Chapter 22
"What are you thinking about?" Sebastian's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
He's invited me to breakfast at our favourite restaurant today, since it's the first time in a month that I'm off on a Sunday.
"Nothing."
"Is something bothering you?"
"No, why would you think that?"
"You've changed."
"And why have I changed?"
"I don't know, but you've stopped skipping classes, and I can see that the internship has done you good."
"It’s true," I agree and take a sip of my juice, "the internship has really done me good."
"I'm glad to hear that." Sebastian smiles. "But you seem to be thinking about something all the time, don't you? Is something bothering you?" Danylo. He bothers me all the time.
"No," I lie. "What's new with you?" and I quickly change the subject.
"Work, home. No relationships."
"You stay at home almost all the time, and you don't have time for relationships?"
"First of all," he holds up a finger, "I don't just stay at home, I work, and secondly, why do you care?"
"I don't, I just want you to be happy."
"I am happy, Amelia, especially when you are."
I smile and nod. I'm grateful to Sebastian for staying in Kyiv for me, grateful that he's always there for me, and I'm terribly sorry that I never appreciate what I have.
"By the way, how are things going with your firm? How long has it been since you founded it? A year?"
"We're in the top ten." Sebastian doesn't brag at all.
"Top ten?" I open my mouth wide in surprise.
"Yeah," he smiles at me.
"And where do you stand in the top ten?"
"First."
"First?" I repeated. "Why didn't you say that?"
"Because there is nothing to congratulate. We need to wait until we are the best company in the world."
Sebastian founded an IT company last year. At first, he had five employees, and now he has expanded to a hundred employees.
And he didn't even tell me anything.
"My brother is a millionaire, and I live in a dorm."
Of course, I'm joking. Sebastian offered me to rent an apartment, but I refused. I want to make it on my own.
"This is offensive. I'm a billionaire," a smug smile spreads across his face.
"Where did you get your smarts from?
"It's not about intelligence, it's about hard work. Better tell me, how was your date with Timur?
I think back to our evening three days ago and smile.
"He's nice," I say.
"Cute enough that you're willing to give it a shot?
"I said he was cute, not a miracle."
"So? You're just talking?"
We just talk every minute.
By the way, the new text message is from him again.
Him : I'm free in the evening. Will you meet me? Miss you.
Me : Okay. Pick me up at six. Miss you.
"And you always smile like an idiot when you talk to just friends?" I wipe my big smile off my face and look at Sebastian:
"Fuck off."
He shakes his head, and I continue to text Timur.
I know that I am not one hundred percent in love with him, and I know that our kiss under the door of my room means nothing. But I don't know exactly why I need him so much.
"By the way, have you heard news from Danylo?" I stop texting.
"No, why?" I answer casually.
"He's getting married."
My heart makes a quantum leap.
"What do you mean? How do you know?" I take another sip of juice so that my voice doesn't sound so hoarse.
"We're kind of friends."
"You're friends?" I'm surprised.
"Yes, Amelia, I can't have friends?"
"No, I just didn't know, that's all." Sebastian nods.
I feel my hands start to sweat. I feel like I'm going to throw up. Danylo is getting married?
Danylo, who accused me of not being able to get my image out of his head, is getting married.
Danylo, who knows almost all my secrets, is getting married?
"And when is the wedding?"
"They don't know yet, but probably in the winter."
Winter is just around the corner. Why are they in such a hurry?
Our food is brought to us, and I don't speak to Sebastian anymore. I pretend to be too engrossed in eating my toast, and he realises that the moment has come when I don't feel like talking. So we sit in complete silence.
Sebastian was the only one after Denys who always understood me. He knew that if I was silent, he didn't need to talk to me, unlike girls who constantly make me talk or other guys who feel uncomfortable at such moments.
He was the only one until I met Danylo. He was right that he reads me like an open book. But I don't know where he got the ability to read such complicated books.
Sebastian drives me to the dormitory after our breakfast.
"If there is anything you need, call me." I nod.
"Love you, little."
"Love you too."
It's Sunday, which means the girls are sleeping it off at someone's house after last night's clubbing, so I'll have time to spend the day alone before my date with Timur. Which, of course, makes me very happy.
As I approach the room, I see someone's body at our door and slow down a bit. He is leaning on the door, holding something in his hands.
