35. Alex
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
alex
As I let Chelsi into my apartment, a sense of nervousness and anticipation courses through me. Having her in my private space makes everything happening between us more real. It’s a step I haven’t taken with another woman in almost twenty years. One more wall crumbling down.
After flipping on the kitchen lights, I head to the fridge to store our panna cotta for an hour before it’s ready to eat.
It’s why I thought having her come here would be a good idea.
My place is closer to the cooking class, and it will give us the added privacy we definitely won’t get if we headed back to Kate and Jake’s.
I can only imagine how much they would stare at us or the questions they’d ask.
“So…this is where you live?” Chelsi asks, in the center of my living room as she slowly spins around, eyeing the space. “It’s different from what I imagined.”
Once I’ve closed the fridge, I stroll toward her, trying to control my breathing and racing heart because she’s actually here. In my home. With me.
“What did you expect?” I stand in front of her, gently placing my hands on her waist as I meet her gaze.
She grimaces slightly, scrunching her nose. “Don’t get mad, but I thought it would be devoid of any character. Like, nothing on the walls. No blankets on the couch. Not a bachelor pad per se, but something sterile.”
“Ah.” I reach for her hand and lead her to the light gray sectional that takes up a significant portion of the living room wall. “Are you politely telling me that you thought I had zero taste? No ability to decorate.”
“I mean…” She scrunches her brow and sits next to me. “Kinda. I didn’t expect your apartment to feel like…a home.”
My chest tightens as I rub my suddenly sweaty palms on my jeans.
Hearing those words come out of her mouth heals a piece of my soul I didn’t know needed to be fixed.
During my childhood, I never had a place to call home.
A house where I felt protected, loved, and cherished.
When I became an adult, I searched for something permanent, wanting to find a way to magically wipe away the pains of my past, but learned the hard way that’s not how it works.
I never thought I could make a home on my own. Never expected the apartment where I’ve lived for more than five years could feel like home to someone else. To her.
“Are you okay?” she asks, placing her hand on top of mine. “Did I say something wrong?”
I shake my head, trying to force the emotion within me from coming out any further. It’s not the time for her to see this side of me. The one marred by scars of yesterday—bandaged but never allowed to fully heal.
I press a kiss to her temple, wrapping my arm around her as she snuggles into my side. “I’m just glad you’re here. It feels a little surreal to have you sitting on the couch. I can’t tell you how many times I dreamed of seeing you in my apartment.”
Or imagined coming home to her after a long weekend on the road. Waiting for me with open arms after I step in the front door.
“Care to share anything else you’ve dreamed of doing with me in this apartment? Curfew’s not until 11 p.m., so I have a few hours to kill.” She looks up at me with a hunger in her eyes and a smirk.
“Oh, Chelsi. I don’t think you’re ready to hear the things I want to do to you. What I plan to do once you give me your heart. Once I fully have you, I don’t plan on ever letting you go.”
Her body quivers slightly as she inhales sharply. “Those are pretty serious words, Alex.”
“I mean every one of them. You’re incredible, Chelsi. I’d be a fool not to want to spend my life with you.”
“I—”
“You don’t have to say anything. I don’t expect you to at this point.
I just need you to know that I’m in this with you.
For real. For as long as you’ll have me.
” I pause, taking a long, deep breath to calm my nerves.
“I’m hoping it’ll be forever. That’s why I want us to wait to have sex.
I need you to know none of what I feel for you is tied up in the physical.
That’s all a bonus. And if I’m being honest…
” I swallow hard. “It’s to protect my heart, too.
I don’t know whether I could recover from letting you into bed only to watch you walk away. ”
She sits up, turning to face me. “You say things that excite and scare me. You make me feel emotions I’ve never experienced before. I don’t understand how someone like you is still single. You’re pretty much every woman’s fantasy.”
I tense slightly at her words. “I don’t care what any other woman thinks about me. Can’t you see I’m crazy for you, Chelsi? No one else in the world could ever compare to you.”
