Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
EVERLY
Thankfully, Addison and I were within half a shoe size of each other, so I was able to borrow a pair of hers for our shopping excursion to replenish my necessities.
And Luna, Brady’s girlfriend, had sent over some clothes with Addison since we were about the same size.
I’d slipped into a pair of her leggings but opted to wear one of Beck’s T-shirts instead of any she’d offered.
I wasn’t too proud to admit the flimsy piece of cotton comforted me in a way I needed as I went out on a mission in borrowed clothes to replace my belongings.
Also thankfully, Addison was like a tornado.
She flew through stores, barking orders and making demands, and because she was Starlight Cove’s golden child and she gave those orders with a smile, people willingly did her bidding.
I had no idea how she did it. I felt like I was still trying to win people over in town, even after two years, and that was with an always-ready smile.
But regardless of how she did it, I was grateful for her.
I was grateful for a lot of things today—that I’d escaped from the fire, that Chuckanut had made it out with me, and that neither of us had any lasting injuries. I was also overwhelmingly grateful for Beck—Beck’s whole family, actually, but him specifically.
Before Addison and I had left, I’d realized I didn’t have my purse, which meant I didn’t have any money or even a credit card to pay for what I needed, and I’d panicked.
As usual, Beck had immediately read me without my having to say a word.
With his eyes locked on mine, he’d pulled out his wallet, handed his credit card to Addison, and then said, just loud enough for me to hear, “Whatever you need.”
And then, as if to balance things out and prove he wasn’t a gigantic marshmallow, he’d thrust a bottle of water at me as Addison and I were walking out the door and yelled after us, “And don’t forget to eat, for fuck’s sake!”
Addison had rolled her eyes, but I’d smiled, so relieved that the Beck I knew and loved was still there, despite what had happened between us.
It hadn’t changed us—I just had to remember that.
He was still my best friend. Still my touch point in Starlight Cove.
And no matter what happened, I didn’t want to lose that.
Now, Addison pulled up in front of our last stop and parked.
Main Street was fairly busy today even though it was the middle of the week, no doubt because it was a beautiful day.
That meant plenty of people strolled by, and every single one wanted to stop us and tell me how shocked they were to hear what had happened and ask if I was okay.
Every time, I’d plaster a smile on my face and pretend like I wasn’t completely crumbling inside at having to relive it with every mention.
“Last one,” Addison said, grabbing her purse.
“Oh, thank God.” My shoulders slumped. “I don’t think I can take much more.”
She reached over and rested her hand on my arm, stopping me from unbuckling my seat belt. “Why don’t you sit this one out? I’ve got it.”
I blew out a huge sigh of relief and shot her a grateful smile.
Apparently, Addison was as perceptive as her brother.
Either that or I looked every ounce as exhausted as I felt.
It took a lot for me to break, but after recounting the worst night of my life over and over and over again, I was ready to crack.
All the small—and not-so-small things—that needed to be done had also started piling up in my mind, and I’d been keeping a mental tally of everything I needed to do as we were running around replacing all my possessions.
Luckily, I’d had a voice mail waiting for me this morning from April, my assistant-slash-receptionist, saying she’d seen the news—on Facebook, naturally—and that she’d take care of rescheduling our appointments until we knew more.
Like, if I still had a business or not.
“Thank you,” I said earnestly to Addison as I grabbed my phone from where I’d stashed it in the cupholder. “I still need to call my parents and let them know what happened.”
Addison grimaced. “Will that be an easy or a difficult call?”
I must not have been able to keep the cringe to myself, because she nodded without my having to say a word.
“Got it. In that case, I think I’ll swing by the bakery to grab two donuts. Maybe three…”
“Is that for just me or both of us?”
Addison gasped and snapped her head in my direction. “Both of us, obviously. I deserve donuts too.”
I laughed. “You definitely do, but in that case, make it four.”
Her smile widened as she opened the door and stepped out. “I like how you think.”
