Heal Me, Love Me (Off the Mat #2)

Chapter 1

Keaton

My entire body continued buzzing with adrenaline after my win, and sweat dripped down my back under the harsh lights.

As soon as the ref lifted my arm, Coach Luis clapped me on the back hard enough to nearly send me stumbling, and Devon gripped the back of my neck and said, “That’s how you fucking do it.”

After celebrating in the ring, a physician stopped me before I could make it back to the locker room, shining a light in my eyes, checking me for cuts, and making sure my joints still worked. Once I was medically cleared, I finally made my way backstage.

The hallway behind the curtain was crowded with people moving in all directions—coaches, fighters, commission staff, and security.

Someone shouted for water, while another person laughed so loudly it rang out above the rest of the chaos.

The smell of sweat and disinfectant lingered everywhere.

I clocked it all, but my focus kept drifting as I scanned the area for Rowan.

Coach Luis got pulled aside by another staff member while I followed Devon back to a quiet corner of the holding room, where no one else was hanging out. He handed me a bottle of electrolytes and a protein shake. “Damn, Keaton, you looked great out there.”

I twisted the cap off the sports drink and drained half the bottle in one go. “Yeah, but the other guy was sloppy.”

“Because you made him that way,” he corrected. “It takes talent to make an opponent leave openings, and that’s why you won.”

“Thanks. I really appreciate that.” Praise from Devon wasn’t exactly rare, but it usually came with ten other things to improve on, so his positive words meant something to me.

Taking another drink, I glanced past him, expecting at least a couple of the guys to make their way back to where we were since I was the last Titan Elite fighter of the night. I didn’t see anyone, but I kept searching for Rowan anyway.

He’d won his fight too, and if Devon thought I’d looked good, I had nothing on my boyfriend. One minute, he’d been walking to the cage, completely locked in, and the next, he’d had his opponent tapping out.

While I’d been watching him out there, I’d started thinking things I had no business daydreaming about right before my own bout. It also had me wanting to find him the second I won, drag him somewhere private, and—

“You listening to me?”

My attention snapped back to Devon. “Yeah.”

He lifted a brow. “Doesn’t look like it.”

“Sorry.” I tossed the empty bottle into the recycling bin. “Still a little amped up.”

“I get it.” He stepped a bit closer, close enough that I caught the familiar scent of his cologne. Not long ago, I’d associated that scent with late nights, stolen kisses, and time spent in his bed. Now it did nothing for me and hadn’t for a long while.

“You should be proud of your performance,” he continued. “I wouldn’t be surprised if some important people took notice of you.” He deliberately held my gaze, as if he wanted to make sure I understood exactly what he meant.

Of course, I understood. I was pumped about what opportunities my performance tonight could bring. Normally, Rowan was the first person I wanted to talk with about it. Instead, I kept wondering why I hadn’t seen him yet.

Devon’s hand landed on my shoulder, making me flinch. “You and I make a good team.”

Something in his voice made me take notice, something I hadn’t heard in a while.

I didn’t realize he was leaning in until his mouth brushed mine, and I froze. Not because I wanted him to kiss me, but because there’d been a time when I hadn’t thought twice about it. And it seemed it was something my body still remembered, even without wanting to.

Finally, my head caught up, and I shoved him in the chest. “What the fuck are you doing?”

He stepped back with a mildly annoyed look on his face. “What? I’m just happy for you. Relax.”

“Relax?” I snapped. “You just kissed me.”

He shrugged as if it weren’t a big deal. “Yeah, I did.”

“Why the fuck would you do that?”

He studied me for a second, appearing completely unfazed. “I thought that since you’ve proven yourself, we could finally stop pretending there’s nothing between us. No one is going to assume you’re getting special treatment anymore.”

To be fair, things hadn’t ended badly between us, and although we hadn’t put a label on it, I believed we’d both been exclusive during our time together.

It probably didn’t help that, up until Rowan came back, Devon and I would get a little flirty when no one else was watching.

But I’d thought it was just something fun between two people with history, not an invitation for something more down the road.

“I think you misread things.”

His gaze sharpened. “Did I?”

“Yes. There’s nothing between us anymore.”

“Then why did it take you a second to push me off?”

“Because I wasn’t expecting you to do that,” I bit out.

He tipped his head. “So that’s it? You’re just not interested anymore?”

I should’ve left it alone. I should’ve just said no and walked away. Instead—maybe because I was still running on adrenaline, or maybe because Rowan not being there was bothering me more than it should—I said, “No, I’m not. I’m with someone else.”

