Chapter 24
Unsure
Ihad to fall back from Love after that run-in with his baby mama. I threw myself back into work like that was supposed to fix it. Long shifts, extra hours with my girls, anything to keep my mind from drifting back to him.
It didn’t matter, though. Love still sat heavy on me.
And Gio?
He didn’t stop either.
Different numbers, back-to-back calls, voicemails, I blocked every last one of them. It got to the point where my phone barely rang from people I actually talked to, and it was all him.
I never answered, but it was exhausting. My mask that I was hiding behind finally broke, and my girls noticed something was wrong as soon as I walked into the locker room to get ready for my shift.
“What’s wrong, Islah?” Deja asked.
“Yeah, you’ve been down all week,” Kenya added.
I shrugged, thought I was hiding it well, but I guess I wasn’t. “Nothing, I’m okay.”
“No, you are not,” Renee chimed in, “You have been quiet, haven’t been wanting to go out with us. Tell us what it is.”
I let out a breath and sat on the bench.
“Part of it is Love, the other part is my ex.”
That got all their attention.
“What happened?” Deja asked.
“Last week, when I was off, his BM showed up at his store, he put her out. Then while we were sleeping, she let herself into his house and tried to fight me while we were sleeping.”
All their mouths dropped.
“Are you serious?” Kenya asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, it was a whole scene. After I whooped her ass and he put her out, I just left and haven’t talked to him since.”
Kenya sucked her teeth. “To be real with you, I forgot he had a BM. She did go crazy when they first broke up. She was trippin’ on IG.”
I shook my head. “Well, she still trippin’ over him.”
“What did he say about it?” Deja asked.
“He left me a voicemail sayin’ that he took care of it, that I didn’t have to worry about her again.”
They all looked at me.
“And what do you think about that?” Deja questioned.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I want to trust him, but she’s crazy.”
“What about Gio?” Kenya chimed in.
“That nigga keep callin’, from text now numbers. He’s just annoying.”
“Man, if you don’t tell Love to get his niggas on Gio’s ass!” Deja voiced.
I laughed. “Gio is harmless; he will fall off sooner or later.”
We finished getting changed and walked out to the floor. Before I could get my shift started, I got buzzed to the nurse’s station for flowers that were delivered. I looked at the note and smiled to myself.
I’m not letting up
—Love
Kenya looked over my shoulder and read it for herself.
“You haven’t talked to him, and he’s still sending you shit? Girl, take him back.”
I laughed, shrugged my shoulders, and got to work.
My day was moving smooth. My patients were cool for the most part, some even had me laughing. It was almost time for my lunch break when I got buzzed at the nurse’s station again.
I walked up there, thinking that he sent me lunch, but I froze halfway up the hallway when I saw Love standing there waiting for me.
I walked up to him, and he handed me a bag of food.
“Thank you,” I said softly. “What are you doing here?”
I looked him up and down, and he was dressed clean, smelled good, and his braids were freshly done.
“I missed you,” he said softly.
I took his arm and pulled him around the corner outta earshot of the other nurses.
“Love, I think we need to take a break from seeing each other. I understand that you fixed shit with your BM, but that shit was still a lot.”
He didn’t even blink when I said that, he just stood there lookin’ at me, calm as ever, like I didn’t just put some distance between us and whatever he wanted us to be.
“A break?” he repeated, low.
I nodded. “Yeah…. I just got out of shit with my ex. I don’t want to deal with shit with yours, Love.”
He stepped a lil’ closer to me, not to crowd me, just enough for me to smell his cologne.
“I hear you, mamas,” he said. “I do.”
I was expecting him to argue me down, to push a lil’ harder or something, but he didn’t.
“But you are not walking away from me like that,” he added, his voice still even.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “You sound just like my ex.”
He laughed. “I might, but with me, I mean what I say. I want to build with you, and that mad bitch is not gonna stop that.”
I shook my head. “You don’t get it.”
“Nah,” he said, cutting me off. “You don’t get it. We are not taking a break over shit I have handled. She would never come near you again, and I put that on my son.”
