46. Alex
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
alex
Outside by the pool, Chelsi and her mom are engrossed in a conversation about her internship and how her boss, Stasha, has already promised a full-time offer is headed her way at the end of the summer.
There is obvious joy on both of their faces.
It’s impossible to deny the strong relationship they have. All of them have.
Although Chelsi’s family may have its quirks, their close-knit relationship is what I always envisioned a family would be like. What I longed for as a child when I bounced from one foster home to the next. What I thought was out of the realm of possibilities for me as an adult.
And now…
It all seems within reach. My dream girl. Becoming part of an extended family that actually cares and shows up for each other.
A sharp pang hits me squarely in the chest, causing me to instinctively rub my sternum with my knuckles. It’s been a long time since I had this much hope. Since I dared to allow myself to dream of a future that included someone other than myself.
Kevin hands me a cold beer, sweat dripping down the glass, thanks to the oppressive summer heat. “This is probably when I should grill you about your intentions regarding my daughter. Supposedly, that’s the dad role, or so I’ve been told.”
I chuckle and take a swig of my beer. “That’s what I’ve heard, too.”
He glances over at his family and smiles.
“She seems really happy. I’ve never seen her glow this much.
I’m sure having a career she’s passionate about helps, but I think a majority of her bliss is because of you.
” He adjusts his posture, placing one hand on his hip while the other holds his beverage.
“I really hope you mean what you say about wanting a long-term future with Chelsi. I’d hate to see her heart get broken by the first person she ever gave it to. ”
“I hope over time you’ll find me to be a man of my word, because I’m deeply in love with your daughter and plan on spending the rest of my life with her.
I can’t promise there won’t be ups and downs, or I won’t anger her at some point because I’m only human, but I will work my ass off to rectify any mistakes I make. ”
He nods. “You have a good head on your shoulders, Alex. I’m rooting for the two of you. Now, help me with the grill so we can get lunch going. I’m not sure whether you’ve experienced Chelsi when she’s really hungry, but it’s not a pretty sight.”
I laugh and follow him across the backyard to the outdoor kitchen. Within minutes, Kevin has me playing sous chef. I quickly learn his love for cooking rivals mine. Apparently, Chelsi takes after her mom with her penchant for surviving on wine and charcuterie.
The rest of the afternoon flies by, with hours spent lounging in the pool.
Chelsi’s parents regale me with stories from her childhood, and a never-ending stream of beverages and snacks.
This is easily my favorite holiday weekend of all time because of the three people I get to spend it with and the way they have welcomed me so effortlessly.
When Chelsi and I head to bed that night, I’m struck by the fact that this place feels more like home than anywhere I lived during my childhood.
How is it possible for two people who didn’t know me forty-eight hours ago can make me feel more loved than the foster families I spent months or years with?
“Are you okay?” Chelsi asks, her head cocked slightly as she stands in front of me, wearing a thin tank top and tiny shorts.
Running a hand through my hair, I sigh loudly. “Yeah. It’s been a good weekend. Just makes me realize how much I missed out on growing up. How I don’t want the same for our kids.”
Chelsi gulps. “Our kids?” There’s a hint of trepidation in her voice and a slight tremble in her lips.
“I mean… I guess we’ve never actually talked about having kids. I just assumed…”
Tears form in the corner of her eyes. “You’ve thought about having kids with me?”
“Of course. Who wouldn’t want a mini Chelsi running around?” I take a step forward, wrapping my arm around her waist and tugging her toward me. “But I’m also fine if you’d prefer not to have kids. All I really need is you.”
She quickly wipes away a falling tear. “Can we sit down for a minute? There’s something we should talk about.”
I nod, then take her hand and bring her to the bed where we both sit on the edge, facing each other. “What’s going on?”
She looks away briefly before meeting my gaze again.
“No one really knows about this except for my mom. I haven’t even told Kate.
” She tenses slightly, clenching and unclenching her fists.
“When I was in college, I had ongoing issues with ovarian cysts. Apparently, I’m prone to getting them for some reason.
I’ve had a few of them rupture in the past.”
I wince. “That sounds incredibly painful.”
“You have no idea. It’s even worse when you don’t know what’s causing the pain the first time it happens.
” She blows out a long breath. “When those issues occurred, I had numerous ultrasounds and learned that I have diminished ovarian reserves. It’s a fancy way of saying that I have way fewer eggs than someone my age, and I’m talking significantly less, which means it’ll likely be hard for me to get pregnant. ”
I gently place my hand on her thigh and cup her cheek with my other hand. “There are plenty of ways for us to have a family if that’s what we want someday, Chelsi.”
She swallows hard. “Are you upset I didn’t tell you sooner?
I didn’t mean to keep it from you… I just never think about it anymore.
There’s never been anyone in my life who made me consider having a family until you.
I got so caught up in the excitement of starting a life with you that I didn’t think about how my condition might impact your life. ”
“First, I’m definitely not upset. I know you’d never maliciously keep something from me.
” I press a soft kiss to her temple. “Second, please don’t ever worry about how any medical condition you might have impact me.
You can’t control what happens to you medically; none of us can.
We can only follow the guidance from doctors and hope for the best.”
“I know, but—”
“All I want is you, Chelsi. Anything else is merely icing on the cake. I spent my entire life without a family to call my own. Now I feel like I’m starting to build one for the first time…
with you. If it’s just us in, I’ll be the happiest man in the world.
If we eventually decide to expand to include a dog or children one day, I’ll be just as happy as long as you’re by my side. ”
Chelsi snuggles into my side, letting out a deep sigh. “Promise? I don’t want you to feel like you might be missing out on something if we can’t have biological children.”
I tilt her head up with two fingers. “I won’t. You’ve already given me everything I’ll ever need and want in my life—a family and a home.”
Her eyes blink away tears. “Make love to me, Alex.”
With that plea, I use my body to demonstrate how much I love her.
How she’s more than enough for me.
How she’ll always be the one I want by my side.
How my life would cease to exist without her.