Chapter 9
The Breaking Point
Iwas sitting at the island, looking at more wedding things, when Amir came and sat beside me. I watched as his eyes drifted over everything I had laying out, even flipping through some magazines.
“What colors are you thinking about?” he asked with a straight face.
I laughed under my breath. “I was thinking red and black, or dark green and gold.”
Amir nodded like he was judging it. “I like green and gold.”
“Well then, you know what? That’s what we’re going with.”
His face lit up. “Are you serious?”
I smiled, loving his excitement. “Yes, we said you are a part of this wedding, and I’ma make sure you are. You want to do a lil’ shopping with me?”
“I’ma go put my shoes on!” he said before running to his room.
I texted the group chat, letting them know me and Amir picked the colors and told them where we were gonna be to do some light shopping.
Deja was with her mom, and Renee was on a day date, but Kenya was ready to link up with us.
I locked my phone and grabbed my wedding planning things. When Amir came running back down the hall, happy, I had never seen a lil’ nigga so happy to do wedding shopping, but I was here for it.
We walked out, and he was already talking about the flowers on the table, and candles, and shit I didn’t know a lil’ boy knew about. I was shocked, but loved his vibe.
“How do you know so much about wedding planning?” I asked Amir in the elevator.
He sighed. “My mama likes all wedding movies. She used to say her and Daddy’s wedding would be a movie.”
I laughed, not meaning to, but it came out anyway.
“She was thinking cartoons, baby, our wedding is gonna be live action.”
We laughed as we walked outta the elevator and out to my car. As I drove, he talked my ear off about basketball, his classmates, teachers, and even his plans for the summer.
I loved listening to him talk. He sounded like a lil’ version of his dad. Proper, but still had some hood in him.
We pulled up to the first store, and Amir was out of the car before I could fully park.
“Come on,” he said, like I was moving slow.
I grabbed my bag and followed him inside, and the second we stepped in, his whole energy shifted into focus.
He wasn’t just looking at stuff. He was listening to me talking about what would match and the accent colors we were looking for.
“This green is too bright, right?” he asked, holding up a sample.
I nodded with a smile, and we moved on.
Amir moved through the aisle like he had a checklist in his head, stopping when something caught his attention and moving right along when it didn’t.
I found myself watching him more than actually shopping.
After a while, Kenya pulled up and found us in one of the aisles. We hugged, and I introduced her to Amir.
“Nice to meet you,” he said, holding his hand out for Kenya to shake it.
She smiled at me. “Love has a lil’ gentleman on his hand.”
He nodded, agreeing with her, then started telling her his ideas for the wedding. I could tell by the look on her face that she was in awe of him.
“I love your ideas, lil’ man, but if we gonna do this, we need to lock in, come on.”
I got my shit together, and we started taking pictures, comparing prices to other stores, writing shit down. I felt so at peace planning my wedding, like after all I went through with Gio and getting the nerve to leave, I was finally getting my reward.
Kenya stayed with us until it was time for her nail appointment, and we all walked out of the store together and pulled off.
On the ride, Amir said he was hungry and led me to his favorite burger spot. After getting our food, we sat on the hood of my car and bussed it down.
“You know what?” he said.
“What?”
“I knew I would like living with Dad, but now, I’ma really like it. You gonna be a cool stepmom. “
I smiled, trying not to let out a tear. I nudge him a lil’ bit. “Give me some grace tho, I’m new to all of this.”
He nodded. “You doing okay to me. You cook good, funny, and my daddy loves you.”
That lil’ nigga.
“Come on, let’s grab some ice cream before we head home.”
Amir finished up what he wanted, and we packed up the rest of our food and slid across town to this lil’ ice cream spot that I found on IG.
The line was kind of long, but the music was a vibe.
Amir and I sang and danced inch by inch in the line.
We even snapped some pictures, and he sent them to Love.
After eating ice cream, we went and did a lil’ shopping. I bought some things for myself, copped Amir some shoes and a few outfits he was eyeing, then headed home.
The sun was setting on our drive, and Amir fell asleep. I took my time moving through traffic, listening to the music, and letting him get his rest.
When we did reach home, Amir was lagging through the elevator and hallway until he got to the door and saw the big ass TV that he wanted and a box from Birkin.
“Did you get this for me too?” he asked as I unlocked the door.
“Boy, hell no,” I said, laughing. “I fuck with you and all…want you to like me and all, but not that much.”
We laughed, and I helped him pull the TV inside.
