2. Searching
Searching
Everybody in Kenya’s house stared at me once that line went dead.
“Where is she at?” Kenya asked.
I shook my head.
“Come on, nigga, what is the move?” Keith asked.
I shook my head again.
I didn’t know what to do, what move I needed to make first. That nigga hit me in a weak spot I have never been hit in before, and I didn’t know how to carry it.
I stared back at them for a second with no thought coming to my mind, just Islah’s face, her smile, her touch, my baby in her stomach.
“Yo!” Keith yelled out, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Nigga, what the fuck are we gonna do?! This nigga has Islah; this is not the time for you to fall the fuck back! You need to get the fuck out of your head and get your wife back!”
That’s why Keith was my right hand; that nigga got my blood boiling again.
I looked at my niggas.
“Come on,” I said, walking toward the door.
“Love!” Kenya yelled out behind me.
I stopped in my tracks, thinking she might have something to add that might lead us to that nigga.”
“Bring our girl home,” Kenya said softly.
I nodded, feeling where they was all coming from.
We left out of Kenya’s house and hit the city immediately. None of us needed to speak on which side of town to go on; we already had an idea and hit the south side, checking all the lil’ ducked-off places I knew he was at before, and where he could have been.
We pulled through each parking lot slow, looking for something that would stand out to me, a nigga in the window, a car parked like it was in a rush, maybe even a car with outta state tags.
I had nothing to go off, so anything that made the hairs on my arms stand up, I was on it. We rode through five different run-down motels and didn’t spot nothing but some cracked out niggas on the corner with some bitches that were tryna fuck for a quick twenty dollas.
After that, we drove to the gas station where the YN seen him before and pulled up a picture, asking the owner if they had seen him there recently, but again, nothing.
When that shit didn’t pan out with anything, I started to get desperate. We rode down every block, asking anybody outside if they had seen a nigga that looked like him.
Frustration was growing in my chest with each passing no.
No more panic, no confusion, just irritation building to the top of disappointment.
Sammy finally spoke up while we were parked at a red light.
“You want to keep doing this block-to-block shit, or you want to move like you’re supposed to?”
I turned my head slightly.
“What the fuck that mean?”
He looked out of the window. “That means you moving like you forgot who you were again, that you don’t have to be hunting the nigga down.”
“That nigga is still here,” Keith voiced. “We just have to figure out what side of town, cause it damn sure is not the south side.”
I leaned back in the seat, jaw tight, watching the lights turn green, and we started moving again while Sammy’s words sat in the air.
Moving like I forgot who I was.
I didn’t respond right away because it wasn’t even about pride. It was about the fact that he went ghost in a city that didn’t nobody know him, with my wife.
“So what we finna do?” Sammy asked. “Keep guessing, or pay niggas to do the guessing and the seeking for you?”
I didn’t respond.
We kept driving around. I showed his picture to random people, asking if they had seen him, and kept coming up short.
All damn day, I continued to come up short, until it was fuckin’ dark out, and even though my niggas didn’t say it, I could tell that they were irritated.
I picked up some carry-out for Amir and me, and we went back to the crib.
The ride to the crib was quiet. It felt different from how it did earlier.
I felt defeated, even though it had only been hours. I wanted my girl home where she belonged.
Once we got to the crib, my niggas hopped out. They all dapped me up, each telling me to stay cool, we were going to find her, she can hold her own. Before they hopped in their car and pulled off, all that shit was easy to say but hard as fuck to do.
I walked into the house and found Katie and Amir waiting in the living room. Amir ran over to me, hugging me and taking the food out of my hand.
“Is Islah okay?” he asked.” I looked at him and couldn’t say yes or no. “We will talk about it later.”
Amir walked off, digging fries out of the bag while I sat on the couch beside Katie.
“Is everything okay, cousin?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Her ex took her.”
Katie gasped.
“I don’t know where the fuck he is hiding around here. I went by a bunch of motels and came up short. I…I need my girl home.”
Katie pulled me into her arms and hugged me.
“Damn, cousin, I am sorry that you are going through some crazy ass shit.”
I chuckled under my breath. “Yeah…that nigga don’t know how far I will take things over that girl.”
Katie pulled away from me.
“Cool out, cousin, remember you have a son.”
I nodded. “Living, dead, or in jail, that nigga will forever be straight. I am getting my girl back by any means.”
Katie stared at me like I caught her off guard with that shit. I know she ain’t ever heard me go crazy over somebody before; the difference with that was I put a ring on Islah.
“I hear you, cousin, I’ma get home, but I want you to be safe.”
I walked her to the door, gave her a hug, then went into the kitchen with Amir. He was almost done with his food by the time I got in there. I grabbed my food and busted the bag open, taking a few bites of the fries.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Amir nodded. “Yes, and no. I am worried about Islah.”
I exhaled slow. “I know, I—”
“What is going on, Dad?” he asked, cutting me off.
I looked at my food for a bit, knowing the words I was about to say, no ten-year-old should hear, but I knew I was about to be busy until she was found.
“Islah has an ex that don’t want to let her go. He is mad that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore.”
Amir looked around, making the face he did when he was thinking.
“So what did he do with her? Is she with him?”
I nodded. “Yeah, he took her, and he won’t let her go or tell me where she’s at.”
Amir took a sip of his drink and smiled at me.
“You will get her back.”
That caught me off guard. His confidence was on a thousand.
“Why you say it like that?”
Amir threw his trash away, then walked over, placing his hand on my shoulders.
“Because you are Love, and you don’t let people overstep, and he overstepped.”
I nodded, agreeing with Amir.
“You know I’ma have to leave you with Katie or Islah’s girls until I can find him to make sure you are safe while I am looking for her.”
“Yeah, but it’s okay. I want you to find Islah.”
After I ate, I made sure Amir got ready for bed while my nigga was blowing up my phone, asking if I wanted anybody to find him, but that nigga was my burden to bury.
After I turned all the lights off in the house and made it to my room, I looked at Islah’s side of the bed, and damn near wanted to cry. I felt like a piece of me was missing.
But instead of crying, a nigga didn’t really let tears fall. I took that anger and bottled it up inside of me, just to make sure that when I catch that nigga—cause with everything in my body, I knew I was gonna catch that nigga—all that anger he caused me, my people, my girl, he was gonna feel it.
After the move he made, the only choice I had was to make sure he died in the worst way—I wasn’t gonna miss this time.