11th November 2018
That day became my worst nightmare. That day, I ruined the destinies of at least two people.
I was drunk, I shouldn't have got into the car with Timur, but something inside took over me and I felt invulnerable. And so it was, I escaped with only a few injuries, and he lost his life.
And she lost him.
When I first saw her in the hospital, it was hard to recognise her as a happy girl. Her eyes are bruised, her face is emaciated, but her teary green eyes are matched by long dark hair. She looked like an angel, although she acted like the complete opposite.
That day, I met another person who helped me move on.
Her brother.
Sebastian was an exact copy of that little girl. The same plump red lips and a small nose. I didn't know why he came to my ward, I thought he wanted to kill me.
"You took his life, but you saved her," he said quietly and pushed a chair to my bed.
If he had known how much I hated myself at that moment, if he had known that the therapist thought I was suicidal, he would never have spoken to me.
But he didn't know, so we became best friends.
I'm suffocating.
I don't have enough air to breathe.
My head spins.
I breathe hard and look around. It was all a lie. Every second of our acquaintance. Every day spent. Every kiss. All.
I know I should stop, but I read on.