Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
AVERY
I was doing it. Living the life I’d wanted since I was a little girl. Experiencing all the things I’d spent years dreaming about. Traveling to places around the world I never thought I’d see.
So it should’ve felt better than this, right?
If it was something I wanted so bad—badly enough that I’d given up everything for it—why had I spent the entire time I’d been gone thinking about what I’d left behind rather than what was in front of me?
Not even the wow factor of walking onto Claude’s impressive jet, with its luxurious leather seats and an entertainment system to rival any mansion’s, had taken my mind off Aiden.
Nothing had, including my daunting first days on the job.
Since private flight attendants didn’t have to go through the same protocols those in the public sector did, and because of how quickly Claude wanted me on board, my training had been significantly condensed.
I’d had an accelerated course focusing on just the essentials—safety protocols, emergency procedures, and all the basic shit I’d need to be able to do my job.
Once I’d finished that, Margo had joined us—broken leg and all—on my first few flights to ensure I ran things how Claude wanted them and didn’t fuck up.
And through it all, through takeoffs and landings, through overnight stays in London, Monaco, and Budapest, I’d felt restless. Unsettled. And absolutely, one hundred percent untethered.
In my fantasy world, I’d be exploring the sights of all these amazing places I traveled to. Soaking in the cultures, relishing in the delicious food, and learning the experiences of others.
In reality, I saw the inside of a very nice private jet and the four walls of my hotel room, and that was it.
I mean, it was a nice hotel room. A really fucking nice hotel room—the exact kind you would expect a billionaire to reserve.
But it was still just a room. Just a generic place to call home before I jetted off to somewhere else I wouldn’t be able to explore.
It wasn’t the soft flannel sheets beneath me or the furnace of a man at my back or his softly murmured words in my ear that I’d become used to. That I’d come to crave.
It just…wasn’t enough.
After a whirlwind ten days, I was on my first break, back in my childhood home in Maine, and restless in a way I wasn’t sure how to fix. I’d just finished making my sad little dinner of boxed mac and cheese when my phone rang with an incoming FaceTime call from Willow.
Her smiling face filled the screen as soon as I answered.
“Oh, thank God. I was worried you were too fancy to answer my calls, Miss Jet-Setter. Now tell me everything! Is it amazing? What’s it like?
Do you ever get to enjoy the flights? Like, sit on those seats that look nicer than my furniture?
Or are you always—” She cut off, her brows snapping down as her eyes darted around my face.
“What’s wrong?” With how it came out, it was less of a question and more of a demand.
I shifted in my seat, spooning a bite of mac and cheese and avoiding her eyes. “What? Nothing.”
Willow just sat there, staring me down. “Did you forget who you were talking to? I’m not just anybody, you know.”
She wasn’t. She was one of the best people in my life, someone who had the uncanny ability to listen to problems without judgment and help figure them out.
But how could I voice what the problem was?
How could I tell her that after not even two weeks, I was ready to give up on this dream I’d had for more than a decade?
“Avery?” she said, her voice softer now. “Seriously… What’s going on?”
I stared down at my bowl of mac and cheese and shook my head. “I think I really fucked up.”
“With the job? I’m sure it’s not nearly as bad—”
“Not with the job. The job is…fine.”
Willow’s brows flew up, her wide eyes fixed on me. “Fine? We are talking about you flying all over the world in a billionaire’s private jet, right?”
I laughed then, a sound that bordered on hysterical, and shook my head. “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? This should be exactly what I wanted. It’s supposed to be exactly what I wanted. But I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something.”
Willow was quiet for long moments. Then, quietly, she said, “Something? Or someone?”
I huffed out a breath, not at all surprised to feel the sharp sting of tears in my eyes, the lump in my throat. “How do you do that?”
She shrugged and shot me a soft smile. “It’s a gift. Now how about you tell me what’s going on.”
So, I did. I filled her in on everything I’d left out during our chats while I’d been in Starlight Cove.
Even though I’d shared some things regarding Aiden, I hadn’t shared everything.
It had felt like so much was just ours, and I’d wanted to keep it that way.
