Chapter 18
RILEY
T he day passed with Jules’s energy waxing and waning. But he had managed to get food down her—that stayed settled—and talked her into more than one nap.
Before he knew it, the sun had set, and she was still intent on being snuggled up to him. Who was he to deny her that? His decision to stay the night had nothing to do with the way he was intent on having her snuggled up to him too.
And as he opened his eyes the next morning, he couldn’t deny that he had made the right choice.
Lying flat on his back, Jules slept soundly atop him.
Her head was on his chest, tucked in under his chin.
Her arm was thrown across him haphazardly.
And her leg was bent over him, her foot tangled up between his legs.
Reaching down, he dragged his hand along her thigh towards her knee. Looping his hand into the bend, he held her securely to him. It wasn’t the circumstances he preferred, but he finally got to wake up with her after being robbed of this moment in Texas.
She looked content as she slept, hopefully a sign that she was feeling better. With today being his day off, he wondered if they?—
“Fuck,” Riley hissed under his breath, a realization hitting him like a freight train.
Guilt churned in his core as he withdrew his hand from Jules’s leg and reached for his phone. He had forgotten his plans this morning in the midst of everything. Plans that he never would have imagined forgetting.
Jules stirred as he pulled up the number and hit ‘call’. With the arm around her, he twirled a strand of her hair around his finger. Morning, wild thing , he mouthed.
She smiled back at him, blinking those beautiful blue eyes of hers that carried a sparkle once again.
The ringing stopped, replaced by his sister’s voice. “Hey, are you close?”
“Uncle RyRy!” a second high pitched voice called through the phone as well.
“Hi, sweetie. I’m afraid I have some bad news,” he started.
There was shifting against him. Jules was putting space between them. He studied her face, confused by the quick change in her mood. She had tension in her jaw, a furrow in her brow. Was she mad?
“I’ll give you privacy with your sweetie,” she murmured, trying to rise from the bed.
Sweetie . He had called someone sweetie. Damn, jealous Jules was adorable.
But she could still be unsteady. Leaning across the bed, he snatched her around the waist and pulled her back. With a gentle thud, she sat back on the bed, the dip of her eyebrows deepening.
“Paisley, sweetie . Any chance you’ll forgive me just this once?” he said into the phone. “I’m not going to make it this morning.”
Immediately, Jules’s expression softened with understanding. “You had plans with your niece this morning?” she asked.
He nodded back.
“Don’t cancel for me!”
“Paisley, can you hang on just one second?” he asked rhetorically before lowering the phone. Then to Jules he said, “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere.”
“No, I’m feeling so much better this morning,” she insisted. “Please don’t stand that little girl up for me.”
His gaze swept over her. She did look better. The coloring of her cheeks returned, along with her ability to sit up without being dizzy, apparently. “You’re sure?”
“I’m positive. Please , go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Pursing his lips, he nodded slowly. Then raising the phone back to his ear, he said, “You still there, Paisley? Good. Okay I am coming today, sorry for the scare. I’ll be a little late though. Think you’ll still be in the mood for pancakes in an hour or so?”
“I’m always in the mood for pancakes,” the small girl scoffed. What a silly question.
“Perfect, I’ll see you soon, kid.”
Ending the call, he turned back to the woman in bed beside him. She was sitting with her legs folded into a pretzel shape, leaning forward with her elbow on her knee and chin propped in her hand. She definitely seemed better.
Emboldened by her demeanor, he tossed his phone to the side and dove forward, wrapping her up in his arms as they landed back on the pillows. She giggled from the movement, reaching up and wrapping her hands behind his neck.
“I thought you were supposed to be leaving?” she asked innocently.
“Only if you’re sure you’re okay,” he replied, settling his weight onto his knees and forearms to hover above her.
“Do I not look okay?” There was a challenge in her voice, taunting.
He allowed his gaze to rake over her slowly, indulging in the sight. “You look fucking perfect,” he growled.
Dipping his head, he trailed kisses along her collarbone. The thin strap of her tiny top easily brushed aside with a sweep of his hand, leaving a clear path for him to continue on.
“You’re going to be late for Paisley,” she breathed.
“Yeah, well it’s not like she’s my kid,” he murmured against her skin. All he could think about right now was Jules. Specifically, picking up where they left off at the river.
A laugh escaped her as she pressed both hands against his shoulders, pushing him away. “You just promised her you were on your way. Go.”
“ Goddamnit ,” he muttered. She was right, of course.
He sat back on his knees, still straddling her. Jules smiled up at him, her hair splayed out around her like a golden-rust colored sun, her freckles popping against her fair skin. It was going to take every ounce of willpower he had to walk away right now.
“We never talked about amending the professional friendship thing we’re supposed to have here,” he pointed out.
“There is a tiny little girl sitting on her front stoop waiting for her uncle. And knowing you, you’ve probably given her every reason to think you’ve hung the moon. Do not make her wait longer.”
“I am a pretty great uncle,” he agreed.
“Then go prove it. I’m not going anywhere,” she repeated his promise from earlier.
Worry nagged at the back of his mind that maybe she was avoiding the conversation. But there was nothing he could do about that right now. Because Paisley probably was sitting there looking out for him.
He dropped a kiss to her forehead and climbed off the bed before he could change his mind. If he was being honest, a part of him might be avoiding the conversation as well. The part that was still terrified about how much it would gut him to watch her walk out of his life once again.
“Riley?” she called as he crossed out of the bedroom.