I don't need any drunkards in the morning.
"Hey," I shout, afraid to approach.
But there is no answer. I put all my strength into my fist and come closer.
The face is too familiar.
"Danylo?" I kneel down.
His eyes are closed, an empty bottle of whiskey in his hands.
"Danylo." I shake him by the shoulders.
"Amelia." He opens his eyes.
I always like the way he says my name. In a special way, like I mean something to him.
"I've been looking for you." He was looking for me?
"Why?"
"I wanted to talk to you."
"At nine in the morning?"
"Where were you all morning? I know you didn't go to work."
"Don't tell me you went to the hospital looking like that."
"I won't tell you," he shakes his head, his drunken voice sounding even funnier than usual.
"Get up," I order.
This, of course, is very difficult for him, so I help him up.
His heavy body leaned on me, and I could barely stand on my feet.
I open the door, and we go into the room. I sit down on my bed, and he plops down next to me.
"Well?" I insist.
"What?" Danylo is surprised.
"What did you want to talk about?"
"Oh," he stops, "I'm getting married, Amelia." I clench my teeth. I don't know how to react to this.
Am I happy for him?
Yes, I am.
Do I like the fact that he will soon have a family?
No.
Most likely, then, the answer to the first question is also negative. But I can't find an explanation for this. Not yet.
"You won't even congratulate me?"
"Congratulations," I reply briefly, "if that's all, then it's time for you to go home to your wife, and I still have a lot of work to do."
"But I don't want to go home."
My heart stops. I don't understand why I'm reacting like this.
"Can I lie down for a while, and then we'll talk?" "Danylo, I'm afraid your wife won't understand this." "She's not my wife yet," he replies sharply.
"It doesn't matter, you'll be married soon."
"That's the problem," he clenches his jaw as he always does.
I get out of bed, but someone's hand stops me.
"Don't go," Danylo's voice sounds so desperate.
"I'm not going anywhere, it's my room."
"Can I stay?" his eyes look at me pleadingly.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
And while there may be a tiny part of me that wants him to stay, I know it's not right.
"I promise I will behave myself." "I hope so," I smile.
Danylo stands up and takes off his jumper, part of his T-shirt accidentally rises up and I can see his abs.
I take a deep breath.
Do people even have such abs?
I believe that statues of Greek gods were built while looking at him. I don't have enough air. How can I get what I just saw out of my head? I notice his tattoo again in the form of a lightning bolt, which stretches from his lower abdomen to the end of his right hand.
Although I saw only one percent of everything, it was enough to make me want to see more.
I recall that I had seen Danylo naked before, but at the time it didn't seem like something... special?
I take another deep breath.
Danylo lies down on my bed, and within a few minutes he is fall asleep. I never realised how small my bed was, especially compared to him. I also forgot how attractive it is to have a guy lying on your bed.
I want to kick myself for thinking that. I sit down on Lily's bed and pick up a book. Maybe at least the pages of a novel will help me escape from this reality.
I don't know how long Danylo has been sleeping, but I'm already halfway through the book, so I suspect it's lunchtime.
Danylo opens his eyes and pulls himself up, yawns loudly, and finally gets out of bed.
"Damn," he curses, "how did I get here?"
"That's what I'd like to ask you," I put the book aside and get up as well.
Danylo comes closer.
"Let's pretend this didn't happen."
"I am the last person in this world who would want to tell anyone that you slept on my bed. Especially since you're getting married soon." "So you already know." I'm surprised.
"You told me that."
"What else?" He looks away.
I'm surprised again. Danylo is too weird.
"Nothing, did you want to tell me anything else?"
"No," he answers quickly. "I have to go," Danylo points to the door.
"Yeah, I think you should go."
"See you later," he says and grabs all his things.
"I don't think so."
Danylo stops in mid-step.
"Why not?"
"We should stay as far away from each other as possible, Danylo, it's better for everyone."
He looked me straight in the eye and I felt a pain in my heart, I want to take back my words, but it's too late, he nods and leave my room.
And I feel empty. As if my airflow has been taken away from me. Or the sun. Or the meaning of life.
No. Something much more important was taken from me.
Danylo was taken from me.
But how can I feel empty because of someone who never really belonged to me?