53. Chelsi
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
chelsi
My breath stills the moment I see him. Heartbreak is written all over his face, and he looks like he can’t believe I’m here. Once I’ve slipped off my shoes, I walk slowly into the living room and take a seat next to him on the couch, tucking my legs underneath me.
Based on the dark circles under his eyes, it looks like he got as much sleep as me last night—absolutely none. We’re both clad in the same clothes as yesterday, looking like hot messes and not seeming to care.
For whatever reason, it helps to know he’s hurting as badly as I am. That what happened yesterday impacted him just as deeply. It’s another confirmation that what we feel for each other is real. It wasn’t my imagination.
Bracing his hands on his legs, he takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes. “What did you want to talk about?” His voice is more gravelly than normal, almost like he’s spent hours crying or yelling.
Wiping my hands on my leggings, I attempt to calm my breathing and racing heart. “I’ve done a lot of thinking since you left Kate’s house. Stayed up all night, trying to figure out where we go from here.”
He nods. “I couldn’t sleep, either. Our bed doesn’t feel the same without you in it.” He gestures around the room. “This apartment doesn’t feel like home without you.”
Tears start to well in my eyes, forcing me to look away for a moment so I can regain my composure. “You keeping your arrangement with Claire a secret really hurt me. There were hours yesterday when I thought what we shared was a lie.”
“It wasn’t—”
I hold my hand up, hoping he’ll take the silent hint to stop talking.
“I know that now. I understand all the decisions you’ve made over the years regarding Claire.
You always want to help those you care about, and this was another way of doing it.
A much more intense, complicated way, but it had a purpose. ”
Alex nods, clasping his hands together. His muscles are tense, like he’s preparing for a devastating blow that he expects is coming.
“What really bothers me is you didn’t tell me about it. How are we supposed to have trust in our relationship when you keep something like this from me? Were you ever going to tell me?”
“I’m desperately sorry for not telling you.
For keeping it a secret. It was never my intention to hide it.
In some ways, it’s always been a nonconsequential part of my life.
One I didn’t think about much. When you came into my life, I knew I had to tell you about Claire, but I wasn’t sure how or when to broach the subject.
I was worried that you’d run once you found out.
But that’s no excuse for not sharing it with you. ”
“No, it’s not.”
“I should’ve told you before we went on our first date.
When we stayed up late talking in the back of the band tour bus.
That would’ve been the right time to share it.
Then you could’ve decided whether or not it was worth getting to know me more.
If I had to do it all over again, that’s when I would’ve brought it up. ”
“It would’ve been helpful to know about it all at the start. I don’t know how I would’ve reacted to it, though. Part of me wants to believe I would’ve been open and understanding, and the other part thinks I likely would’ve run as far away from you as possible.”
Alex winces. “Yeah. That’s what I worried about the most. I had already fallen for you pretty hard by that point.
The thought of losing my chance with you was terrifying.
Although I can’t fix the past, I can promise to always be overly honest with you in the future.
Assuming you might still want one with me. ”
That’s the million-dollar question. What do I want for my future? The answer was so crystal clear a couple of days ago. Now it’s murkier. Or at least it was until about an hour ago when I decided to talk to Alex.
Alex gets on his knees in front of me. “What can I do to get you to trust me again?” He takes my hands, intertwining our fingers. “Name it, and I’ll do it.”
I know he’s serious. I could ask for anything in this moment, and he’d give it to me. He’s the most selfless person I know. It’s one of the many reasons why I love him.
Why I still love him. Why I’ll never be able to stop loving him.
“No more secrets. You tell me everything, no matter how hard it might be to share.”
He nods, keeping his eyes on mine.
“The only exception is gifts. I like those types of surprises.”
Alex chuckles softly and smiles. “What else?”
“You need to tell everyone in the band, plus Anna, Max, and, I guess, Jason, too. I don’t want the people you spend the most time with to be kept in the dark. It’s time to let more people in, Alex.”
“Okay, I can do that. Would you mind being with me when I tell all of them? I think it might keep Jimmy in check if he sees that you’re still by my side.”
“Not sure anyone can keep Jimmy under control, but I can definitely be there. I always want to be with you, Alex. Through the good, bad, and ugly.”
He sighs and closes his eyes for a minute before meeting my gaze again. “What else do you need from me?”
“Tell me you love me,” I whisper, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his forehead.
His walls crumble in front of me as he practically collapses on the floor.
“Oh God, Chelsi. I thought I lost you… I promise you won’t regret giving me another chance.
I love you with everything I have. My heart and soul belong to you.
Every part of me is yours for the taking.
I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. From now until I take my dying breath.”
“That’s what I want too, Alex.”
In a split second, his arms wrap around me and pull me into his chest as his mouth descends on mine.
The kiss starts slow and sensual until I part my lips, allowing his tongue inside as an intense hunger comes alive within us.
I weave my hands through his lush hair, gripping the back of his head to eliminate the minuscule space between us.
I don’t want anything separating us anymore.
Adjusting my position, I straddle Alex’s lap, feeling his erection poking through his shorts.
I start grinding my core against him, chasing any friction he’ll give me.
The past twenty-four hours have been absolute torture, and I’m desperate to erase them.
To have a fresh start with the man I love.
