Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
ADDISON
Last night had been dangerous.
Not in the real, literal sense, but in the oh shit, I’m going to be decimated when this inevitably ends kind of way.
Chase and I had skated for what felt like hours, just the two of us under the stars with the snow falling softly around us. When my feet had been blocks of ice and my nose as red as my hat, we’d headed back to the inn.
After what Avery had said about mauling Aiden, I’d known we wouldn’t have to worry about being caught.
So I’d dragged Chase upstairs and straight into a hot shower, leaving the jersey that had starred in so many of my fantasies on the floor along with every stitch of clothing we wore.
He’d whispered the sweetest things in my ear, and I’d seen something different in his gaze.
Something that spoke of permanence. Something that spoke of forever.
Then I’d woken up this morning to an empty bed. Again. And the pang in my chest had only grown in the time since.
It was stupid—I’d been the one to tell Chase he needed to be gone before Brady did his patrol of the resort grounds at ass-o’clock every morning—but I couldn’t help but feel slighted that Chase and I had to survive on these stolen moments.
Especially when we got so few of them in the first place.
Especially when he was going to be gone before I knew it.
On top of that, I was still irritated that none of my brothers had thought to clue me in on the impromptu ice-skating rink in our backyard.
Or worse, that they’d thought about it and actively discounted it.
It was hard not to feel like an afterthought in this family of nearly all boys, the five of them leaving me out, whether on purpose or not.
I’d had all night to stew, as well as the entire walk over to the diner for this morning’s meeting, and I hadn’t calmed at all.
Avery was getting something set up for one of the guests, so it was just me and my brothers today.
Beck stood behind the counter pouring a cup of coffee for Ford, who sat on one of the barstools.
Levi was at his usual place in the corner, his nose buried in a book.
And I was spread out at my table in the middle of the space, ready and waiting to give everyone a piece of my mind.
Brady and Aiden strolled in at last, cutting it awfully close to the start of the meeting. They both pulled out chairs at the table next to mine and let out identical groans as they sat.
Levi lowered his book and glanced at them with a raised brow. “Feeling your age today, boys?”
“Watch it, you little shit,” Brady muttered without any heat.
Levi chuckled. “Not sure why you two old men thought you could keep up with the rest of us yesterday, but you’re paying for it, huh?”
Without sparing Levi a glance, Brady flipped him off.
Aiden scoffed. “You’re only four years younger than me. You telling me you didn’t have any aches and pains this morning?”
Levi didn’t say anything, but that was answer enough, and everyone knew it.
“Well, I, for one, feel like I’d been run over by a Mack truck,” Ford said, lifting his coffee mug as if to cheers.
“Same,” Beck grumbled as he dropped off coffees for Brady and Aiden. “I don’t know how the fuck Chase does that every damn day.”
I blew out a long-suffering sigh. “If you guys are done with your old-man gossip, I’d like to transition to something different, if that’s all right with you all.”
The five of them exchanged questioning glances—asking for permission about anything wasn’t in my wheelhouse, and they were understandably confused.
Finally, Aiden dipped his chin in a nod. “Go for it.”
“Great,” I said with false cheer, my hands folded on top of the table as I glanced at each of them. “I’d just like to know why the fuck no one bothered to tell me something like this was going on at the resort.”
“Goddammit,” Ford muttered. “Rookie mistake. We should’ve known that was a trap.”
Brady lifted his hands. “I didn’t even know it was happening. Aiden dragged me over there.”
“And I got roped into it on my way back to the inn,” Aiden said. “I tried calling Avery to let her know, but she didn’t answer.”
Ford shrugged. “I didn’t find out anything about it until they needed me to help set up the stakes for string lights.”
Beck leaned back against the counter, his arms crossed, and lifted his chin toward his twin. “I only went because Ford made me.”
I narrowed my gaze on each of them before turning toward the only person who’d yet to speak up. The rest of them followed suit, all of us glancing at Levi, who Chase had told me last night had given him the green light to use the rink in the first place.
Levi took a sip from his coffee mug, totally unconcerned that five pairs of eyes were on him. Finally, he glanced up and shrugged. “So I didn’t tell you. So what? You want me to check in the next time I need to wipe my ass, too?”
I chucked a pen at his head, missing by a mile. “Are you intentionally this much of an ass, or am I just lucky?”
“What’s the big deal? You hate hockey—said it takes more skill to play table tennis, if I remember correctly. Why the hell would you want to watch a bunch of guys playing a pickup game?”