The way he said that made my stomach twist. Not scared, but a feelin’ came over me that he wasn’t playin’.
“You can’t control her tho, Love.”
“You’re right, I can’t. But I can control what’s around me, and I did.”
I went quiet.
He watched me for a second, then reached out slow, like he was giving me time to pull away.
I didn’t.
“You can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about me, or us.”
I went silent again, that’s most all that’s been on my mind.
I shook my head. “You are making this harder than it has to be.”
“Nah, he said. “I’m not, you are makin’ it harder because you are scared.”
That hit a nerve.
‘I’m not scared of shit, Love,” I shot back.
“You are, you are scared of what comes with me,” he shot back.
He was slowly starting to press my buttons.
“And what all comes with you, Love? A baby mama that break into your house and can’t let go of the past.”
He didn’t flinch; he smiled.
“I’ma nigga that’s gonna stand by you, protect you, provide for you, and don’t fold when shit gets real.”
“And the rest?”
He paused for a second. “Any issues will always be handled in a timely manner; you will never have to fight my battles, but I will fight yours.”
I looked at my watch, it was getting buzzed.
“Give me some time, Love,” I said as I walked away.
“I will see you later,” he said back.
I didn’t even have time to question him.
I went back to work, helped my girls with a patient who was coding, then we went to lunch, and I told them what happened with Love.
They each voiced their options, but all agreed they loved the way Love stepped. And I couldn’t lie, I liked it too.
I finished my shift and went straight home. My girls wanted me to go out to drinks with them, but I just wanted to chill alone.
Once I got home, I took a shower, changed into an old T-shirt, slid on my granny panties, and went to the kitchen.
I had the music playin’, and my glass of wine poured, fixing me a ramen bowl when I had a knock at my door.
I picked up my glass, went to the door, and when I opened it, I froze for the second time that day because of Love.
He was standing there with weed, a bottle of wine, some more flowers, a teddy bear, and a few Gucci shopping bags.
“Are you serious?” I asked, trying not to smile.
He steeped inside like what he was doing was normal.
“I told you I would see you later.”
I closed the door behind him, shaking my head.
“You don’t listen.”
“I listen,” he said, setting everything down. “I just don’t accept shit that don’t make sense.”
I folded my arms. “Me needing space don’t make sense to you?”
He walked closer to me.
“I already spoke my case.”
I let out a deep breath. “You don’t know if it’s even fixed.”
“I do,” he said, placing his hand on my hip. “You just need to trust me.”
I looked at him, really looked deep into his eyes.
“And if I don’t?”
He already knew where I was going with my question, and he smiled.
“Then, until you do, I will show you why you should.”
My stomach flipped.
“You are doing a lot,” I said, looking slightly into the bags he brought in.”
“I ain’t even started yet, mamas,” he responded.
I walked over to my dinner, making sure I wasn’t fuckin’ shit up, and he followed me with a Gucci bag in his hand, placing it on the counter across from me.
“Open it,” he said.
I finished stirring my noodles and did.
“You can’t buy me to fix things.”
He smirked. “I’m glad I can’t, I wasn’t trying to.”
I put my spoon down.
“Then what are you doin’?”
He leaned against the counter. “Showing you that I’m not letting you walk away easy from something real.”
My chest tightened again.
“I have my own shit I need to work through. I don’t know if I can handle all of this.”
“I know you do, and I was sent to help you.”
Silence filled the room for a second. I thought about sayin’ no, I really did. But the way he was standing there, the way he didn’t waver, the way he kept showin’ me that he wasn’t gonna switch up…I couldn’t let go.
I exhaled slow.
“You don’t make shit easy,” I muttered.
“I’m not supposed to,” he said. “You are worth it.”
“Fine,” I said with a smirk, trying not to blush.
He walked around the counter and pulled me into his arms.
“That’s all I needed to hear. I think you’re ready,” he stated.
“For what?”
He pulled back, licked his lips like he was hesitant to say it.
“For me to apply real pressure.”
Most of the time, if I heard a nigga say some shit like that, I would doubt every syllable. But with Love, I was learning that doubting him was something I shouldn’t do.