Keep it safe in our little bubble, where just the two of us could go.
But now, I opened up to her about our time together. How he’d made me feel…cherished. For the first time in my life. How he was nothing like I expected, and everything I never knew I needed.
When I was finished, when I’d poured out everything I was feeling until I felt like a husk, I stared at her with hopeful eyes. Wishing she’d tell me where to go from here.
“You love him.” She said it with such finality, my answer was irrelevant, but I gave her one anyway.
“So much it hurts.”
“You know it doesn’t have to hurt, right?”
“It does when we’re not together.”
“And why aren’t you together again?” she asked, brow raised.
“I just started a new job. I’m finally doing the thing I want to do. And—”
“And it’s boring and hollow and not what you want anymore.”
“No, it’s—”
The look on her face was enough to cut me off. Just that purse of her lips and the quirk of her brow, her arms crossed over her chest as she stared me down, challenging me to contradict her.
“Don’t even try to pretend I’m not right,” she said.
“It’s not what you want anymore. Listening to you talk about that trip y’all took to Vermont?
Where you went to that festival to gather ideas and bring back to the resort?
You got to meet all those people and explore and use that beautiful brain of yours to come up with new ideas.
You were excited and passionate and alive.
That’s the Avery I know. Not whoever this is right here. ”
She was right. Of course she was right.
But I’d left.
I’d bailed without truly giving my life in Starlight Cove a chance because I was scared. Scared of what I’d give up if I didn’t leave. And scared of what I might lose if I stayed.
But I’d lost him anyway, hadn’t I? Not only that, but I’d made that choice for both of us.
“What if he’s already written me off?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. “What if he doesn’t forgive me for leaving?”
“There’s only one way to find out…”
Once I’d made up my mind to go back to Starlight Cove and to Aiden, I couldn’t get there fast enough. It’d already been nearly two weeks, and I was crawling out of my skin to see him again. And I’d been the one who’d left. I couldn’t imagine how he was feeling, having been the one left behind.
I needed to get to him. Immediately. Needed to see him and tell him I screwed up and that I was sorry. So fucking sorry.
But first, I had to get through Addison.
The resort was chaotic, too many people around and none of whom were the ones I was looking for. I’d asked around for Aiden, but no one had seen him, which meant I was going to have to beg my bestie to tell me where he was.
I found her in the back office, shuffling papers in a way that said she was looking for something and needed the answer yesterday.
“Levi, did you get Cottage Thirteen all cleaned—” She lifted her gaze toward the door, her mouth pinching into a tight line when she saw it was me standing there and not her brother. “Oh. It’s you.”
Not the warmest welcome, but I could work with it. At least she wasn’t throwing a stapler at my head.
“Hey…”
She froze for long moments before slamming the papers down and bracing her hands on the desk as she fixed me with a glare. Apparently, I had spoken too soon.
“Hey? Hey? That’s what you have to say after you left like that?
After you bailed on us? On him—” She held up a hand and shook her head.
“You know what? I’m not going to do this.
I can’t talk to you right now, or I’m going to explode into full-on Cuntasaurus Mode, and I swore I wouldn’t do that to you again after that time junior year when you broke the heel on my favorite pair of shoes because you thought it’d be a good idea to wear them on a hiking date with that dumbass from psych. ”
Fuck, she’d been mad then. She hadn’t talked to me for three days. And then she’d only given in because I’d come home with a bag full of her favorite snacks and promised her I’d never borrow anything again without asking.
“In my defense, he didn’t tell me we were going hiking. He told me we were—” At her glare, I rolled my lips in and nodded. “Right. Not the time.”
She turned her attention away from me, dismissing me entirely. “Look, we’re slammed right now. They’re wrapping up the documentary and—”
I gasped, slapping a hand over my mouth as I stared at her with wide eyes, all the pieces clicking into place.
This was the week Addison had blocked out on Aiden’s calendar.
The one I’d promised him I’d cover for so he could go do his famous author thing and have his siblings be none the wiser. The one I’d completely bailed on.
