Chapter 15
W e drive up to the house. Sebastian parks his Mercedes and I open the mirror again to check my makeup. Although I don't put make up on often, and I especially don't put red lipstick on my lips, today is an exception.
I smooth out the creases in my short black skirt and adjust the plunging neckline of my short green top.
Usually, I dress classically or casually. It depends on the mood. However, in my wardrobe you can find both suits of different colours and many sweaters.
I get out of the car, Sebastian opens the window and looks out.
"Be careful, if you need something, just call. I will come for you at nine o'clock."
"At nine o'clock? Do I look like a nine-year-old to you?"
"No, but you look like a person who has an internship tomorrow at eight in the morning."
"You will take me from here no sooner than twelve."
"Be ready at ten," he says, closes the window and disappears from the car park.
"Amelia, Lily," Yara runs up to us. "Sebastian decided not to stay?" She has been paying too much attention to my brother lately.
"Well, no, he's busy." In fact, I wouldn't want him to stay here, but Sebastian promised that he would be somewhere nearby, he took his laptop with him and would try to work in his car.
"Okay," Yara laughs and pulls us into the kitchen.
I look around. The house is much bigger than it might seem from the outside. Everything is made of wood, the floor, walls, stairs, even tables and chairs. Although I admit, it looks expensive and refined.
The living room is simply huge, in the middle there is a brown leather sofa in the shape of the letter "C", but there is no more space left for it. The students sat down in the chairs next to the sofa, each of them had a drink in their hands, and it was clear on their faces that they had been here for a long time.
"What do you want to drink?" Adele asks as we approach the huge bar counter.
"Vodka with juice," answers Yara.
"I only have water, tomorrow is an internship, and on Monday there is a test, I need to prepare." I say.
"Like all of us," Adele wonders.
Yes, but if they fail the test, they will make a sad face at most. Their parents' money quickly takes over everything. As far as I know, neither Yara nor Adel plan to become doctors, and they are unlikely to finish higher education. According to them, they will find themselves some rich men, or as an extreme case, they will go to their parents' business, where, of course, they will also not have to do anything.
Lily, although her parents are also rich, being a doctor is still her childhood dream, so she also studies hard. But lately, due to the excessive influence of our friends, she forgets why she came to the university.
My mom did a good business by opening several flower shops in some big cities, now she plans to expand the network of shops to other cities. The death of my father forced her to immerse herself completely in work, so for quite a long time we barely kept afloat. But then everything went up. Mom can easily arrange a vacation somewhere on the shores of the Caribbean Sea, but this doesn’t allow me to completely neglect my studies.
And taking into account the fact that Sebastian began to support himself independently at the age of seventeen, and he has the largest IT company in the country, I want to get back on my feet as soon as possible. "Okay, I have wine."
"Everything you want is here," Adele smiles and kisses me on the cheek.
Her mood always improves when it comes to parties.
I feel a burning look on me, but I don't turn around, I hear footsteps that are getting louder and closer. I know exactly who these steps belong to.
"I didn't expect to see you here, darley," someone's heavy body hangs over me.
I take a breath. I try not to pay attention to the pleasant aroma that reaches me.
I'm turning back
"Why?" I say with surprise, clutching a glass in my hands.
"You don't look like a person who goes to such parties." His tone doesn’t indicate anything. Neither sincerity nor indifference, nor interest. He is like always.
"Maybe you don't know much about me, Danylo."
He smiles, comes closer, and I raise my head to look him straight in the eyes.
"What?"
"You need to call me by my name more often. I like the way you say it."
"Oh, fuck off, Bondar."
"I read you like an open book, darling," he whispers and puts his hands on my sides, blocking my exit.
"Oh really?" I take a sip from the glass to moisten my dry lips and calm down my frantic heartbeat a little. "Then maybe tell me something that I don't know about myself?"
Danylo crosses his arms on his chest and smiles, I don't pay attention to his muscles, which have just become several times larger, from this gesture. Because of course, I don't care.
"At school, you were the best, I noticed this when you knew the answer to every question that boss-doc asked, but something happened in your life that destroyed your little heart, and now you are trying to be arrogant and selfish," he comes closer again. "I don't know who destroyed your heart, Amelia, but you are not who you pretend to be, the time will come, and you will have to take off the mask," Danylo makes a satisfied face and seems to pat himself on the shoulders, he thinks he has exposed me.
