Chapter 20
CHAPTER
TWENTY
“No!” I cry out again as I return to the muted, lifeless grayscale of my home, kicking the pile of trash beside my feet. The look of terror on Ada’s face as the dream ended is burned behind my eyes.
I don’t think. There’s no time. She needs me.
Barely a moment passes before I’m pushing away from the dream realm to materialize in the mortal one.
I wince at the glare of morning sun reflecting off the blanket of snow surrounding Ada’s cabin.
My limbs feel heavy and far too solid as I attempt to get my bearings, but I don’t let myself think about it. I have to find Ada.
The chill air stings against my lips and throat, and it takes a moment for any sound to come out when I try to call her name.
Barks sound in response to my croaked shout.
“It’s okay, boy, I’m coming. I’m here,” I yell back, like Henry has any clue what I’m saying. My heart hammers in my chest as I force my body to move, boots sinking into the snow as I attempt to run toward the cabin.
She’s okay. She was sleeping. Dreaming. That means she’s still alive. Or she was.
If she’s dead…
No. I shake my head, unwilling to consider the thought. She’s okay. I’ll make sure she’s okay.
I stumble my way up the cabin stairs and go to the door, which opens as I twist the handle. Why isn’t the door locked?
Henry attacks me with licks and whines the second I step inside, nudging against my legs so hard in his attempt to communicate his distress that he almost knocks me over.
I push past him, rushing toward Ada’s bedroom, stomach clenching with guilt and dread as I approach.
Please be okay. Please be okay.
Her empty, unmade bed greets me when I step inside.
“Princess, where are you?” I call out to her, but there’s no response. A frantic scan of the rest of the small cabin while Henry weaves between my legs and barks at me shows me she’s nowhere to be found.
Fuck.
I look out into the backyard. No trace of footsteps out there.
Panic lances through me as I return to the living room, desperately searching for any sign of what happened. I’m trembling, more horrified now than I ever was in her dreams, because this is real and I’m failing her.
She needs me. I have to help her.
A powerful emotion I can’t name swells inside me, choking me. I can’t lose her. She’s everything to me. I’m nothing without her.
It’s why I didn’t listen when my friends warned me to avoid only feeding from her dreams. Why I ignored the warning signs when her nightmares didn’t end, even when I felt it transforming me.
Why I didn’t hesitate when she said she needed my help, knowing that I’ll likely never be able to return home or take off this mask.
Ada is my reason for existing. I tried to pretend otherwise, but there’s no more denying it. There is no Seth without Ada. I don’t care anymore if that means I’ll be a monster, as long as it means I’m hers.
I force myself to stop pacing and tearing at my hair, sucking in a shaky breath.
Think, dammit. What did she say in the dream? I assumed that when she said “he” wouldn’t let her leave, it meant leave her cabin. But he must’ve taken her somewhere else.
I go down to Henry’s level, holding his head between my hands to try to help him calm down, as I search his soulful eyes. “Where is she?” He licks a stripe up my mask and whines again.
My eyes sting with tears I’m unable to shed. I smile at him and rub behind his ears. “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. I’ll find her, and none of us will have to be scared anymore.”
Henry lets out a mournful groan, leaning into my hands and giving me another lick before pulling away and heading toward the front door.
He noses at his collar hanging on a hook by the door, so I take a moment to put it on him, not understanding why he wants it on until he dashes out through the doggy door.
I shout after him as he heads out onto the porch and bounds down into the snow toward the treeline. “Hey! Come back! Ada will kill me if you get lost or hurt.”
Henry turns over his shoulder at the sound of my voice, pausing long enough for me to get within a few feet of him, then charges off again with a booming bark.
I’ve never seen him move at more than a leisurely pace, let alone run.
I chase after him, cursing. Please let him be showing me where to go and not leading me out into the woods to freeze to death while Ada is being held captive by her neighbor.
Tom.
White-hot rage burns through me as I run through the woods, following a trail that Henry found.
I should’ve fucking killed him. Ripped his throat out and watched as the life drained from his eyes.
I knew he was a predator, and I did nothing.
If he hurts Ada, it’ll be my fault for not acting.
For trying to convince myself not to give in to violence and allow myself to sink down that dark path.
I’m done pretending I’m decent. Done fighting the urge to hurt him.
Certainty has my heartbeat slowing. My breathing growing steady. My vision sharpening as I spot the cabin at the end of this path.
Henry pauses when we reach the clearing, and I use that opportunity to grab onto his collar and look him in the eyes again. “I’ve got it from here. Go back home,” I whisper.
He lets out a disgruntled huff, licks my mask and stays put by my side.
“Come on, be a good boy. I’ll give you all the treats in the world when Ada and I get home if you listen to me.”
Henry huffs again and moves towards Tom’s cabin rather than back the way we came.
With a curse, I follow, letting myself sink into that scarred pit in my chest that I’ve tried so hard to ignore. My muscles swell and my claws flex as I let the darkness inside flood my veins. I embrace what I’ve become with open arms, no longer afraid of what I am.
A grim smile curves my lips as I pull my hood up and stalk toward the cabin.
Even if I could go back in time and have the chance to walk away from Ada’s dreams while I was still my old self, I know in my soul I wouldn’t. I’d choose every time to stay and give her what she needs.
My princess has grown up. She doesn’t need sweet, gentle Seth now.
She needs her monster.