Chapter Seven
Ava
"Do you really dream about me?" I ask Dawson as we snuggle in his bed, his arm thrown over my waist like he intends to keep me prisoner right here forever. I'm not objecting. If I'm honest, there's nowhere else I'd rather be.
"Yeah," he murmurs, brushing his lips against my shoulder. "I dream about you far more than I should probably admit."
I process that for a moment. "Does it bother you?"
He crooks a finger beneath my chin, craning my head back. When I resist, he growls softly. "Look at me, Ava."
I reluctantly lift my gaze to his.
"The only thing that bothers me is the fact that you'd turn me down cold if I tried to put a ring on your finger right now," he says, deadly serious.
I choke on a breath, staring at him in shock. "W-what?"
"You heard me, sweetness," he says.
"Dawson, you don't…"
"Mean it? I do," he murmurs, stroking his thumb across my bottom lip.
"But you don't want the world judging you, and I get that, baby.
I really fucking do. Had I met you before our parents fell in love, maybe shit would be different, but that didn't happen.
So, if this is all I can have, I'll take it.
And I'll thank God that I get this much of you.
It's more than a motherfucker like me deserves.
" His eyes drift to my lips. "Who knows?
Maybe one day, you'll say fuck the world and let me put that ring on your finger.
I'm willing to wait, even if it takes forever. "
"Dawson," I whisper, burying my face in his throat to hide the tears in my eyes.
I'm not sure why I even feel like bawling.
Perhaps it's because, for the first time, I'm realizing he doesn't just want me in his bed.
He doesn't just dream about fucking me. He's in love with me, the same damn way I've been in love with him for the last year.
And he's kept it to himself all this time, because he thought that's what I'd want.
He knows me. He knows my fears and anxieties, perhaps better than I do. And he's still here anyway, willing to hide just to have any little piece of me.
He wraps around me, holding me like I'm the most precious thing in the world to him. "This is enough," he sighs, like he's the most content he's ever been.
He's wrong, though. It's not enough. We've already spent a year hiding what we want, even from each other.
Now, we're here, and we're still hiding.
Can we really do it forever? It's not fair to ask that of him.
It's not fair that we live in a world where people care more about our business than they do their own.
He drifts off with another sigh, his arms still tight around me, but I lie awake for a long time, unable to settle. I can't get past his confession and the truth behind it. He loves me enough to hide the truth for me.
And I think… I know I love him too much to ask him to do it.
He wakes me up before dawn with his face between my legs, eating me to an orgasm. Before I can even come down, he's inside me again, fucking me so deep I feel him in my soul.
We come together, shuddering and clenching, so wrapped around one another, I feel like I'm still dreaming.
He holds me as the sun rises, and then kisses me before he slips from bed to get ready for practice. I have to borrow clothes since he destroyed mine. He isn't the least bit sorry about it. To be honest, I'm not either. My dress did what it was intended to do.
My mom and Dennis took my car back to my place last night. She texted me to tell me that they were just going to leave it in the driveway, and that she hoped I felt better.
If she noticed that I wasn't home, she didn't mention it.
I'm guessing that means she didn't notice.
"I'll be over after practice," Dawson murmurs, kissing me so thoroughly my toes curl. "I'll cook for you tonight."
"I can cook, you know."
"I know." He taps me on the nose, smirking. "But I like taking care of you. I've been waiting forever to spoil you, sweetness. Let me."
My eyes go soft. "Okay."
He kisses me again, and then I slip from his truck, hurrying toward the house before I decide to crawl across the console onto his lap. When I look back, he's staring at me with this look on his face that's half hunger, half adoration, and I wonder how I never saw it before.
How did I ever think he hated me?
Sometimes, I'm an idiot.
I'm not even dressed for the day before Emelia calls an emergency meeting of the Sisterhood. I use it as an excuse to call out, completely unprepared to face my class after fucking their idol this morning. And last night. And, in all likelihood, probably again tonight.
By the time I arrive at our favorite hole-in-the-wall diner, everyone else is already there. If they suspect anything, they don't say it as we focus on Emelia's emergency.
She's in love with her new client, Royce Elliot, to absolutely no one's surprise. She may have a hang-up about dating athletes, but honestly? Her entire social circle consists of athletes and athlete-adjacent people like the three of us. Falling for one was inevitable.
"What are you so afraid of?" Nova finally asks her.
"What if it doesn't work out?" she asks, peeking through a slit in her fingers. "What if he decides it was fun while it lasted, but that's all he wants? I'm not built for that."
"You're in love with him," Nova tells her point-blank.
She doesn't say anything for the longest, which is basically a full admission where Emelia is concerned.
I let out a muted squeal, reaching out to pry her hands away from her face.
"I'm so screwed," she whimpers. "This wasn't supposed to happen."
"Last weekend would like to disagree," Nova says, grinning.
