He makes it easy on me. He jumps out of the SUV and trots up to my car.
“Morning, Miss Hollifield.” The way he says it makes my pulse pound.
“Hi,” I say, my words weak. As tired as I am, I can’t deny how good it feels to see him. The morning sun reflects off his dark sunglasses so I can’t see his eyes, but his lips are set in a serious frown under that gorgeous beard. “Is everything okay?”
He nods. “Is there a place I can park for the day?”
Oh.
He’s here.
At my school.
And he’s parking.
“I’ll have to get you a pass, but yes, follow me.”
He climbs back into his SUV and follows me around the long driveway to the teachers’ parking lot.
I pull into a spot, and he glides in beside me.
All around us, teachers are unloading their cars.
A few teachers chat with one another, nodding or waving at me, and quite a few throw confused stares at Hawk.
He’s not wearing his leather vest. Instead, he’s wearing a dark blue dress shirt, dark navy jeans, and combat boots. He grimaces as I look him over. “I thought it’d look better if I looked like private security. At least, that’s what you can tell anyone who asks.”
I nod, but the whole situation feels surreal. I pull my messenger bag out of my passenger side footwell and curse softly.
“What is it?” He’s beside me in an instant.
“Nothing,” I admit. “I didn’t have the best morning. I forgot my coffee. I’m surprised my head’s attached to my body.”
He looks me over from head to toe and licks his lips. If he was planning on commenting, he changes his mind. “Let’s get you inside.”
He opens the rear of the SUV and pulls out a black backpack. For a moment, panic tickles its way up the back of my neck. I’m tired and maybe I’m not thinking clearly, but Hawk just told me last night what he’s capable of. I’ve never seen him with a backpack before.
I must be staring because I feel the heat of his hand hovering at my back. “Relax, V,” he says low against my hair. “I brought lunch and a laptop. Let’s go.”
I nod, relief flooding my legs. I have to shrug off the desire to hold on to his arm, to hook my hand through his elbow. One weekend of sex and one threat of violence, and I’m exhausted, seeing monsters at every turn.
I lift my chin, lock my car door, and stride across the lot with a lot more poise than I feel. At least, I hope I do. Hawk follows behind me, and I can’t help noticing that he follows at a distance. When I reach the door and look back, he’s scanning the lot.
“No cameras?” he asks.
I shake my head. “But we have a guard who patrols campus once the bell rings.”
I pull out my keys and unlock the door. “Old-school for an old school,” I say, trying to make light of the fact that we don’t have fancy access codes on the teachers’ entrance.
He makes a sound that resembles a growl, but the corners of his mouth lift. He follows me into the school, and I have to laugh at how out of place he looks.
I can only tell Hawk is gritting his teeth by the set of his full lips, and I turn and head up the stairs. He’s close behind me, and I’m hyperaware of the fact that he’s inches from my rear end. When we reach the second floor, I unlock a second set of doors that lead to a reception area.
“Hi, Jada.” I greet my assistant with a warm smile. She’s typing away at her computer and hardly looks up at me until the heavy presence of Hawk approaches her desk.
“Good morning, Miss Holli—oh.”
I grin. “I’ll need a parking pass for Mr. Greco, please.” I turn to Hawk. “Will you be here all day?”
He shakes his head. “No, but I’d like to be able to come back if I need to.”
I nod. “Can you please issue him a long-term sub pass?”
Jada’s eyes look like dinner plates as she clicks around with her mouse. She asks Hawk all the questions about the make and model of the car he drives, the license plate, and then prints out a two-week parking pass. She explains how to display it on his dash and then hands it to him in slow motion.
“Thank you, ma’am,” he says, never removing his sunglasses.
Oh God. I know I’m going to hear it from Jada when he’s gone. But for now, I’m just glad he’s here. And I’m a little disappointed he’s not staying.
We head into my office, and I close the door behind us. I drop my messenger bag, and Hawk pulls off his sunglasses.
I lean against my desk and rub my eyes. I’m so tired.
I still wish I were home under the covers, but feeling Hawk’s eyes on me, I know that’s just not possible.
I invite him to sit, but to my surprise, he sets his backpack on my guest chair and takes out a brown paper bag.
The backpack has an inner compartment, and he pulls out two tall travel mugs and offers one to me.
“Light sugar, no cream,” he says quietly.
My memory immediately goes back to our weekend together. The coffee we drank naked on the couch. Sitting side by side on the swing in his yard overlooking the water. Light sugar, no cream. After just one weekend, he remembered.
