Chapter 27 #2
“Let’s hope,” I reply, but then she glances away, a strange look on her face. She starts to look around, feigning interest in the games, and rides.
“Hey,” I say, poking her in the side. “What’s up?”
“Hmm?” she asks, whipping her head to me, clearly being knocked out of whatever train of thought she was on.
“What’s wrong? What are you thinking about?”
“What? Oh, nothing.” She flails her hand and laughs, a little manically, and I start to get nervous.
“Ivy, tell me,” I playfully scold, gently tugging on a strand of her hair.
“Oh, it’s nothing.” She does the laugh again. “I’m sure that happens to you all the time.”
“What does?” I ask, tilting my head in confusion.
“Girls falling at your feet. I bet you get asked out all the time. As Rose says, you’re disgustingly handsome, and as I’ve said, you have the body of a Greek god.
” The laugh. Again. “I mean, I want to climb you like a tree. You’re literally the most attractive man I’ve ever seen.
I’m sure everyone else thinks so too. I bet you have to beat them away with a stick.
Or maybe not. You know, whatever tickles your fancy.
I’m sure you have lots of experience with the ladies,” she rambles, wiggling her eyebrows at me suggestively.
I blink rapidly, shaking my head and trying to process everything that just tumbled out of her mouth. She just stares at me with wide eyes, and her awkward flat smile. Why the fuck is she talking about me with other women? I only want one woman, and she’s currently pressed up against me.
Like a bolt of lighting it hits me.
Her ex.
Her cheating ex.
My expression softens, and I reach up to brush her hair behind her shoulders. I cradle her head in my hands, gently stroking her jawline with my thumb. Her shoulders relax, and she leans into my hands, closing her eyes at the feel of my touch.
“Ivy.”
She opens her eyes and locks her gaze with mine.
“You don’t ever have to worry about that with me, okay? I only want you. I’m with you, and only you. You hear me? I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but I’m pretty desperate for you.”
Ivy takes a deep breath, and lets out a self deprecating laugh, covering her eyes in embarrassment.
“I’m sorry. Yes, I know you wouldn’t do that.
I trust you, I do. I was just taken off guard by the mention of a woman hitting on you.
I guess I hadn’t considered other women being a component and I just spiraled for a second.
I don’t have the best record when going up against other women,” she responds.
I rub up and down her back, trying to soothe her. Fuck that stupid prick for ever making her feel like she wasn’t enough, or less than anybody else. Ivy is everything. No one will ever be better than her, and that fact is fucking scary to think about.
“Other women are not a component. It’s you, Ivy. Only you. Do you understand?” I say more seriously.
She meets my eye again, and lets out a deep sigh, “Yes.”
“You better.” I tease, and give her ass a light squeeze.
“Daddy!” Lilah yells across the field.
I follow her voice, and see my daughter floating through the sea of people on Lincoln's shoulders, hands full of cotton candy. Ivy reluctantly pulls out of my grasp, and I miss her warmth immediately. The look on her face isn’t rejection, per say, but it’s not a thrilled one either.
I don’t know how to navigate this. When or how do I decide to tell Lilah about us?
It’s only been a day, but I’m already questioning how long I can keep this under wraps.
Lincoln makes his way over, weaving through the crowd until he’s at our side.
“We're all going on the Ferris wheel!” she says through a mouthful of fluffy candy.
“Oh, yay!” Ivy says, looking genuinely excited.
Lilah bends down, reaching her arms out to Ivy. Ivy takes her from Lincoln's shoulders, and gently places her on the ground, stealing a chunk of cotton candy.
“Let’s go,” Ivy says around a mouthful, taking Lilah’s hand and leading the way to the Ferris wheel.
Lincoln and I follow behind, quickly being joined by our other two siblings who had a very intense, very rowdy game of ring toss—which is not surprising.
They’ve always been super competitive. The four of us trail after my girls, watching them swing their joined hands for a moment, before Lincoln breaks the silence.
“Did you guys see Ivy talking to Katie?”
A chorus of What? and When? surrounds me, and I roll my eyes and groan before I shut them up.
“Just a minute ago,” I say. “It was, for the lack of a better term, entertaining.” I try to fight the smirk pulling at my lips, but it wins out.
“Please tell me she went full crazy Ivy on her,” Sophie says, laughing.
Oh, yes she did.
Several more questions ring out, so I give them all the details, repeating each completely unhinged thing Ivy said as best I could, while trying to keep a straight face.