Emelia flicks a piece of ice at her, earning a giggle.
"What are you going to do?" Seraphina asks, cocking her head to the side.
Emelia just shrugs, staring down at the water ring on the chipped table. "I guess…tell him? I mean, I have to tell him, right?"
"Duh!" I cry.
"Fine. I'll tell him." She narrows her eyes at the three of us. "But if he breaks my heart, I'm blaming the three of you."
"And if he doesn't, we're playing rock-paper-scissors to see who gets to be the Maid of Honor at your wedding."
"Goddamn kid's games," she groans, earning laughter from all three of us.
Mine dries up quickly, my mind drifting back to what Dawson said last night about putting a ring on my finger…and about the fact that he meant it.
"Alright!" Emelia cries a few minutes later, nudging me with her foot under the table. "What is going on with you?"
"What? Who? What?"
"Oh, that's not suspicious at all," Nova snorts into her water.
I scowl at her. "There's nothing going on."
"You little liar!" Seraphina jabs me in the upper arm.
"I'm not lying."
"Yeah? Then why are you as red as Nova's nails right now?"
Dammit. Busted.
"Fine," I groan, squeezing my eyes closed. "Maybe I'm having an existential crisis."
"It's ten in the morning, Ava," Nova says, laughing. "You cannot have one of those before noon."
I crack an eye open, looking at her. "I slept with Dawson."
If a pin dropped right now, a deaf monk in Tibet could hear it. That's how silent the table is. All three of them are staring at me like I just announced that I'm from Mars.
"Stop looking at me like that!" I cry, slouching down on the bench.
"Sorry," Emelia says first. "We're just…"
"Too stunned to speak," Nova says.
"Our flabbers are ghasted," Seraphina adds.
"Proud of you," Emelia growls firmly, glaring at our friends.
"That too." Seraphina grins, completely unrepentant.
"I guess this means he doesn't hate you?" Nova asks.
I launch my straw at her head.
"What happened?" Emelia asks.
"He texted me about dinner and got on my nerves, so I said that I was bringing my hot neighbor."
"What hot neighbor?" Seraphina blinks at me. "You don't have a hot neighbor."
"I lied," I say, shrugging. "He was annoying me."
Seraphina giggles.
"The point is, he really didn't like hearing about my non-existent hot neighbor." I recount how I found him in my bedroom and lost my towel, which they find hysterical, naturally. "And then things happened. Last night, after dinner, we slept together."
"Go back to these things that happened. Are you talking about sex things or talking things?" Nova asks.
My face heats, which seems to be all the answer she needs because she high-fives Seraphina.
"So…what now?" Emelia asks.
"He said we don't have to tell anyone."
"What the fuck?" Nova and Emelia both growl at the same time.
"It's not like that," I hurry to say, before they decide to kill him.
I know them. They would absolutely drive to the stadium and kick his ass.
"Um, the whole reason he hasn't made a move is that he knows that I don't want people to know.
He assumed I wouldn't want to be with him at all because of what everyone would say.
" I feel like a jerk. "He said that he's okay with us not telling anyone to make me happy.
But then he told me that if it were up to him, he'd have a ring on my finger already. "
"Oh." Seraphina's eyes go wide. "Oh, wow."
Emelia and Nova are looking at me roughly the same way.
"I don't know what to do!" I cry softly.
"What do you want to do, Ava?" Nova asks. "Because whatever that is, that's what you do. Fuck what anyone else has to say, you do what'll make you happy."
Seraphina and Emelia nod their agreement.
"What if…" I lick my lips. "What if what I want to do might ruin both of our lives? And our parents' lives?"
"Fuck that noise," Nova growls. "You two are grown adults.
You didn't even know each other until a year ago.
You can't help that you fell in love, just like your parents can't help that they fell in love.
Anyone who holds that against you needs to get their goddamn heads on straight, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. "
"Hard agree," Seraphina says, nodding firmly.
"What she said," Emelia agrees. "You aren't related by blood. Your parents have been married for what? Five weeks? Anyone who wants to judge the two of you can go kick rocks."
They're right. I know they are, but…
"What if our parents freak out? I don't want this to ruin their relationship. I'll never be able to forgive myself if I'm the reason my mom ends up alone."
Emelia reaches for my hand, squeezing my fingers. "The only way you'll ever know for sure is if you talk to them, hon. I know your mom, and I know that, more than anything, she just wants you happy. If Dawson makes you happy, she's going to be on your side."
She makes it sound so easy. They make it sound so damn logical. But it feels the exact opposite. This is a mountain, and I'm seriously fucking worried that dragons live at the top.
I have to find out, though. For Dawson's sake, I have to face that fear and just…climb. If I don't, I'm going to ruin us before we ever had a chance. Out of all the possible ways this could end, I think that one is the worst.