Chapter 9
2019
I open the door to our flat. I knew that only one of us would move to Kyiv and live here, but I definitely didn't think that it would be me.
I twist the ring on my finger that Denys gave me. I couldn't take it off. I couldn't get rid of it, like all of Denys's other things.
I walk into the spacious kitchen. We should cook dinner together here. I would stand by the stove in Denys's T-shirt, and he would come up behind me and hug me by the waist. He would cover every part of my body with his kisses. He would make me feel what it's like to live in paradise.
These thoughts make my heart ache terribly. I'm starting to feel sick, but I hold myself in my hands, so I don't cry. I scan the flat with my red eyes, and my gaze falls on the small sofa in the middle.
There is almost no furniture here, because we wanted to choose everything together before arriving. I go to the couch and sit down. I wrap my arms around my waist and close my eyes.
My dreams. My future. My life. Everything is destroyed. Absolutely everything. This pain will never go away, it will haunt me for the rest of my life. Every morning when I open my eyes and every night when I go to sleep.
I take my phone out of my pocket. I go into messages and start texting him.
"I came to our flat. I like it, I really do. But I won't live here without you."
A year passed, and I never stopped texting him. Three hundred and sixty-five days have passed, and I still haven't been able to let go of this pain. It becomes difficult for me to breathe, my chest burns terribly. I no longer have the strength to stay in this flat. It was supposed to become our dream home, but it became my worst nightmare.