“It’s not that I wanted to go watch,” I snapped. “And it’s not about the fucking hockey game. It’s that I should’ve known it was happening in the first place. But this was just one more thing the five of you tried to keep from me. Either we run this resort as a family, or we don’t. Which is it?”
“Wait.” Brady leaned forward, his brow pinched. “What do you mean ‘just one more thing’? What else did we keep from you?”
Well, shit. I hadn’t meant to say that. I’d let my emotions get the best of me—not to mention Levi bringing up my fabricated hate for hockey and making me all flustered.
I shook my head. “Forget it.”
“No,” Aiden said. “What did you mean?”
I glanced at each of them and knew there was no getting out of this. “Fine. What about Dad? You didn’t want to tell me about him, either.”
It was quiet until, finally, Aiden blew out a long sigh.
“We didn’t go out of our way to tell you about the rink because we figured you had other shit to deal with.
You’re always putting out one fire or another, managing a new promotion or event or whatever the fuck keeps you working your way through those dick-shaped stress balls like they’re candy.
You didn’t need to worry about this, too.
We had it handled. And we all know you would’ve worried about it right before you took it all over and added yet another thing to your plate. ”
I huffed out an indignant breath. “I would not!”
Brady and Aiden both stared at me with identical expressions as if to say, are you kidding me right now, but it was Ford who piped up with, “Face it, little D. You’ve got control problems.”
“Oh yeah?” I snapped, sharper than was absolutely necessary.
But if they wanted to get into this shit, we were going to get into it.
“Well, did you ever stop to think that maybe that’s because none of you let me control anything when I was younger?
You took everything out of my hands and didn’t give me a choice in the matter.
So when I came back after college, I decided enough was enough and took control of everything I could.
Except, even with doing that, the same shit is still happening.
I’m one of Dad’s kids, too, and I deserved to hear about it directly from your mouths, rather than having to eavesdrop to be in the know. ”
“We didn’t want to tell you about Dad because you shouldn’t have to worry about it,” Brady said, his voice gruff.
“But you guys should?”
Beck shrugged. “We’re used to it.”
“And we made damn sure you weren’t,” Aiden said.
I threw my hands up in the air, frustrated all over again. “Because you guys don’t think I can handle shit. I’ve been back here for six years, busting my ass every damn day, and it still feels like I’m trying to prove myself.”
Silence descended on the diner as everyone stared at me. After several long moments, I started shifting in my seat, the awkwardness nearly unbearable. “Stop looking at me like that, you big, hairy trolls.”
Levi exhaled a heavy sigh and shook his head, as if I were the one causing the issues here. “You’re an idiot.”
“He’s not wrong,” Beck agreed.
My mouth went slack as my gaze pinged between each of them. “Excuse me?”
“Addison,” Aiden said on a sigh. “I have no fucking idea why you feel like you’re still proving yourself to us.
You did that on your first day home when you walked in and took over.
You worked eighteen hours straight, getting this mess in order, and managed to secure our first three bookings of the summer by the end of the day. ”
“You are the one who single-handedly brought this resort back to life,” Brady said. “You’re the heart of it, just like Mom was. The five of us are just along for the ride.”
A knot the size of Australia formed in my throat, and I couldn’t swallow fast enough, attempting to shove it down deep.
Desperate to keep my emotions in check, especially in front of them.
With the exception of Ford, my brothers weren’t talkers.
They didn’t discuss their feelings, they weren’t super comfortable when I discussed mine, and they definitely didn’t heap praise on me.
Which was probably why this hit so hard.
I hadn’t realized how badly I’d needed to hear those words until they’d spoken them aloud. Until they’d put to rest the fears I’d been unnecessarily carrying for years.
That I wasn’t enough. Hadn’t contributed enough. Hadn’t repaid them for all they’d given me…all they’d done for me.
I also hadn’t realized how fast the waterworks would come because of those big, dumb, lovable jerks, or how futile it would be trying to keep them at bay. My eyes filled, and I had about ten seconds to get out of here before they’d spill over.
Knowing I was fighting a losing battle, I gathered up my things as fast as I could. “Well,” I said, my voice wobbling as I spoke through the tears I refused to let fall. “Since I do so damn much around here, I’m due for a break. And you five idiots can work through the budget meeting on your own.”
I hustled to the front door and pushed through it just as the first tear fell, grateful for the cold bite of winter against my face.
“We love you, too, little D!” Ford called just before the door shut, and I breathed out a watery laugh even through my tears.
Grateful beyond belief that they were mine and I was theirs and we were making this dysfunctional little family of six work, despite our history.
Despite everything that had been stacked against us.