As she strode toward the sidewalk, dodging passersby like she was on an obstacle course, I lowered my gaze to my phone and pulled up my mom’s number—it took an act of God for my dad to answer his phone, mostly because he could never find the thing.
And if he could find it, he couldn’t figure out how to use it.
I’d been putting this off all day, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as I pressed the call button.
After one and a half rings, my mom answered, “Honey! I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today. Don’t tell me I got my days wrong again. Is it Sunday already? You know how it is with retirement.”
“I know, Mom. All the days bleed together,” I said, reciting the same phrase she’d said to me no fewer than twelve thousand times. “And no, it’s not Sunday. It’s Wednesday, but I have something important I need to tell you. Is Dad around?”
“Oh yes, he’s just tinkering with his model cars.
I’ll grab him.” She moved the phone away from her mouth but not far enough that it saved me from the earsplitting yell as she called for him.
“Harry! Evie’s on the phone. She’s got something to tell us.
” Then, quieter but still loud enough for me to hear, she said, “Maybe she’s finally moving home! ”
I closed my eyes, knowing that last night’s catastrophe was only going to embolden them further in their quest to get me back to the West Coast, and I wasn’t sure I was up for that particular confrontation today.
Honestly, I was never up for that particular confrontation, which was probably why my stomach churned every Sunday until I got our weekly call over with.
“Okay, honey, your dad’s right next to me. Are you still there?”
“I’m here. Hey, Dad.”
“Hi, angel. So, what’s this all about?”
“Some exciting news, perhaps?” my mom said, her smile carrying through in her voice.
“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it exciting. But news? Yes.” I cleared my throat, wincing at the sting, and closed my eyes, knowing it was best to rip it off like a bandage. “Aunt Shirley’s house caught on fire last night.”
As predicted, my mom gasped loudly enough that the neighbors probably heard her, and my dad said, “What’d she say? Did she say there was a fire?”
“Oh my heavens. Are you okay?” Mom’s voice rose with every word. “What happened? Did Chuckanut make it out? Where are you staying?”
“One at a time, Mom.”
She expelled a deep breath, then asked, “Chuckanut?”
“She’s fine.” I’d only seen her briefly when Addison and I had left.
She’d been soaking up the sun and the attention of everyone on the diner’s patio, so she barely paid me any mind when I’d buried my face in her neck and squeezed, realizing that Ford was an absolute saint.
Not only had he watched her for me last night when I couldn’t take her with me to the hospital, but he’d also bathed her so only the faint hint of smoke lingered.
“And you?” Mom asked, her voice shaking. “Are you okay, honey?”
“I’m fine, too, Mom,” I said, but my voice cracked, and she heard right through it.
I wouldn’t call losing my home—and possibly my business—being fine, but what else could I be?
“Oh, honey, I know this must be so awful for you.” She tutted. “But maybe it’s for the best.”
I sucked in a sharp breath, blinking through the shock of what she’d just said, the crack in my chest growing a bit wider at her words.
While I knew she didn’t mean for them to come off as dismissive, that was exactly how they had.
I definitely got my sunny disposition from her, but there was such a thing as toxic positivity, and my mom was teeming with it.
Sometimes when catastrophe struck, people didn’t want to hear that everything happened for a reason or that maybe it was for the best. No, maybe it just sucked ass.
“That didn’t come out how I meant it,” she said. “I just mean that now you have nothing left. Nothing holding you there.”
I huffed out a disbelieving laugh and shook my head, so tired of having this conversation with her.
Without fail, she’d mention it every single week on our phone calls, and every week, I felt like I was disappointing them over and over again by not going home.
But by going home, I’d feel like I was disappointing Aunt Shirley. I couldn’t win.
“Except for the life I’ve built here over the past couple years,” I said.
My mom huffed, her disapproval loud and clear. “Oh, your brother told us all about that life. I didn’t realize that fellow you’ve been telling us all about was such a…” She sniffed. “Well, I’m not going to repeat the word your brother called him, but I’m sure you can use your imagination.”
I closed my eyes and dropped my head back against the seat.
