13 #2
I hear Adam groan, muttering ‘not another one’ under his breath, but at least in this case he’s completely off the mark. Kevin’s sweet but gives off more of a big brother vibe.
‘All working perfectly, thank you,’ I reply, and I try to sound as casual as possible as I ask him the question I’m now anxious to know the answer to.
‘Hey, Kevin, you don’t happen to know where Rory is off to now, do you?’
‘Oh yeah, he’s got a private lesson with Tori. She wants to do some extra teaching qualification or something, and he aced them all when he was pre-pubescent so said he’d help her out. Why?’
‘No reason.’ I should stop there, but my curiosity gets the better of me. ‘Do they know each other well?’
Kevin bounces his head from side to side. ‘Yeah, you could say that. They used to date on and off, I think some of the staff here thought we’d be planning an alpine wedding at some point. Could you imagine, “Rory and Tori”? I’ll admit it has a funny ring to it.’
‘So, to the slopes?’ David injects, thudding the bottom of his emptied pint glass on the table.
I’m glad for the interruption, not wanting to hear more about Rory and Tori, or dare ask how recently this ‘on and off’ history stretches to.
It dawns on me that they could be similar to Adam and me, and worse, that what happened between Rory and I could’ve been the equivalent in their relationship to what Adam and his co-worker did, but Tori might have no idea it happened.
‘To the slopes!’ Lucas chants back at David, and after saying a quick bye to Kevin, I follow everyone out. Adam walks at my side, not uttering a word, and I hate how I know his mind is fixated on that jacket.
At the suggestion and slight peer pressure from the more skilled skiers, we’re going down a red slope, and I’m already wishing I’d stuck to my guns about not doing anything above a blue.
‘Oh come on, it’s an easy red. You’ll love it!’ Lucas said, and so far, he’s been wrong on both counts.
All my focus is going into not wiping out, leaving no time to admire the snow-dappled trees that border the run, or the sky above us that appears like a pristine white sheet placed over the world. I’m navigating a particularly narrow corner where ice has emerged when Adam’s voice drifts by me.
‘So, you and the ski instructor? What a cliché, I didn’t have you pegged down as the type.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You know exactly what I mean,’ he mutters, and his voice is so close to my back it starts putting me off.
‘Can you please give me a bit more space? And if you mean he’s bought me a few drinks over the week, then you’d be correct. But did you also see Meghan and Tilly have had drinks? Did you stop to think he might have bought ones for them, too? For the whole of the class, in fact?’
‘It’s different,’ he says defensively, and I can’t get too annoyed because he’s not wrong.
He knows there’s something there that I’m not telling him, but I’m starting to question what the point would be in revealing what happened in London.
The past is in the past, and I’ve already resolved not to go there again, so he should stop probing before I end up saying something that’ll sour his mood even further.
‘You had his jacket. You mean to tell me there isn’t a story behind that one? That the rest of the class have all had turns taking his jacket home, too?’
‘Oh piss off, Adam. You want to know why I had his jacket? First let me ask you, do you remember why I needed to go outside and get some air at the quiz?’
He stays silent and I scoff.
‘I thought so. It started to snow, and I was outside in only a thin jumper, so Rory lent me his jacket. It could’ve been any of the guys. It could’ve been you. He just happened to get there first.’
‘No, you’re lying. I know it. You couldn’t wait to get under someone else now that we’re over, you threw yourself at the first person who’d take you.’
‘Are you fucking kidding me? You were the one who wanted another “break”, Adam. You were the one who had someone else in our bed only three days later, so don’t you dare talk to me like that when we both know this is all really about you.’
‘I’ve apologised for that over and over, and we weren’t even together,’ he snaps, and now he’s skiing directly across me, weaving from side to side and cutting it way too close when he passes in front.
‘That excuse is bullshit and you know it,’ I spit back, feeling less and less in control of my movements. ‘And could you stop doing that? Please. It’s putting me off.’
‘I’ll stop what I’m doing if you stop lying about you and the instructor.’
‘For fuck’s sake, Adam, when are you going to realise nothing I do is any of your business any more? Now can you please give me some space before I— SHIT!’
I hear him saying my name but it’s faint as my legs split, one ski getting caught on a bump whilst the other pulls me down to the ground.