And I hold back tears. How I hate this bastard. He thinks he knows everything about me, but he doesn't. He doesn't know the hell I've had to go through and continue to go through every day. He doesn't know what it's like to hate every part of your life and wake up thinking you want to die.
I take care of myself. I won't cry. Not today. Not because of Danylo. He is not worthy of my tears.
"Do you think I don't read you like an open book? You are a spoiled son of a father, who, to spite him, is dating an older woman. And really,
Bondar, what did you find in her?"
"You don't know what you are talking about." Now I read anger on his face.
Oh, is he angry? Perfectly.
"You too," I hiss through gritted teeth.
"Come on." He takes my hand and leads me up the stairs.
Fortunately, no one notices. His grip is so strong that I don't have the strength to break free. He opens someone's room and pushes me inside.
"What if someone noticed that you were taking me upstairs? What will your girl say, huh?" I cross my arms on my chest.
"What are you doing here, Amelia?" he stands straight like a soldier and also crosses his arms.
"Where? In this room? Let me think. I don't know, because some fucking idiot forced me here."
"No," he comes closer, I rest my legs on the sofa. "What are you doing at my party? In my house." In his house?
I shut my mouth. I didn't know it was his party.
He runs his hand down my bare shoulder, breathing heavily over me.
"Do you like to drive me crazy?"
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
"Do you like to play your games with me, darling?"
My heart beats faster because he speaks so slowly and quietly. This is him. He's the only one who drives me crazy.
"Why did you wear such a short skirt?"
His hand goes down to my skirt. I can feel his fingers on my skin.
He runs his finger over my lip.
I don't like it.
Well.
Maybe, I do, but I’m not going say it.
"Amelia," he whispers.
I am suffocated by what is happening between us now. I stop breathing.
I want to touch his lips with my lips. I want to feel what it's like to kiss Danylo Bondar and feel his tongue in my mouth. I want to see how deep I can take it.
And he wants it too. I can feel it. He runs his fingers over my bare thighs.
Soft.
Slow.
Killing.
I die and I’m revived with every touch. I want to get down on my knees and beg him to kiss me.
His hand rises higher.
A few more centimetres and I will explode .
"What are you doing, Bondar? I ask breathlessly.
"I don't know," he closes his eyes and leans his forehead against mine.
"I don't know, Ami."
He holds my hands in his, our fingers intertwine, and it's even more intimate than a kiss. I feel a tingle where his thumb is drawing circles. I'm drowning at this moment. Drowning in him.
"We can't," Danylo says, breathing hard.
"I know."
"I'm sorry."
And he seems to switch. Nothing remains of the Danylo who was there a few seconds ago. He lets me go and leaves the room.
And I continue to stand stunned by all this.
I take a breath, put myself in order and finally go downstairs.
Someone suddenly grabs my elbow and pulls me towards the couch. In a moment, I find myself sitting next to my friends, Danylo and his girlfriend, who is in her thirties or so and wants to seem like a teenager, but she doesn't do it well. More correctly, it doesn't work at all. Her open dress and bright make-up rather resemble a whore who does not respect herself.
Although if you look at her piercing gaze, which was staring into my eyes, and the gentle smile on her face, I must admit that she is beautiful.
Extremely beautiful. I don't know if she's ever been told this, but she looks a lot like Angelina Jolie. And although she seems strange to me, the way Danylo is looking at her now with a loving look makes me want to throw up.
This look should be mine.
"You are Amelia, right?" her hand touches my leg and I turn to face her.
"Yes, and you?" I'm trying to remember her name, but I can't.
"Zlatoslava," she smiles, "but you can call me Zlata."
I nod as a sign of a pleasant, or not so, acquaintance and return to Lily. Now the eyes of everyone present are focused on her. She fascinatingly tells a story that I have heard a hundred times, maybe more, so I no longer pretend to be surprised by such "unexpected" turns of events.
"And then we called a taxi and went home, it was actually very scary."
She fearfully mentions how some guys started chasing her and Yara at three o'clock in the morning when they were returning from the club. That's why I don't go to clubs anymore.
"I remember going to clubs with the girls to have fun," adds Zlata, "unforgettable times. "
The times of the Mesozoic era?
Amelia – 1, Zlata – 0.
"I suggest we can play something," and again Lily's voice attracts the attention of everyone present.
"I'm in," shouts Arthur and pulls Lily closer to him.
I'm not sure, but they seem to be dating after that night in our room. Unsure only because the word "date" is not in Lily's dictionary. Today it's Arthur, and tomorrow it's Ian and so on. I don't judge her for that.