The one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
“Fuck, Chelsi,” Alex groans as my clit rubs against the tip of his dick. “You’re making me so hard. Driving me insane like only you know how.”
Tearing my mouth away from his, I lean back and stare into his eyes. “The feeling is mutual, babe. I need you.”
His breath hitches as his gaze on me intensifies.
“You are my every dream come true, Chelsi. The person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.
The only woman I’m ever going to love. It’s always been you.
It’ll always be you.” He moves a strand of hair out of my face and leans forward, brushing his lips against my ear.
“Take off your clothes and let me remind you what it feels like when I worship you.”
A shiver trails down my spine as heat pools between my legs. I reach the hem of my shirt, then slowly take it off and toss it across the room. Alex follows my lead, removing his shirt and letting it drop to the floor.
His hands move to my bare breasts, gently palming them. “I love that you don’t wear a bra when you’re at home. It’s such a huge turn on.”
“Is that so?” I ask, arching my back and pressing my boobs against him. “What would you say if I told you I didn’t have any panties on?”
He swallows hard as his eyes darken. “Show me.”
Lifting my hips, I kneel over him and tug my leggings down. My bare pussy is on full display for him as my pants hang around my thighs.
“I’ll never get tired of seeing you naked. You’re every man’s wet dream, and you’re all mine. Forever.” He keeps one hand on my breast, rolling my nipple between his fingers as the other moves lower until he cups my pussy. “I have to taste you.”
In one fluid movement, Alex picks me up and flops my back onto the couch, my legs dangling over the arm of the couch. He immediately removes my leggings completely and drops to his knees. My thighs clench in anticipation.
Glancing up at me, he smiles wickedly. “Eyes on me, gorgeous. I want you to watch me eat this pussy like I’m parched for water. Gonna lick up every fucking drop.”
And he does exactly that. Licking, sucking, and flicking in a chaotic pattern that brings me close to the edge numerous times without letting me fall over.
Every touch increases the intensity of my orgasm, making me desperate for relief.
Almost ready to beg him to let me come. It’s exactly what he wants—to show me how much pleasure he can wring from my body.
How only he can bring me to the precipice of pleasure and then pull me right back.
“You taste like heaven, Chelsi. I want to spend the rest of the evening buried between your thighs,” he murmurs, his face covered in my arousal. “Might live down here if you let me.”
“I need…”
“What do you need, gorgeous?” He takes another long, slow lick up my center, causing me to thrash against the sofa. He plunges two fingers deep me, pumping in and out with a slight curl.
“I need you…”
His mouth latches onto my clit, sucking so hard I can’t think straight as black dots cloud my vision. A massive orgasm crests within me, ready to be unleashed at any moment.
He rips his mouth away from me, and the orgasm rollercoaster I’m on suddenly slows. His fingers continue thrusting, but it lacks the same intensity without him sucking on my clit.
“Alex…” I pant, writhing in frustration. “I need to come. Please, make me come.”
His eyes sparkle with mischief. “That’s my good girl.
Asking for what she wants. What she needs.
Making it impossible for me to deny her.
” He rubs my clit in a circle with his thumb.
“You’re going to come on my tongue. Then, I’m going to fuck you so hard the entire building will hear you scream in pleasure.
I want everyone to know you’re mine. You’ll always be mine. ”
Once he begins sucking on my clit again, my eyes practically roll back in my head. The sensation is almost too much, bordering on pleasure and pain. It takes less than a minute before my pussy walls begin to contract, and then I’m falling off the cliff in ecstasy.
“Oh my God, Alex,” I yell, arching my back and squeezing his head between my thighs. He doesn’t relent, moving his fingers in and out of me while he licks up every drop of my arousal. This prolongs my orgasm, dragging out every second and making me even more sensitive than normal.
As my body relaxes, he turns me around. My legs are shaky and my breathing erratic as my pulse races.
“Bend over, gorgeous. Time to leave my mark on you,” he whispers against my cheek.
As he pushes me gently over the arm of the couch, I spread my legs wide as he nestles himself between them. I brace my weight on my elbows, then he plunges deep inside me with a single thrust, almost sending me flying off the couch.
“Holy fuck!” I shout, gripping the cushions as he pounds into me, unlike anything I’ve experienced before.
It’s hard and fast while also overly sensual. Like he’s trying to meld his body with mine. Permanently weave us together, never to be separated again. And my body sure does enjoy it.
His fingers dig into my hipbone as the sound of smacking skin fills the room. “Fuck, Chelsi. You feel so goddamn incredible. This pussy belongs to me for life. No one else will ever touch you like this. All your moans, screams, and orgasms are only for me.”
“All of me belongs to you, Alex,” I moan, unable to control the coil tightening inside of me. “Please don’t stop.”
My words must spur him on because he immediately accelerates his already relentless pace, causing my pussy to clench around his thick shaft. And just when I don’t think it could possibly feel any better, he flexes his cock, and it does me in.
“Oh. My. Fucking. God.” I scream at the top of my lungs as the most intense orgasm of my life tears through my body.
After a few more thrusts, he spills inside me, coating every inch of my pussy and marking me. This time it’s a permanent claiming—one that the two of us will never break.
We’ve chosen to commit our lives to each other. Forever.
Nothing and no one will ever tear us apart.
An enormous wave of peace caravans through my soul, knowing Alex is mine and I’m his. And we’ll never be single again.