“It has a note on it,” he said as he handed me the box. I laid it on the counter along with everything else I had and opened the note and read it with a smile.
“Your dad said, ‘Welcome home.’”
Amir started jumping up and down, cheering. “He did it! He said he would do it!”
I walked over to him, trying to get him to calm down.
“What did your dad say he would do?”
Amir caught his breath.
“Dad said that he would have me moved in before y’all get married, he promised, and he did it! I knew talking to Mommy would work!”
I smiled as he hugged me.
“I’m so happy for you, Amir! Welcome home!”
“I’ma put the TV up.”
“Hol up, lil’ nigga,” I said, stopping him from dragging it up the hall. “Let’s wait for your father.”
He sucked his teeth and agreed, and went on to the living room to watch TV.
While he was coolin, I put my headphones on and started dinner. After a while, I heard and felt the door slam shut, and I looked up to see Love storming in with a look on his face that I never saw before.
I slid my headphones off and gave him a slight smile.
“Hey baby, how was your day?” I asked.
“Where were you yesterday?”
I thought about it before I answered.
“I was at Deja’s house. We did wedding planning.”
Love stared at me for a long second.
“Islah, you know I love you, mamas. I’m trying not to spazz the fuck out right now! Where the fuck were you yesterday—what did you do other than chill with your girls?”
I paused again and placed my knife on the counter, looking him straight in the eyes.
“I was with my girls, baby. I don’t know what else you want from me.”
My heart was beating in my ears, and my knees were weak behind that island, knowing that I was lying to him.
Love unlocked his phone, pressed something, then slid it across the island.
“What the fuck is this then?”
I slowly picked up the phone and saw a picture of me sitting with Bully and Gio. I looked up from the phone, and Love was staring at me like he was ready to come across the island.
“Baby, it was—”
“Why the fuck would you go meet with that nigga? What the fuck are you on?!” he barked, cutting me off.
My chest tightened instantly.
“Lower your voice,” I said quickly, glancing toward the hallway where Amir was.
“Mann, I do not want to hear that shit. I’m not lowering shit right now!” Love snapped. “You just lied to my fuckin’ face.”
“It wasn’t like that, baby.”
“I don’t want to hear that shit, Islah.”
Love snatched his phone back off the island and started pacing the kitchen, running his hands over his braids while trying to calm himself down, but it wasn’t working.
“That nigga was at your job.”
“That nigga been stalking!”
“I beat that nigga’s ass, and you thought it was smart to sit down and have lunch with the nigga?”
“I was tryin’ to end it!” I yelled back. “That’s all, nothing more, nothing less.”
Love stopped pacing and looked at me.
“Did he agree to leave after talking to him over lunch?”
I shook my head. “No, but I thought if I talked to him face-to-face he would finally understand that it was nothing left for me and him.”
“That nigga understands that shit!” Love barked some more. “He just don’t give a fuck!”
I swallowed hard, because I knew he was right, while Love laughed bitterly, shaking his head.
“I got the whole city watching this nigga to protect you, and you’re out here making me look crazy.”
“That’s not fair, Love,” I responded. “I wasn’t trying to cross you or disrespect you—”
“But you did,” Love responded low, cutting me off calmly.
That hit me hard.
He stopped yelling, wasn’t barking, but sounded disappointed.
Love let out a deep breath, stood directly across from me at the island, and placed his hands on top.
“What if somethin’ happened to you?” he asked low. “What if he snapped while you were sitting there?”
I paused for a second. “He wouldn’t have—”
“You don’t know that, Islah. You already see that nigga moving like a nigga you don’t know, so what the fuck difference do a fuckin’ lunch make?”
The kitchen got quiet after that. The only thing that filled the space was the stove popping behind me and both of us breathing hard.
Until we heard Amir open his bedroom door and both our heads turned instantly.
Amir looked between us before focusing on Love.
“You good, Dad?” he asked carefully.
Love closed his eyes for a second and exhaled hard through his nose before nodding.
“Yeah son, me and Islah just talking.”
Amir looked at me next. I gave him a small smile to ease the tension.
“We’re good, luv.”
He stood there for another second like he was tryin’ to read the room, then nodded slow and went back in his room.
Once the door shut, Love grabbed the back of his neck.
“What’s really pissing me off,” he muttered. “Is that I’m trying to build a life with you, love on you, protect you. Fuck it, I want to give you the world, Islah, and I can’t do that if behind the scenes you’re moving like you’re still single with my fuckin’ rock on your hand.”