Chapter 4
Wanting Peace
Instead of rolling over into my fiancé’s arms, I opened my eyes to an empty side of the bed.
I sat up slow, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, already knowing something felt off before I even looked.
Love notes always came with flowers. He never just left me a note.
I picked it up and opened it slowly.
At the gym, call me when you get on the road. –Ya Man
I stared at it for a second longer than I should have, like the words on the paper were going to change to something else.
I sat the note back down, jaw a little tight as I looked around the room like I could still feel his presence even though he was gone.
But there was something about it, and I knew not to ignore that feeling—not after everything he said about Gio.
That name hit me, and my body instantly tensed for two reasons. One, because I was over him, two, because I was scared for him.
I exhaled slow as I leaned against the headboard, staring at the ceiling while my thoughts ran crazy about all the different things Love could be doing.
As I looked down from the ceiling, I caught the time on the TV and jumped out of bed and went into the bathroom to hop in the shower to get ready for work.
Throughout my whole morning routine— showering, brushing my teeth, doing my hair and makeup, and getting dressed—I was thinking about Love and Gio being face-to-face, Love telling Gio what it is, and Gio telling him what it was.
I was scared for both of them. I didn’t want Love to get caught and locked up over a nigga we could have ignored. And I wanted Gio to fall back with grace. But I knew that wasn’t going to be the case.
By the time I left the house, my mind hadn’t calmed down. In fact, I was more worried about calling Love and him not answering.
I held my phone tightly in my hand, trying to figure out the best time to call him.
I made it out of the elevator, after having small talk with some of the neighbors through the lobby, and out to my car.
As I pulled out of the parking lot, ready to call him, my dash lit up with his name. I exhaled hard before I picked up.
“Hey, baby,” I said as I picked up.
“Wussup, wifey, you good?” he sounded so damn good and calm, like he wasn’t up to no good.
“Yess,” I responded, trying not to smile, but it was hard not to.
“Good, I wanted to make sure you were good—”
“Did you find Gio?” I blurted out. I didn’t even mean to.
The line went silent for a second.
“I left you a note on the pillow that said I was goin’ to the gym.”
I sucked my teeth. “Love, baby, when the fuck have you ever left me a note that didn’t have flowers attached to it?”
He laughed. “Damn, girl, you got me.”
I laughed along with him. I knew my man already.
“Did you find him?” I asked again. I really wanted to know.
“I can’t tell you that, baby...”
“Why?” I asked before he could even finish his sentence.
“Because I don’t want you involved in shit.”
I didn’t know what to say or how to take his response.
“You at work yet?” he asked.
“Yeah, baby, I’m pullin’ in now.”
“Well, have a good shift. I’m finna hit the store. I’ll see you tonight, and your lunch will be there for you like always.”
“I love you, Love,” I responded soft but quick.
“I love you more, mamas.”
I got to work shortly after hanging up, checked my surroundings, and made my way inside with a group of other nurses.
Once I made it to my floor, I was a bit more at ease. I was known throughout the hospital now, and people fucked with me. I got to the locker room, and my girls greeted me like they hadn’t seen me in years.
“Girl, let me see that ring!” Deja yelled as she yanked my hand.
Renee leaned over hard to look at it as well.
“That nigga is a stepper!” she added, and we all agreed.
“Yeah, if only Gio realized it,” Kenya added. I had to agree with that, too.
“I wish he did. Love was out of the house before I woke up this morning. When I talked to him on the way here, he wouldn’t tell me if he saw Gio or not.”
“Are you scared?” Deja asked.
“Not scared,” I responded truthfully. “I am worried for both of them. Both them niggas a different kind of crazy.”
We all gave a slight laugh, knowing nothing was funny about what I said.
“I was thinking about it.”
They all stopped what they were doing, like they felt I was going to drop a bomb.
“I was thinking maybe I should try to talk to Gio.”
Deja and Kenya rolled their eyes as Renee sucked her teeth.
“Why the hell do you think that’s a good idea, Islah?” Kenya asked.
“Yeah, that nigga hasn’t listened to you any other time you said it,” Deja added before I could respond.
“I know, but this time it’s different. I got this nigga ring on my finger. He knows how much I wanted to be a wife. He should know that I’m serious about it.”
Kenya shook her head, bringing me back to reality. “He knows you got the ring on your finger, why the fuck do you think he popped up on me when he couldn’t find you? That shit set him off more.”
I forgot about that. Kenya’s comment made me rethink my whole plan for a second.
“Yeah, but maybe he needs to hear it from me, and besides, I’ma remind him that he loves me, and if he ever did, he would let me go be happy.”