Her breath hitches as she leans forward, pressing her lips against mine.
The kiss starts off slow and tender until she parts her mouth, and then all bets are off.
I can’t control myself, tangling her tongue with mine as I thread my hand through her curly hair.
Kissing her is electric, sending small shockwaves from my lips to my toes, awakening all my senses.
Making me feel more alive than ever before.
All because of her. It’s always because of her.
When she moans into my mouth, I snap and quickly move her body until she’s lying with her back on the couch as I hover above her. Her chocolate-brown eyes are filled with lust as she looks up at me, anxiously awaiting to see what I’ll do next. How I’ll tease her. If I’ll please her.
Goddamnit. I hate my own rules.
She may not be ready to say it yet, but I know she’s falling for me.
I can feel it in the depths of my soul. Everything between us will change once she’s ready to tell me how she feels.
The future she wants for us. I’ll give her all of me in an instant.
Let her into the very fabric of my being.
Shower her with undying devotion and love. For a lifetime.
She rolls her hips, brushing her core on the bulge in my pants.
I hiss at the friction as my cock strains against the zipper, begging to be freed.
Part of me is still wound up from the other night when I texted her instructions on how to get herself off.
Imagining how she reacted after each message.
Wishing I were the one doing it. Fisting my cock until I came all over my hand and stomach in the back of the bus did nothing to quench the desire pooling in my veins for her that night.
The ache I still have for her—the one I don’t think will be fulfilled until I’m buried deep inside her. Claiming her as mine. Forever.
Chelsi grinds against me with a wicked grin as her skirt lifts up her thighs. “God, you’re so hard and huge. I can’t wait until I can feel all of you. With nothing between us.”
She swirls her hips, rubbing her panty-covered pussy along my erection.
“Fuck, Chelsi,” I groan, bracing my weight with my elbows, caging her in. “How wet are you?”
“Drenched.” She arches her back, thrusting her core into me once again. “Is it against the rules if you check?”
Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Holy fuck.
She’s giving me permission to touch her.
I probably shouldn’t. It wouldn’t be a good idea. It’ll just leave me wanting more than I can give her.
But I can’t fucking help myself. The woman of my dreams is writhing beneath me, asking me to touch her. How can I say no?
I swallow hard, trying to control my rapid breathing. “That sounds like a reasonable request.”
A soft gasp escapes her. “What are you waiting for? I’ve been thinking about having your hands on me for weeks. Please don’t make me wait a second longer.”
“Your wish is my command,” I reply, slowly sliding her skirt to her waist as my pulse beats rapidly.
After shifting all my weight to one elbow, I take my other hand and lazily dance my fingers up her thigh, listening to how her breathing patterns change the closer I get to her center. It’s only been a few seconds, but I could die a happy man after seeing the impact my touch has on her.
I take a deep breath, then lightly drag my index finger up her pussy. “Fuck. You’re soaked. Is this all for me?”
She bites the corner of her lower lip and nods. “You make me so wet all the time. I’m going through more underwear in a day than should be allowed.”
I chuckle, removing my hand from her core.
“Don’t stop. Please,” she pants, locking eyes with me. “Please touch me again. I want you to…”
“What do you want, gorgeous?”
“Make me come, Alex.” She lifts her hips until she rubs against my rock-hard dick again. “Please.”
Fuck me.
I glance away, warring with myself about how close we’re getting to the line I don’t want to cross yet. Maybe if I keep her clothes on…
Fuck it. I have to get my hands on her. I can’t keep waiting. It’s driving me insane.
“One condition,” I say in a low, raspy tone.
“Whatever you want.”
“I want my name on your lips when you come for me.”
Her face softens as she cups my cheek. “It’s been your name every night for weeks, Alex. I’m beginning to wonder if it’ll always be your name.”
That fucking does it. I lose whatever restraint I had remaining, crashing my mouth to hers in a passionate kiss as our tongues tango. Not breaking the kiss, I adjust my position to give myself better access to her body.
