Chapter Ten
ZARIA
I feel like absolute crap.
Sitting in the living room, I’m looking over some contracts and a couple of scripts, but I’m frustrated. All I can think about is Nate’s face as he left this morning.
It’s late afternoon now, and I genuinely feel like I’m having withdrawals. I miss Nate’s smell, his touch, his kiss. But even so, I know I’ve done the right thing for me.
Groaning in frustration, I throw the papers onto the table and run my fingers through my hair when my phone buzzes, alerting me to a message.
So I bring my cell phone up to see if it’s from Nate.
My heart flutters and my stomach twists as I open the message to see an emoji of a dove.
I smile and hit reply, sending a clownfish back to let him know I feel bad.
I wait for anything else to come through or for a phone call, but nothing happens.
I don’t want to stop talking to him, so I figure, fuck it! I’ll call him.
I click his name, and as it rings, my stomach flutters with nerves. It rings… and rings… and rings, and I think he isn’t going to answer when suddenly his voice sounds on the other end.
“Hey.”
“Oh… hi. I thought you weren’t going to pick up.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
I pause and exhale. “Oh, right. What changed your mind?”
“Guess I’m a sucker for Oscar winners.”
Smiling, I sigh, shaking my head slightly. “You’re way too good to me.”
He chuckles down the line, and it’s like heaven to my ears. “I am, but they say the nice guys always finish last, so this is all kind of making sense.”
“Nate…”
“I’m sorry, I’m being a brat.”
“I deserve it… after this morning.”
“No, you don’t. You know what you want. Just ’cause it’s not the same thing I want, it doesn’t mean I have to be difficult about it.”
“True, but just because I don’t want a relationship doesn’t mean I don’t find you to be an incredible man. You know that, right?”
“Thanks, but that doesn’t help, Ria. Basically, you’re saying I’m great, but I’m still not good enough.”
I gasp. “Oh God, Nate, please don’t think that. You’re so good, too good. I’m just—”
“Scared?”
“Yes, very.”
“I told you, I’m not him…” I pause for a moment as I swallow hard. “Are you still there?”
“I’m here, just thinking.”
“I’ve been rejected all my life, and, to be honest, I thought I was used to it. No, I was used to it. I just wanted you to be different.”
My eyes become glassy, the salty water threatening to pool.
I shake my head, fighting back the urge to have it spill over in tears.
“I’m incredibly sorry I’ve made you feel this way…
like you’re not good enough again. I know you’ve been dealing with this your whole life, and I don’t want you to go through that with me. ”
“So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that if you can promise me, swear to me on something important that you will never cheat on me, I’ll give us a go.”
He’s quiet.
A little too quiet.
I’m worried he won’t agree.
That I’m asking too much.
“Nate?”
“I swear on my mother’s grave, I will never, ever cheat on you!”
Hearing those words brings a lump to my throat, and I can’t fight back the tears. My throat chokes up, and I sob just once, but it’s audible that I am crying. “Oh God, Nate, I didn’t expect that. That’s really serious.”
“That’s how serious I am, Ria. I’m not a cheater, never have been, never will be. Please don’t cry.”
I sniff and take a deep breath, calming myself down. “Do you think you might want to come over?”
“I’m already on my way. I’m about five minutes out.”
Opening my eyes wide, I smile. “You’re driving?”
“I started when you admitted you were scared. I had a feeling you might need me by the tone the conversation was heading, though I didn’t see it heading quite this way. I can tell you I can’t stop grinning right now.”
“Really?”
“Like the fucking Cheshire cat, baby.”
I let out a soft, teasing laugh, wiping my eyes. “You’re way too good to me.”
He chuckles. “I know, but you’re worth it. You’re giving a chance to a drummer who can’t read. That’s pretty amazing of you.”
“You’re worth it, Nate. You’re so worth it.”
He pauses for a moment. “No one’s ever said that to me before.”
My stomach sinks at just how badly Nate has been treated in his life, and I was only adding to the misery he was feeling. “Well, get prepared to hear it a hell of a lot more from now on.”
“Thanks. You have no idea what that means to me, Ria. You’ve changed my world.”
I smile, thinking about how, before we met, he could barely read. Now, he can string a few words together, form sentences, and even write a few with my help. I’m so glad I’ve been able to do that for him.
“I think you’re going to change mine, too.”
“I’m pulling up at the gate.”
“Great. I’ll meet you at the door.”