Actually retelling it, and having to repeat Ivy’s words just makes me realize how insane she was.
I fucking loved it. Lincoln recounts their interaction in the cotton candy line, and the events leading up to the confrontation with Katie.
“Yep, sounds about right,” Sophie says.
“Holy fuck that’s good,” Maverick says while laughing and shaking his head. “I love her.”
God help me, I think I do too.
Knew it.
I roll my eyes at Sarah's snarky voice in my head.
Lincoln murmurs so only I can hear, elbowing me in my side. “You should’ve seen how worked up she was watching Katie talk to you. She was actually growling. She was like a little pissed off kitten.” I smile at that. “Why aren’t you telling Liliah?” he asks quietly.
I bob my head back and forth, taking a second to find the right words.
“If I tell her…” I start, running a hand through my hair. “That’s me making her a promise. A promise that this person I’m inviting into our lives is permanent. I can’t let Lilah lose someone else.”
I can’t let myself lose someone else.
“That’s what you want? You want her permanently? You’re that sure?” he questions, raising his eyebrows.
A million times yes. I spent so long fighting it, weeks of trying to keep my distance. But now that I’ve given in to it, I know there’s no going back.
“Yeah,” I admit. “But what’s the marker? What’s the defining moment that will allow me to tell Lilah without the overwhelming guilt that I might be doing something horribly wrong. I want Ivy. God, I want her so fucking bad. But does she want me, hell Lilah that bad to be sure she’ll stay?”
Those words hang between us for several seconds. I don’t think Lincoln will respond, until he speaks up again. “Maybe at some point you just have to decide if she’s worth the risk. Is she worth the try?” he says, giving me a sidelong glance.
Yes.
I don’t even have to think about it. If the only thing it comes down to, is whether or not Ivy is worth something, the answer will always be yes. She’s worth everything.
She is everything.
I just hope she feels a fraction of that for me.
I don’t get a chance to answer because we make it to the Ferris wheel. The bright red and blue lights blink in the night sky like a motion sickness beacon. I hate Ferris wheels.
We’re met with my parents waiting for us, and ushering us toward the available carts.
We line up at the base of the wheel, waiting to be herded.
Lilah chooses the uncles, so Linc, Mav, and her pile into one cart, and Ivy and I wave back to her as her grinning face stares down at us.
My mom and dad step into a cart next, leaving me, Ivy, Sophie, and Beau at the bottom.
Sophie looks between her options, then lunges for Ivy’s hand—but I’m quicker. Lifting Ivy around the waist with one arm, I step into the cart that just arrived, and deposit her right next to me. I pull the bar down, and wink at my sister who looks like she might actually be capable of murder.
“Mine,” I call out, as we start to rise.
Sophie fists her hands down by her side, eyes narrowed into slits as she watches Ivy and I ascend. Beau looks incredibly uncomfortable, and is looking anywhere but at our interaction.
“I love you, I’m sorry!” Ivy yells down over the steel bar. “So you know about Sophie and Beau?” she says when she sits back up.
I quirk an eyebrow. “Yes. Do you?”
“Yep,” she says, popping the p. “That was diabolical.” She lets out a light chuckle, shaking her head.
I shrug one shoulder. “They need to figure their shit out. If Beau is back for good, this thing they’re doing where they pretend the other doesn’t exist, isn’t sustainable,” I say. “But, I don’t want to talk about them.”
“Oh?” she asks, turning toward me. “And what, pray tell, would you like to talk about?” She’s got that mischievous flirty look in her eye, and I can’t help myself.
I don’t think. Cupping her jaw, I dip down and lightly brush our lips together, just enough to feel her small intake of breath.
I hover, letting our breath mingle only for a second, before finally giving in.
Dipping my tongue in, I kiss her slow, and lazy, like we have all the time in the world, and were not on a five minute ride, easily visible to the other carts.
She tastes like cotton candy, and it’s fucking addictive.
Ivy grips the fabric of my shirt, pulling me closer to her, and I groan into her mouth.
I want her so fucking bad. My heart is beating so fast, I’m positive she can hear it.
I’m completely lost in her. She does something with her tongue—I don’t know how to explain it—and I nearly lose all of my control, and slip my hand under that tiny little athletic skirt.
I bring my other hand up, cradling her head in my hands, and pressing her into me harder.
Her lips are so fucking soft and biteable, I give into the urge, nipping at her lower lip.