Of course Ash would report back to my parents about his encounter with Beck and then scurry off to Jamaica like the coward he was so I couldn’t lay into him.
“Well, did he also tell you that the reason they even spoke was because Beck was at my house, fixing the things I tried to pay someone else to do? Or that the only way I remember to eat half the time is because he makes sure I do, even when I’m swamped?
Or that he’s the one person here who’s made this place feel like home? ”
My mom tsked. “Oh, honey. If he’s really the only person who’s made Starlight Cove feel like home, isn’t that more proof that you don’t belong there?
You belong home, here, with us. With your family.
The people who will love and support you through this while you figure out what you want to do next. ”
And that was the kicker—I didn’t know what I wanted to do next.
I’d crafted a life based on other people’s expectations—from my love for animals that had bloomed because my parents sent me to stay with my aunt over the summers, to the school I chose on the West Coast to stay close to family.
Even moving to Starlight Cove had been because someone else had made the decision for me, and I’d done what was expected.
Who even was I without everyone else’s expectations tied to me like strings?
While my mom’s intentions were pure—she just wanted me closer because she loved me—I knew what would happen if I went back home, because it was the same thing that always happened.
I’d do what they thought I should, with little to no regard or care as to if I actually wanted to, because that was who I was.
A people pleaser to my core, especially when it came to my parents.
Yes, I was thirty years old, and yes, it was ridiculous, but it was what it was.
And at least I was aware of it enough now to be able to avoid it.
But I wouldn’t be able to avoid it forever.
Addison opened the car door and slid into her seat, holding up a large bakery bag and shooting me a grin. I tried to smile back, but it must have come off more like a grimace because her eyes softened.
Before I could tell my mom—once again—I wasn’t planning on moving back to Washington, she cut in, “So, when’s your flight back?” And the hopeful note in her voice dropped another boulder into my already churning stomach.
“Mom,” I said softly, shifting my attention out the passenger window. “I’m not moving back home.”
“Right now, you mean.”
No, I meant I wasn’t moving home, period, but I couldn’t handle opening up that can of worms and dealing with the fallout of that conversation after everything else.
I thought that my moving here, thousands of miles away, meant I’d get a reprieve from that ever-present pit in my stomach over the thought of disappointing my parents.
But it’d somehow gotten worse, the guilt like an unwanted houseguest who just wouldn’t leave.
So instead of correcting her and reiterating my stance, I just said, “Right. Not right now.”
“Well, your old room is here and ready for you whenever you come back, angel,” my dad said, loud enough to be heard over a freight train, and I pulled my phone away from my ear with a cringe.
I’d tried to tell him a hundred times he didn’t need to yell if they were on speakerphone, but it never seemed to get through.
“Great, thank you,” I said, desperate to end the call. “I have to go—my phone’s about to die. But I’ll call you both on Sunday. Love you.”
I didn’t wait to hear their responses before I ended the call and dropped my phone back into the cupholder.
“Since your battery says it’s at seventy-two percent, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you’re having parent woes,” Addison said.
“Something like that.”
“You want to talk about it? I’m no Beck, but I won’t growl or bark at you, so that’s something.”
I huffed out a laugh before the smile slowly slipped from my mouth. “They just haven’t accepted that I live here. And now, after the fire, they’re assuming I’m moving back.”
Addison’s brows lifted. “Are you?”
“No!” The answer came out automatically, but as she stared at me, clearly trying to gauge if I was leaving something unsaid, I wondered if that was true.
My mom had a point—my family was three thousand miles away. The only person I’d made a solid connection with in this town was Beck, and who knew if what had happened this morning would screw that up. Even though I’d been here for years, I still didn’t quite feel like I fit.
But I also didn’t want to leave.
I’d loved this town since I was a little girl.
I loved the festivals and the colorful residents.
I loved that I didn’t have to lock my doors and could walk on the beach at midnight if I wanted to.
I loved that the people here looked out for their own.
Case in point, the bags currently filling up the back seat of Addison’s car with very little use of Beck’s credit card.
But were those reasons enough for me to stay?