“K-bye…”
Pushing myself up from the sofa, I rush through the house to the front door.
I yank it open just in time to see Nate pull up, so I bolt down the steps to greet him.
He jumps out of the car and runs to meet me, grabbing and lifting me, then spins me around.
I laugh as I wrap myself around him and lean in, kissing him deeply.
We both let out an amused laugh as he walks us back up the steps toward the house and inside, closing the door behind us.
He heads for the pool house, but I stop him and drop from his hold, breaking apart and reaching out for his hand. Nate looks at me, raising his eyebrow as I lead him off to the left and toward the stairs. He furrows his brows, and I smile.
“I think it’s time you see my actual bedroom, don’t you?”
He nods as we head for the stairs. Our feet move fast as we jog up the plush white carpeted staircase, giggling all the way like a couple of teenagers. His hands don’t leave my body, and when we get to the top, we turn right and walk into my bedroom.
He stops as we enter, and he stares in awe. “Sweet baby Jesus,” he says with a smirk on his face.
I turn to look at him and wince. “You okay?”
He looks down at me and says, “You have a four-poster bed…” His grin spreads wider, and I furrow my brows and tilt my head.
“I do?” I say more like a question, wondering why that’s important right now.
He chuckles, wraps his arms around my waist, and walks us further inside my room as his eyes shift around the walls of my bedroom. “Your room is… really white,” he says matter-of-factly.
I let out a bemused laugh. “You don’t approve?”
He chuckles. “No, it’s not that, it’s just, for what’s about to happen in here, white seems very, um… angelic. Where I’m going to take you is a little more south,” he says, his voice dropping to a deep tenor, which makes my knees buckle slightly and my heart rate spike up a notch or two.
Chewing on my bottom lip as I clench my thighs together, I glance at him, seeing the hooded lust in his eyes. “What’s going through your mind right now, Mr. Levine?”
He takes a deep breath and purses his lips. “You wouldn’t happen to have a set of handcuffs, would you?”
I gasp slightly with a little nervous, jittery laugh. “Um… I don’t tend to carry a set around with me.” His face falls slightly. “But… the tie on my bathrobe would probably be sufficient?”
Oh yeah, life with Nate is definitely going to be way more interesting!
His eyes light up like I’ve just said the best thing in the world.
Nate pulls me to him, pushes his lips to mine firmly, and his tongue slides into my mouth with ease as my hands quickly dart up around his neck, pulling him closer.
I trace my fingers through his hair, tugging slightly as he devours me.
He backs me toward the four-poster bed, and I move with him.
Our kiss is fast-paced and passionate. No room for gentle and soft here.
The backs of my legs hit the edge of the bed, and Nate shuffles me up against one of the posts.
He runs his hands down my sides, pulling my dress up my body in one swift motion.
We part lips as he pulls it up and over my head, then steps back, taking in my body.
I am wearing no bra and only a black lace G-string.
He groans, rearranging his crotch as he looks around the room.
I furrow my brows, wondering what he’s looking for when his eyes light up.
“Stay there. Don’t move,” he demands, grabbing my arms and pulling them up over my head, making me reach for the post above me.
This little show of dominance has me chewing on my bottom lip and my body tensing.
I can’t deny I like this side of Nate as he walks over to the other side of my room and grabs my bathrobe.
I grin as he pulls the tie from it. Holding my gaze, he folds it in half, then grabs each end and snaps it, testing its strength.
Fuck! That was hot.
The dominant display has me leaning into the bedpost so I don’t fall to my knees. I can’t keep my eyes off him as I press my thighs together, searching for some relief from the building pressure. My movement doesn’t go unnoticed as I watch a new glint sparkle in his eyes.
He stalks back over to me, my body throbbing with need as he steps up to me. He looks down at my naked chest, shakes his head slightly with a grin, and looks into my eyes.
“You’re fucking stunning, Ria.”
He moves in, pressing his body against mine.
As he raises his hands, grasping the robe tie in one hand, he holds my gaze, giving me a mischievous grin before turning his attention to my hands resting against the post. My breaths are coming in short, sharp bursts as he secures me tightly to the post. The tie is plush, so it doesn’t hurt.
In fact, the fluffy texture against my wrists feels fantastic.
Nate steps closer and plants a firm kiss on my collarbone, grazing his teeth against the protrusion of bone against my skin. I can’t help but wriggle slightly against the post, and he stops, pulling his head back, and looks into my eyes.