The sound that comes out of her is by far the sexiest, best thing I’ve ever heard in all of my thirty-four years on this planet.
It’s the faintest, softest whimper, ending on a light gasp, and I decide right here and now, the second we get home, and are alone, I will do everything in my power to make her recreate it over and over and over.
Metal creaks, and we’re jolted forward abruptly, before swinging backward. Ivy and I break apart, chests heaving. Her eyes are glassy, and her lips are pink and swollen. I look over my shoulder and realize that we’re already back at the bottom.
Maverick, Lincoln and my mom are standing there, waiting for us to exit our cart with shit-eating grins on all of their faces.
I don’t know when, but throughout the ride, Ivy threw her legs over mine, and was practically in my lap.
I stand quickly, and turn my back to the nosey audience, shielding her from view, so she can right her skirt, and stand.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
I lean down and give her one more peck for the road, and whisper back, “Just wait til I get you home.”
I pull back, and she bites down on her smile, looking up at me through her lashes. “Can’t wait,” she quips, before scooting past me and off the cart.
Home.
Warmth pulses beneath my ribs. She didn’t even blink, even hesitate, at my use of the word. I step off the cart and follow Ivy, ignoring the prying eyes all the way over to my dad and Lilah, where they’re getting their faces painted. Yes, both of them.
We all watch Lilah get—you guessed it—a dragon, and my dad gets a tiger, and the rest of the night goes off without a hitch.
My parents and I take Lilah on all of the smaller rides, while my brothers make it their mission to win their niece a stuffed animal that’s twice her size.
Sophie yells at me for abandoning her with Beau, and Ivy drags her over to the funnel cake booth to try and soothe her and gossip about whatever the hell happened in their cart.
I’m pretty sure Beau left after the Ferris wheel.
We all pile into mine and my parents’ truck, and head home when Lilah’s energy starts to fade. I drop Maverick and Sophie off at their houses, before I’m finally pulling up the gravel drive to our house.
When I cut the engine, the cab is silent, save for a dozing Lilah.
I turn to Ivy, rubbing circles on her bare outer-thigh with my thumb, while the rest of my hand is trapped between her luscious thighs. “I’m going to get her cleaned up, and in bed,” I whisper.
She nods. “I’ll get ready for bed too. I’ll wait for you on the couch,” she says, almost shyly.
I give her thigh a rough squeeze. “I'll try to get her to sleep quickly.”
I don’t think she means to, but she tilts her hips toward my hand, before settling back in her seat again. She clears her throat. “Okay,” she croaks.
This is going to be the quickest bath of Lilah’s life.
I reluctantly pull my hand from the paradise of Ivy’s thighs, and get out of the truck.
I round the hood, and look through the windshield, where Ivy waits patiently for me to open her door.
I help her step down onto the gravel, and close the door behind her.
“Good girl,” I rasp.
Ivy lets out the cutest little squeak when I slap her ass, before she hurries up the porch steps to unlock the front door.
I gather up a nearly asleep Lilah and make my way inside the house, whispering, “Thank you” to Ivy, who’s holding the door open for us.
I slip off mine and Lilah’s shoes, and head down the hall to her bathroom.
“I don’t want to take a bath,” Lilah whines, as I start removing her socks.
“I know bug, but you gotta,” I reply, and have to fold my lips together to keep from laughing at her disheveled hair and smudged face paint. She looks insane.
The bath takes longer than expected, considering Liliah’s exhausted meltdown over not wanting to take off her facepaint, but we get it done.
Sugar bugs are the only threat that convinces her to brush her teeth, then I help her into her pajamas, and find Burrito under her pile of blankets, before tucking her in.
When I turn back from choosing a book, she’s already out.
Thank god.
I kiss the top of her head, and tuck her in tightly the way Ivy does, and switch on her night light. I creep out her room, and softly shut the door behind me, waiting for the click of the door's latch. I hurry down the hallway, anxious to get to Ivy.
I stop short when I see a bundled up, sleeping form under a blanket on the couch.
Sighing, I walk over and smile at Ivy snoring peacefully.
She’s so beautiful it’s hard to look at her sometimes.
I perch on the edge of the couch next to her, and gently brush her hair out of her face.
She moves, readjusting herself until her cheek rests on my knee.
I run the tips of my fingers through her soft, silky hair, just staring at her. She has absolutely ruined me.
She’s it.
If it’s not her, it’s not anyone.