Devon’s brows pulled together. “You’re what?”

“I’m with someone,” I repeated.

The words sounded strange coming out of my mouth, but not in a bad way. I just hadn’t said them out loud to anyone yet.

His expression darkened. “Since when?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

His stare narrowed. “Is it serious?”

The answer came more easily than I expected. “Yeah, it is.”

Even though I hadn’t said Rowan’s name, a small part of me wondered whether he’d be mad if he found out I’d told Devon I was with someone.

But it wasn’t like I’d outed us. I hadn’t told Devon anything beyond being in a relationship, and Rowan had made it clear he was waiting for me to go public anyway.

Still, Devon’s questioning pissed me off.

He looked at me for a long moment. “I didn’t know.”

I worried he might keep pushing, but then footsteps sounded at the end of the hallway, and Derek’s voice cut off any further conversation. “There he is!”

Derek, Mason, and Enzo were heading our way, and I was grateful for the interruption.

“Damn, Keaton.” Mason grinned. “You destroyed that guy. We’ve got to celebrate. You down?”

“Depends. Are you involved?” I smirked.

“Rude,” he grumbled, but the smile never left his face. “You knock a guy out, and suddenly you think you’re too good for your friends?”

Derek clapped me on the shoulder. “Ignore him. That was a good fight, man.”

“Yeah,” Enzo added. “That shit was hella clean.”

Some of the tension eased out of me, and I nodded. “Thanks.”

Mason’s gaze flicked between Devon and me, his interest putting me instantly on edge. As much as we teased Mason for being the group’s jokester, that dude had a tendency to notice shit others didn’t. The last thing I needed was him deciding he smelled drama.

I looked toward where they’d entered from. “Where’s Rowan?”

Derek blinked. “He didn’t already come see you?”

“No.” I kept my tone casual. “Thought he’d be with you guys.”

Mason shook his head. “Nah. He walked off before us.”

A flicker of annoyance hit me. “Where to?”

“He said he was coming back here,” Mason replied.

The irritation faded a bit, replaced by a twinge of worry. “Oh.”

“Yeah, I saw him go out the back entrance with his bag,” Enzo added.

He’d fought and won, and maybe he’d wanted to beat the crowds back to the hotel, so he left early. Still, that seemed unlikely.

I pulled out my phone and sent him a quick text:

Where are you?

Devon straightened, all business again. “All right, everybody, listen up.”

The guys turned toward him.

“We’re going out for dinner and drinks.” He pointed at us all with a sweeping gesture. “Titan had a good night. Keaton, Rowan, and Enzo all won, and we should celebrate.”

“I love it when you spend money on us.” Mason beamed.

“That doesn’t mean you get to order the whole damn menu.”

“Wow,” Mason said. “Way to ruin the speech.”

Devon ignored him. “Let’s go back to the hotel, shower, and meet in the lobby in an hour.”

The guys moved toward the hallway, while I went to change and down the protein shake Devon had given me. After I was dressed, I met up with the group, and we headed toward the exit. I checked my phone and saw no reply from Rowan.

We loaded into the passenger van Devon had arranged for the team and headed for the hotel. I tried not to look at my phone every thirty seconds during the drive, but I failed. By the time we pulled up to the hotel, I’d checked it at least six times.

Nothing.

Inside, the lobby was packed with a mix of event attendees and tourists who looked mildly alarmed by the number of bruised men entering the building.

We made our way to the elevators, and once on our floor, I lingered while the others headed to their rooms before walking down the hallway toward Rowan’s room.

We’d wanted to share, but we knew that would draw too much attention from the other guys.

Plus, having separate rooms allowed us to stay focused on the reason we were there, rather than getting distracted by each other.

I knocked, then waited a moment before knocking harder.

A knot began forming in my chest when he didn’t answer. Maybe he’d gone out. Maybe he had earbuds in. Maybe—

I texted him again:

You good?

My phone indicated the message had been delivered immediately, but Rowan still didn’t respond. After another minute of waiting, I decided to call.

It rang until voicemail picked up.

I disconnected the call and stared at the door.

This was ridiculous.

He was fine.

He had to be.

I rubbed a hand over my jaw and made my way back to my room to change for dinner, telling myself I absolutely wasn’t going to let my brain run wild.

Thirty minutes later, I was dressed and no less on edge.

I sent him another text:

Call me when you get this