I take the travel mug from him. “Thank you,” I say, my voice hoarse with emotion. “You didn’t have to…”
He opens the paper bag with a grin. “These, you have to share.”
Inside are a half dozen bagels and assorted small containers of cream cheese, peanut butter, jelly, and butter packets.
“We didn’t eat much, so I didn’t know what you liked on your bagel.” The look in his eyes tells me he’s back there too. The fishing cottage. The dim lights. The stars overhead. The moon on the water.
I nod. “Thank you, Hawk.” It’s all I can say. The rest of my emotions are a tangle of longing and something else that I refuse to name or even think about. I take a sip of the coffee, and he pulls out his phone.
“I don’t have news yet, but I wanted to make sure you got in safely.
” He lowers the sunglasses back over his eyes, and I’m sorry for the shield between us.
I want to see his eyes. The beautiful chocolate brown, the expressive sparkle.
“Anything happens today, anything at all, you call me. Understand?”
I nod. “What will you do?”
He cocks his chin and scratches at his beard. “I’ve got work to do. Can you stay inside the building today?”
I laugh. “Yeah. I’ll stay inside. No tardies from me today.”
“Good.” He gets up and zips the backpack. I noticed the laptop inside, and I wonder what the heck he plans to do with it. He pinches the parking pass between two fingers. “This good for just the SUV, or can I put it on the dash of any of the cars I drive back?”
“Technically, just the SUV, but if you need it for another vehicle or your bike, just let me know.”
He gets up to leave but turns to look through the large glass window in my door.
Then he comes back to me and cups my chin in his hand.
“You look like you had a rough night.” His voice, low and sensual, skates across my nerve endings.
Every pore in my body longs for him, leans toward him.
I close my eyes and relax into his touch.
“I did,” I admit softly. “I almost didn’t come in today.”
His fingers flex against my skin, but then he pulls back, as if he’s warring with himself. “I’ll be back to take you home,” he promises. “And I’ll check in. Answer your phone when you can, or I’ll come back and make sure you’re safe myself. You got that?”
I swallow against the sudden dryness in my mouth. “Hawk…” I’m almost afraid to ask. “Have you checked on my dad? I was afraid to go there this morning. I didn’t want to call any attention to him, but it’s going to seem weird if I don’t visit him soon.”
“Your pops is fine. I had two guys there last night in shifts, and one’s there now. I don’t think you’re going to have to worry about him for much longer.”
He strides to the door and looks back, but then he just nods and leaves. He pauses at Jada’s desk and says something to her. She looks back at me and smiles so big, you’d think Hollywood’s hottest actor just offered her the role of his leading lady.
Then she waves him off, and he’s gone.
He’s barely out of the office for five seconds before Jada practically knocks down my door.
“Come on in,” I tell her, sipping my absolutely perfect coffee.
“Veronica, what in the name of all that is holy is happening here?”
My stomach drops. What did he say to her?
Jada helps herself to a bagel and a small tub of strawberry cream cheese. “That man told me that he’s a friend of some students who go here and that he was checking up on you personally to make sure everything’s okay.” Her voice grows serious. “Did something happen?”
Oh my God. It all hits me then. Jada doesn’t know about my weekend with Hawk. The last she heard, I was having dinner with Holly and Daisy to make sure they were okay while their parents were out of town. My God, that feels like two years ago—not just a couple of days.
I explain about Marina Wilson’s father stopping by my condo last night.
She looks horrified and immediately drops her bagel and rushes over to give me a bear hug. “My God, are you okay? You must have been terrified.”
I hug her back, grateful for the concern that I know is truly sincere. “I called a friend who does private security. He offered to check up on me this morning and make sure I’m safe.”
“A man looks like that, and I’d ask him to escort me here, home, and right into my bedroom.
” She heads back to my small conference table and slathers her bagel with cream cheese as she says it, not looking at me.
She shakes her head, a somber look on her face.
“This is serious, scary stuff.” She gives me a look so filled with love and compassion, I almost cry.
“This job isn’t for the weak. Sometimes I feel more like a warden at a prison than an educational support specialist.”
I chuckle at the irony. Everywhere around me, there are reminders that Hawk might be a criminal, but the rest of the world isn’t exactly a fairy tale.
I thank her for worrying about me but assure her that I’ll make the calls I need to. I have always been able to take care of myself and my loved ones just fine. I’ve got this too, don’t I?
All I know is for the first time in my career—and probably in my life—I’ve never been more grateful to feel like I’m not handling everything completely alone.