With my free hand, I gently stroke her panty-covered pussy. Her eyes light up at the first touch, and it doesn’t take long until she’s squirming under me. I increase the pressure, pushing deeper into her as she begins to moan.
God, I could come in my pants from listening to the sounds coming out of her mouth.
Desperate to please her, I focus the strokes on her clit, and she begins to come undone. Her breathing becomes rapid, her pulse visible in her neck as I keep my focus on her face. Not wanting to miss a second of what it feels like to bring her to the edge of the cliff and watch her fall over.
It won’t take long to make her come if I keep up this pace. The smart thing to do would be to continue this rhythm. Let her slowly build up until she can’t handle it and explodes.
But I can’t. I want to give her so much more. Need to show her that I’m going to constantly surprise her in the bedroom.
Without warning, I quickly slide her panties to the side and stroke her wet, bare pussy.
“Oh my God, Alex,” she moans, her eyes flashing open to look at me. “I’m so fucking close… Please keep touching me.”
“Show me what a good girl you are…”
An audible whimper comes out of her as I stroke her. Flicking her clit. Once. Twice. Three times.
“Come for me, gorgeous,” I whisper into her ear, my warm breath sending goosebumps down her neck. “Come for me now.”
That’s all it takes. As if my words are tied to her pussy, sending her over the edge quickly. Knowing the impact my words and touch have on her does me in.
“Oh my God, Alex. Fuck. Alex,” she shouts, bucking her hips against my hand like she’s chasing every little bit of friction possible.
I don’t let up, giving her what she wants until her body goes limp against me. Completely satiated with what she’s experienced. And the feeling is definitely mutual.
“That was…” She pauses to catch her breath. “That was so much better than my vibrators. All of them. Combined.”
I chuckle, removing my hand and fixing her underwear. After bringing my finger to my mouth, I suck off her arousal. “You taste so goddamn amazing. Can’t wait until my mouth is between your legs, worshipping you like the goddess you are.”
“I’m game for that anytime, Alex,” she teases, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me into a quick kiss. “Name the date and time, and I’ll be waiting naked on your bed.”
I groan, envisioning her spread out like a meal. Waiting for me to devour her as she deserves. “Once I get a real taste of you, I’m going to be addicted to your pussy. I’ll be on my knees every night for you. Twice a day if you let me.”
She shivers. “I want more with you, Alex. So much more. I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”
I gulp, feeling the same way. It’s killing me not to carry her into my bedroom. Show her how amazing sex between us will be. Prove that we’re meant to be. That she’s it for me.
“I know, gorgeous. Once I have your heart, you should plan on spending the next two days tied to my bed. I will fuck you so good that you’ll feel me inside you for weeks.
You’ll have so many orgasms that I’ll be able to get you off with a single look.
A flick to your nipple. A drag of my finger up your arm. ”
“Oh my God, Alex,” she whimpers, starting to squirm again.
“I’m going to ruin you for all other men. Make it so the only cock you crave is mine. Nothing and no one will ever satisfy you the way I will.”
She gasps, locking eyes with me.
“Say the words and I’ll give it all to you. Until then, I’ll drive you crazy by showing you glimpses of what you can expect from being in my bed. Make it abundantly clear that you’re destined to be my girl.”
“Fuck, Alex. How are you turning me on again?”
I tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “Because that’s what happens when you find your other half.”
She gasps softly. “Can I at least touch you? I want you to experience what I did.”
“You already did. I’ve been worked up for days because of you. Watching you come for me sent me over the edge.”
Surprise colors her face. “Does that mean…”
“That I came in my jeans like a goddamn high-schooler. Yes.”
She chuckles and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me closer to her. “Good. I like knowing that I make you come undone.”
“You have no idea, Chelsi,” I reply, resting my forehead against hers.
This woman has stolen my heart.
Embedded herself deep within my soul.
And made me fall in love with her.