Chapter 17
The A
My drive to Atlanta was long, but not bad. I made several overnight stops along the way, and as soon as I touched down, I felt different. Not in a bad way, just a feeling of coming off autopilot.
I rolled down my windows as I drove through downtown and almost died. The air was thicker than Cali and heavier, like it sat on your skin instead of brushing past. It wasn’t loud like LA, but it wasn’t quiet either; everybody seemed so busy, unlike Cali, where everybody was more relaxed.
I pulled over to a lil’ soul food spot I saw on my way to my new place, hopped out of my car, and stretched, looking up at the tall buildings around me before walking inside.
Some niggas were eyeing me as I stood in line. They smirked at me, and I smiled back for some reason, feeling nervous as hell.
Not scared, just aware of my surroundings.
I shifted my weight a lil’, crossing my arms as the line moved. The smell in there was so good: grease, seasoning, something sweet in the air too. It wrapped around you as soon as you walked through the door, and I needed it.
“Damn…” I muttered under my breath.
A nigga walked in after me and kept scooting closer to me. Not too close, just enough.
“You new out here?” he asked from behind.
I turned and glanced at him. “Is it that obvious?”
He chuckled. “A lil’ bit, being that I’m always in here and never seen you before.”
I smirked. “Yeah, I just got here from Cali.”
He looked at me, shocked a lil’ bit. “Well, welcome to the A,” he said. “You picked the right spot for your first meal.”
“I hope so,” I said, stepping up as it was my turn to order.
I kept it simple: fried chicken, greens, mac and cheese, and corn bread. I paid for it and watched them bag it up. As I turned to walk out, the nigga behind me smiled.
“I hope I see you again.”
I blushed. “Maybe you will.”
I made sure to put an extra switch in step as I walked back out to my car, hopped in, started my GPS back up, and pulled off.
When I got to my building, I sat in front for a second. My heart was really racing with different emotions.
“This is it, Islah,” I mumbled to myself. “It’s no turning back now.”
I exhaled, grabbed my purse, my food, and a few other things before walking inside. The lobby was nice, clean, and smelled like money a lil’ bit. It was an older black lady at the front desk, smiling at me as if she had been waiting for me.
“You must be Islah,” she said.
I nodded. “Yeah, I am.”
She placed a booklet on the counter, along with my keys and a lil’ basket that had wine, cheese, and a few other things in it.
“I would like to welcome you to the Hunter Lofts and to Atlanta.”
“Thank you so much,” I said with a smile.
I walked around to the elevator and took it to the tenth floor, and walked down a long hall to my door. Once I reached it, I put the key in, twisted it, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes before I walked in. But when I did, my breath was taken away. The pictures didn’t do it justice.
I walked in, shutting the door behind me. I placed my bags on the floor, my purse and food on the counter, and walked over to the four large windows that covered one wall of my loft and looked over the city.
“I did it,” I said to myself.
I went and got my food and sat on the floor, fucking it up as I stared out the window, thinking to myself about what was next. I was ready—ready to get my life back together and put myself first.
After I ate, I walked back down to my car and my trailer that was attached with some of my shit. I was on point with my planning and delivery times because while I was out there getting lil’ shit, my big furniture pulled up.
I was so thankful to those nice, strong men, cause after a lil’ bit of flirting, not only did my bed frame, dressers, and side tables get put together, my trailer got unloaded without me having to lift a finger.
I stood there for a second after they left, and the silence wrapped around me. I walked around looking at everything: my living room set, my bedroom set, and boxes that I had everywhere. The place was a mess, but it was okay; it was my mess.
I kicked my shoes off and got right to it, wasting no time opening boxes, folding clothes, and hanging things up.
My music hummed around me low, bouncing off the walls as I sang along.
Hours passed, and I barely noticed. I was moving off pure energy at that point, running on adrenaline and the want to feel at home.
By the time I slowed down, everything wasn’t down, but it was enough, enough for me to breathe.
I took a break and stood back with my hands on my hips, looking around.
I nodded to myself; my home was coming along.
I went and took a quick shower, letting the hot water hit my back, trying to wash off the long ass drive, the nerves, and the past few weeks I had been having. I wanted it all gone. Wishing I had a reset button.
When I stepped outta the shower, I put on one of my oversized shirts and slid into my new bed for the first time.