“Oh shit! The— Uh…the thing. That he needed to do. The one I was going to cover for…”
“The very one.”
“Why didn’t anybody call me?”
“Because you quit,” she said, no warmth in her tone. “And because I’m pretty sure my brother would rather eat glass than drag you back from what he thinks is your dream, no matter how you left.”
“Fuck,” I said under my breath, pressing my fingers to my temples.
This was so much worse than I’d thought.
Not only had I left him behind, but I’d flaked out on something he was counting on me for.
Something he’d entrusted me with. But he’d handled it…
let me do what he thought was my dream. What I thought was my dream.
He’d put me first, even when I hadn’t deserved it. Even when it made things more difficult for him. It was exactly what I’d been looking for, and I had it. With Aiden, I had it. And I’d walked away from it like an idiot.
“Yeah, fuck.”
“I know it’s not an excuse, but everything happened so fast,” I said. “My mom called and suddenly I didn’t have a job in January like she’d promised, and then she hit me with this opportunity. The thing I’ve wanted to do my whole life. I didn’t even think—I just left.”
“Yeah. You did,” she said flatly. “And for what? What was so important that you had to leave this behind? That you had to leave me behind? That you had to leave him behind?”
When she put it like that, it didn’t make sense. But that was the thing about hindsight. When you were staring it down, though, facing it head on, things didn’t look so black-and-white.
I bit back my fears, forced down my apprehensions, and told her the truth. “Because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. It was what Aiden and I had agreed on. Three months, nothing more.”
“Well, it was more than that to him.”
“It was more than that to me, too.”
“And yet you still left.”
I swallowed down the lump in my throat and nodded, because I couldn’t deny it.
I had left. But if I hadn’t…if I hadn’t explored the possibility, I would’ve always wondered what would’ve happened if I had.
And that would’ve hung over our heads like a bomb waiting to go off, me always wondering what if…
“I did. But I think I needed to to see what I was giving up. To understand that it doesn’t matter if I throw away this opportunity because I’ll have my chance at a thousand more.
But I only get one opportunity with your brother.
One chance with him, and I almost blew it.
I need to—” I stopped myself and shook my head, rubbing my fingers over my eyes.
“You know what? I get that you’re pissed at me, and I’m sorry.
I’ll spend the next year trying to make it up to you, I promise.
But Aiden is the person I should be telling this to, not you. ”
Addison stared at me for long moments, her arms crossed over her chest, gaze scrutinizing. Then she nodded, almost to herself, and grabbed her phone. “You’re right. It’s too bad you didn’t come to this realization yesterday. Before he left for another continent.”
I gasped, bringing my hands up to cover my mouth. “Fuck. He’s already…”
“In Germany.”
My brows flew up, because his cover to her and all his siblings was that he’d be at a conference in California. “And you…”
“Know about the books?” she asked, though she didn’t lift her gaze from her phone. “Yep.”
“And you’re…”
“Totally cool with it? Also yes.”
I breathed out a sigh, so relieved for Aiden that he finally had that weight off his shoulders. Relieved…and guilty as fuck because he’d had to tell them. Because I hadn’t given him a choice.
“Well, this isn’t going to be great,” she said, her tone all business.
“The earliest flight you could make doesn’t leave until tomorrow night, which means you wouldn’t get to Germany until Monday morning, and that’s if you don’t have anything hold you up.
And since his return flight is on Monday, you’d probably pass each other on the way to and from the airport.
” She pursed her lips. “You could also just wait here for him to get back and save yourself a fuck-ton of money. Or…”
“Or?” I asked, not bothering to hide the hopeful note in my voice, because waiting here wasn’t an option. I needed to see him now…yesterday…as soon as fucking possible.
She shrugged. “Seems like a waste of a perfectly good billionaire contact and your mom’s sugar daddy if you can’t hijack his jet for something like this…”
I stared at her for a moment, eyes wide, then breathed out a laugh. I squeezed her tight, peppering kisses all over her face, before stepping back and pulling out my phone, dialing the person I needed.
She answered on the second ring, and before she could say anything, I cut in, “Mom? I need the biggest favor of my life.”