I hear a pop, or is it a crunch? Then my ankle burns with pain and I feel like I’m going to be sick.
I curl into a ball, trying to think of nothing but my breathing, but the shock of the pain is still there.
‘Fuck, Lotts! Are you okay?’
Adam’s at my side, his face a mix of shock and fear as he scans over my body, assessing for any damage. He reaches out a hand to brush my plait away from my face, his mouth repeatedly forming the words ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again as he tries to remove the ski that stayed on.
It’s such a shift from how he was mere seconds before my fall, and I hate how much I like having him help me. I think about how easy it would be to let him put my broken pieces back together again. How I could pretend that we won’t be in this situation again. That we’ll change.
‘Lottie, are you okay, oh god I saw you go down,’ Tilly frets at my side, rubbing her hand up and down the arm that’s hugging at my foot.
‘And you!’ she shouts, whipping around to face Adam and jamming her index finger against his chest. ‘Don’t think I didn’t see you skiing around her like an idiot. Were you trying to make this happen?’
‘No! Of course not, why would I hurt Lottie?’ he says, hands raised up like he’s pleading to the police.
‘I don’t know, dickface, but you’ve been pretty great at hurting her lately.’
That shuts him up, and I’d love to high-five her, but I don’t want to move. I shift slightly and pain shoots down my ankle so intensely all I can do is wince.
‘What happened?’ I hear Meghan’s voice, and then two more pairs of skis appear in my peripheral, one carrying my lost ski.
‘My ankle,’ is all I get out between deep breaths, and I don’t go to move or say anything else until the nausea finally starts to subside.
‘I’ll help get her back to the chalet,’ Tilly says, still crouched by my side.
‘No, I’ll take her, you should stay on the slopes, practise a few more runs. David can help guide you,’ Lucas says.
Tilly grimaces at David like she’d rather hang out with anyone else. Her expression turns pleading, like she’s urging him to come up with a reason why they shouldn’t be the two left alone together.
David on the other hand only smiles widely and pats her on the shoulder. ‘You heard the man, I’m in charge.’
Tilly folds her arms tightly across her chest, clearly unimpressed with the turn her afternoon is taking.
Any further conversation is lost to me though, as I stay lying on the ground, too jittery to concentrate on anything for long except not throwing up.
Tilly still doesn’t move, but I reach out and give her wrist a squeeze. ‘They’re right, I’ll be fine. You go and have fun.’
She glares over at David, who waves at her with a cocky grin.
‘Not likely,’ she mutters, ‘but fine. I’ll submit myself to several hours of torture if that’s what you want.’
I laugh, certain she’s being even more dramatic than usual, and thankfully the movement doesn’t make me feel any worse.
‘I’ll stay with you both,’ Meghan says, her hand resting on Lucas’s arm as they both nod.
After that, I manage to push myself up off my side so I’m sitting sideways on the slope, my legs straight out in front of me.
I’m surrounded by a circle of my friends forming a barrier from the other skiers who are zipping past us.
Adam stands off to the side, holding my skis in one hand while the other fiddles with the zip of his jacket.
‘We’ll take care of him,’ David says, and Tilly nods. Both agreeing on something for once.
‘We’ll catch up with you later, don’t eat all the chocolate biscuits while I’m gone!’ Tilly shouts as she starts to move away.
I watch as they set off, David saying something that causes Tilly to swing her pole towards him and nearly knocks herself off balance.
Adam lingers behind, his face contorted as he guiltily stares at the snow.
He mutters an apology again that I can barely hear, before disappearing after them, still too embarrassed to look at me.
‘Let’s get you home,’ Lucas says, reaching down and hooking his arms under my shoulders to lift me up.
‘Can you put any weight on it?’ Meghan asks, coming to my other side, and I take a tentative step.
It’s weak, like it’s one wobble away from buckling, but thankfully I can just about walk on it with help.
‘Usain Bolt in the flesh! You’ll be back at the chalet in no time,’ Lucas jeers, but sadly he’s wrong.
We’re farther up the mountain than we’d realised, and I resort to bum-shuffling down the side of the run until we reach the bottom and it connects with a path into town.
We get back to the chalet two hours later, and safe to say I feel sorry enough for myself that there are no biscuits left by the time the others get home.