My girls all looked at each other and back at me as they headed to the door.
“Islah, just let your man handle it. Love is gonna make sure Gio stays gone.”
I nodded my head, taking in all they were saying. I got changed and started my shift.
The whole time I was working, my mind kept drifting back to the same shit.
Love.
Gio.
What the hell Love did or was going to do.
I tried to focus on my patients, charting, meds, all the regular shit that usually kept my mind busy, but it felt like my thoughts were louder than everything else around me.
Just like clockwork, when my lunchtime hit, I was getting the buzz from the nurses’ station for my lunch. I finished up with my patient and headed there, and stopped in my tracks halfway there, staring at this huge flower arrangement, and I couldn’t help but smile.
It was colorful, almost tropical, with little butterflies through it. I stared at it harder, shaking my head, while nurses and patients stared when I noticed the card.
I grabbed it without thinking twice and opened it.
Since your note this morning didn’t come with flowers, I made sure your lunch did…I love you, wifey.
–Your Man
“That man, that man, that man,” I muttered to myself softly, I thought.
“That man is right,” I heard Renee coming from behind me.
I turned and looked at her, and she looked mad but was pouting.
“Girl, what is your problem?” I asked her.
“I am so happy that you got a nigga who loves you,” she said, still pouting. “But I need me a Love. I didn’t know that nigga moved like that.”
I laughed. “He is different.”
I picked up my lunch, then we walked down to the cafeteria to meet Deja and Kenya.
As soon as we sat down, Renee showed them a picture of the flowers I got, and they both just shook their heads, staring at me while I took bites from my combination plate from my favorite Chinese spot.
“The nigga is ridiculous,” I said through my food.
“The nigga is in a league by himself,” Kenya said.
“Yeah, reason why you need to let him handle the Gio shit,” Deja added.
I agreed with them, even though my mind was telling me something else, but I decided to keep it to myself.
After lunch, we were walking back to our floor together when I started to trail behind.
“I’ll meet y’all up there. I’ma call Love real quick.”
They nodded and went on ahead, and as soon as they were outta eyesight, I made a call.
Yo?” the person said on the other end of the phone.
“Bully, it’s Islah,” I said softly.
“Sis!” he yelled into the phone. “You good?”
I smiled, hearing his voice. “Wussup brah, I’m good… Are you around Gio?”
The line went quiet for a second.
“Hell no, that nigga in the A trippin’ over you.”
I sighed. “I know, and my nigga—”
“Gonna fuck his ass up!” he said, cutting me off. “I’m waitin’ for the call. That nigga is not listening to anybody and mad we’re not riding with him.”
I shook my head. “Listen, I don’t want this shit to continue, and I know Love is ready to put an end to Gio for good.”
“What do you have in mind, sis?”
I exhaled, closed my eyes, and blurted it out. “I want to talk to Gio, face-to-face. I think that I can get him to go home and understand that me and him are done.”
“I don’t think so, sis, that nigga is not thinking how he used to.”
“I know all sides of Gio, I think… I know how to get through to him.”
Bully sighed. “You gonna tell your nigga?”
“No, I’ma try to fix this so he doesn’t. Call Gio for me, and let’s set this up before I lose my mind.”
“Okay,” Bully said reluctantly.
I sat on the line for a few minutes.
The line went silent for a second, and then my heart dropped when I heard, “Nigga, who? It bet not be Kronic bitch ass!”
“Gio?” I responded.
“Islah?” he responded quickly.
“Yeah, I want to meet up so we can talk,” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking.
“And just cause I don’t trust yo’ ass, Gio,” Bully said, cutting in. “I’ma fly in to chaperone, because she don’t want HER NIGGA to kill you.”
“Man, shut up!” he muttered. “When you want to do this, baby girl?”
I sighed. “Bully, when you get in town, hit me. We will do it then.”
“10-4,” Bully responded, and I hung up.
I stared at my phone for a few seconds after the call ended, my stomach twisting hard as reality started to settle in.
I really just set up a meeting with Gio!
In fucking person.
“What the fuck am I doing?” I whispered to myself.
I pushed off the wall and headed to the elevator, walking slower than I should have been, lost in my thoughts once again.
Part of me felt I was doing the right thing.
If I could get Gio to understand what it was, maybe all the bullshit could stop before somebody ended up dead or in jail for life.
But then, the other side of me kept thinking about Love, the way he looked at me, the way he protected me. And now I was hiding something from him.
That shit made me feel sick to my stomach.
The doors to the elevator opened, and as I stepped out, I ran into Deja.