Although sometimes I'm not sure that I can call Adele and Yara my friends. We are too different, we were born and raised in different worlds.
Their worlds are furnished in pink and candy floss is sold everywhere. And my world is black and filled with pain.
"Let's play in an overflowing glass," Adele laughs and raises the glass above her head.
I frown. What am I even doing here?
I promised Sebastian that I was done with alcohol. At least I try.
"Does everyone know the rules of the game?" asks Danylo.
He doesn't even look at me, and that makes my heart tingle unpleasantly. Why is he so strange?
Fortunately, I know the rules of this game. Unfortunately, I was the person who taught the girls this game, and many others. The first year was not easy, so it was necessary to have some fun.
The meaning of the game is that everyone in a circle adds some drink, and the one whose glass is overflowing must drink the entire contents of the glass.
"I'll start," Zlata gets up from Danylo's lap and goes to get a bottle of whiskey," let's start with something hot," she shouts and laughs.
And Danylo does not take his eyes off her, I can still see how he devours her with his eyes.
I'm definitely going to throw up now.
Danylo is next, and he pours vodka, then Yara adds cognac, and KJ adds apple juice.
"Well, disgusting," I grimace.
"Yes, the alcohol here is actually not mixed well," laughs Nazar.
"No, I'm talking about apple juice," I get goosebumps. "There is nothing worse than apple juice."
"And if we also add absinthe to it, it will be absolutely wonderful," laughs Lily.
I feel my stomach twist. I know it's my turn to drink it all.
I take a bottle of coke, it's unlikely to save the drink, but at least I'm trying. Everyone's staring at me, but I'm not giving up on the game, I'm probably going to throw up all my internal organs in the toilet tomorrow and then die all day.
I get up and empty the glass.
Alcohol burns my throat and I already feel sick. Terrible game, terrible rules, and I'm terrible because I taught the girls to play it.
"I need fresh air," I say and run out into the yard.
There is no one here. The best way to save yourself from tomorrow's torment is to throw up. But I can not. I'm all sweaty, but at the same time I'm cold, my ears are ringing and my head is spinning, but for some reason, I like this state.
I take a few deep breaths in and out, go to the bathroom and wash my face with cold water, it's much better.
I return just as Adele drinks the contents of the glass and everyone screams loudly.
My head is spinning, I barely reach my place and sit down. My eyes close, even though I try my best to open them. My eyelids get heavier and finally, I give up and fall asleep.
His arm fits perfectly around my waist, making it so easy for him to pull me to him.
"You are incredible," he whispers.
And although I hear it a thousand times every day, my cheeks are red as if for the first time.
I lean against him, inhale the pleasant aroma, I want to merge with him.
"My love," he runs his hand through my hair and lifts my head up," please, don't cry," Denys wipes a tear from my cheek.
"Don't go," I try to hold back crying, but tears are pouring down the river.
"Let me go, please." He takes a step back.
I extend my hand to him, but Denys does not take it, does not intertwine our fingers, as he always does, does not hug me and does not kiss me.
"I beg you," I cry. "Don't leave me."
"I'm not worthy to be with you," he moves away from me, and I feel as if I'm chained to the ground and can't take a single step. "But I love you, darling."
And he disappears, dissolves in the air, and with him my universe. I fall to my knees and hit the ground with my hand. Why is life so unfair?
"Amelia," someone shakes me. "Amelia," and mercilessly shouts in my ear.
I blow myself up. It was a dream. Just a dream. A dream that is actually a terrible reality.
"You fell asleep."
I raise my eyes at my friends, they need a few seconds to understand what it is.
"Come to me," Lily hugs me.
"My little girl," Yara hugs me.
"Everything will be fine. " Adele joins us.
"I will call Sebastian to pick us up."
The girls nod and help me up. I involuntarily make eye contact with Danylo, he stops talking to Zlata and looks me straight in the eyes. He sees the pain that destroys me from the inside and tightens his lips.
Maybe he wants to take back all those nasty words he said to me a few hours ago, but it won't change anything. I don't care about him and what he thinks. I don't care if he regrets what he said or not.
I scroll through the dream from beginning to end.
Darling.
Darling.
Darling.
Denys never called me that.
When it finally dawns on me, who I actually dreamed about today. In whose arms I really wanted to be, then I'm already running to the toilet to throw up everything I ate.
For the first time in many years, I did not dream about Denys, it was Danylo .