I was looking for something to watch when it hit me, like really hit me. That I was single, alone, and in a new city. I stared at the ceiling, the city lights peeking through the window, casting a slight shadow across the room.
And just like that…
Gio.
My chest tightened before I could even stop it. I looked to my right—a whole bed to myself. No arm pulling me closer. It had been weeks since I’ve felt it, and I should have been used to sleeping alone, but this time felt different.
I turned to my side, grabbed my pillow, and hugged it a lil’ tighter than I needed to.
“This is what you wanted, Islah, it’s what needed to happen,” I whispered, reminding myself.
I was away from Gio and free to move how I wanted, but for some reason, it still hurt.
The next morning, I was up early. I sat up, stretched, and looked around my room. A small smile crept on my face.
I got up, made myself something quick to eat, and took my time getting dressed for work.
My nerves were so bad that my hands were shaking as I tried to apply my makeup, tie up my hair, anything.
I was just about done with my morning struggle when I heard my phone ding.
I looked down beside me, and it was a message from my momma.
Mom: Have a good day, baby. Your father and I are so proud of you. You got this!
I smiled and instantly calmed down. I grabbed my keys and my bag and looked around my place to see if I forgot anything and left out.
The hallway was quiet. I pressed the button and waited for the elevator. When the door finally opened, I stepped in and caught my reflection in the mirror.
My scrubs fit right, my hair was laid, my lip gloss shining. I looked good through all my nerves.
The ride to the hospital gave me time to really take in Atlanta. The traffic was different, the people moved different, and even the way they drove felt more aggressive. I turned my music up and tried to vibe out while learning my surroundings.
By the time I pulled into the parking garage, that nervous feeling hit me again. Not overwhelming, just enough to make me turn down the music and focus on my breathing.
I parked, grabbed my shit, and took one more deep breath before I hopped out.
“You got this, you are that bitch,” I said to myself.
I walked into the hospital, and it didn’t take long for all the feelings I had to ease up.
I stood at the floorboard, trying to figure out where I needed to go when I heard “Islah?” coming from behind me.
“Yes, that’s me.”
The woman smiled big while holding her hand out.
“I’m Kendra. I work in HR and was asked to meet you today.”
I nodded as I shook her hand.
“Okay, cool. Thank you, because I’m already lost.”
She laughed as we walked to the elevator. “Girl, I understand. We are on the ER side, floor 5 will take you to where we need to be.”
The elevator doors slid open, and we stepped in. I stood there quietly while she pressed the button, my eyes flicking toward my reflection in the mirror for a second before I looked away.
“You nervous?” she asked, glancing at me.
“I am a lil’ bit,” I admitted. “But I’m ready.”
She nodded. “Nerves are good. You are about to be thrown into the thick of things, but you’ll be ready. Another thing I need to add… we don’t baby anybody around here.”
I smirked. “I wouldn’t want you to.”
That made her laugh.
“Oou, I like you already.”
The doors opened, and as soon as we stepped out, the energy was different.
Not chaotic, just steady.
Nurses moving with a purpose, call lights going off here and there, conversations low but constant. It felt controlled and routine.
I took it all in without saying too much.
“Come on,” Kendra said, guiding me toward the desk. “Let me get you checked in and introduce you.”
She spoke to a few people behind the desk, letting them know who I was. I caught a couple of glances, some quick smiles, some just acknowledging me before going back to what they were doing.
“Alright,” she said, turning back to me. “You are good from here. I’ll let them take over.”
“Thank you,” I responded.
“No problem, welcome again.” She smiled before walking off.
I watched her go for a second before turning back around.
A woman sitting at the desk looked up at me over her glasses.
“You the transfer?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m Islah.”
“I’m Renee,” she replied, standing up. “Come on, I’ll walk you through a few things.”
Renee wasn’t big on talking; she showed me what I needed to know without dragging it out. Where supplies were, how they liked things charted, and who to go to for what.
It wasn’t overwhelming, just straight to the point, but I followed along and took notes when I needed to.
“You got experience?” she asked.
I gave her a look. “Yeah, I moved from one hospital to here.”
She smirked at me. “Good, we don’t babysit.”
I nodded with a smirk myself. “Oh, I heard.”
“Well, you can just jump in then; the load is light today, so just ease into it.”