Turning, he leaned in the doorway and waited.
“I’m not deliriously ill anymore. And I want you to know, it was really nice to have you here.”
“Was that your girlfriend this morning?”
Paisley shoveled a fork full of fluffy, buttermilk pancakes into her mouth, never breaking eye contact with him.
A Shania Twain song drifted through the air of the diner, mingling with the clinks and scrapes of patrons enjoying their meals.
It was a good song. And whether she realized it or not, his niece danced along to it as she swallowed the bite and reached for her glass of chocolate milk.
“ Well? ” she asked pointedly. “Was it?”
So, she wouldn’t be distracted from this line of questioning then. “What makes you think I was with anyone this morning?” he asked in return.
“I could hear a lady’s voice. She should be your girlfriend, she sounded nice.”
He smiled as he chomped on a piece of bacon. Bi-monthly breakfast dates with Paisley were some of his favorite times. She was growing up so fast—and getting so observant apparently. He wondered how long she’d want to continue this tradition with him. Surely not once she hit adolescence.
“I don’t have a girlfriend, kiddo,” he replied.
“You should.” She was very matter of fact this morning.
“Why’s that?”
Sitting back in the crimson vinyl booth, she folded her hands in her lap and considered his question. “Because Mommy is worried about you. She doesn’t think you’re happy anymore.”
Well, shit. He gulped down some coffee before asking, “And a girlfriend would make me happy?”
“Mommy and Daddy are happy when they are together. And when Daddy has to go away, Mommy is sad until he comes back. That means having a girlfriend would make you happy.”
“You’re a pretty smart girl, Paisley. You know that? But I’ll let you in on a little secret. Ready?”
“ Yeah .” She leaned forward with wide eyes.
He leaned forward as well. “I am very happy, especially happy to be here with you today. Do you believe me?”
“Mommy says you’re a smiley guy so it’s hard for people to know when you aren’t actually happy. So,” she paused to shrug dramatically. “I don’t know.”
A grunt escaped him. “Your mommy has a lot of opinions.” He motioned at the near empty plate before her. “Eat your pancakes.”
The remainder of breakfast passed without his niece analyzing his life any further. They talked about the new friend she made, how she was starting gymnastics, and debated if they could convince Piper to get her a dog.
The drive home consisted of him pretending to sing along with whatever movie soundtrack she was obsessed with at the moment. But his mind was still back in that diner.
She doesn’t think you’re happy anymore .
He was happy. Did he have the same unbridled joy as he chased down a challenge?
No. Because he didn’t have anything he was working towards.
Instead, he’d positioned himself as the go-to guy for everyone in his life.
Piper, Paisley, his team at the ranch—he had thrown himself into whatever they were needing.
And he didn’t regret it by any means. But part of him did miss having something for himself.
Lately, he was growing increasingly sure that thing was Jules.
But she was leaving at the end of the summer, it’s not like he could work towards a relationship.
And even if he got what he wanted—her to remain in his life—did that count as having a goal for himself?
Maybe that needed to be something that didn’t rely on another person.
He parked his truck in front of his sister’s home and climbed out to follow Paisley up the walk. Piper waited at the door to greet them, oblivious to the way her daughter inadvertently sold her out this morning.
“Hey, love! How was breakfast with your uncle?” she called.
“He got me extra whipped cream and sprinkles!”
“Oh good, extra sugar is exactly what you need,” Piper deadpanned.
He flashed her a crooked grin and Piper rolled her eyes, having dealt with his charm her whole life and being indifferent to it.
“I’m not sure what came up this morning, but you seemed happy when you picked her up,” she noted.
“Yeah, actually let’s talk about that. Away from little ears.” He motioned to Paisley watching curiously from the doorway.
“Head inside, I’ll be right there,” Piper instructed.
With the front door closed, leaving them privacy, they walked over to the porch swing he had helped hang. Riley dropped down onto the floral cushion and crossed his ankle over his knee as he waited for her to sit as well.
“What was it that came up this morning?” she asked.
At the same time, he asked, “Why are you telling Paisley that I’m depressed?”
“I’m not!”
“She seems to think you’re worried about my happiness—as in, I’m faking it.”
“I never said that,” his sister protested.
“But I am worried. This isn’t you. You’re a gambler, you chase what you want.
I mean, you raised hell from your first steps, really put Mom and Dad through it.
And while I was terrified every time you flew from those chutes, you have never been afraid of anything.
But since the injury… it’s like you handed over the reins to your life. ”
Her speech took the wind from his sails. He blinked back at his older sister wordlessly, shocked by how she truly saw him.
“I’m sorry, Ry. I know you’re grown. I just still feel like it’s my job to protect you. And?—”
“Don’t be sorry.” He drew in a deep breath. Then he added, “You’re right.”
“You went through something huge . You almost died!” She paused to steady herself. Taking his hand in hers, she continued. “Recovery takes time, all parts of it. You’re so strong, just don’t forget the emotional injury you endured.”
He rocked his boot that was on the ground, heel to toe, creating a rhythmic sway of the porch swing. “I’m not forgetting about that part. Despite how it may have seemed, I never actually believed I was invincible. I knew the risks. So, I don’t think the reality check is really even part of this.”
“But you are holding yourself back?” she asked carefully.
“More like I don’t know what to throw myself into anymore.” He turned to his sister and grinned. “Other than things with this girl.”
“I knew it! The new girl at the ranch, right? Tell me everything.”