16
SHIVANI
I am freaking out. I won’t say I’m a particularly bad cook because, during big occasions at my parents' house, I used to be in charge of the kitchen. That was the only time they ever put me in control of food . But I had help back there. Maa did ask if I needed any help today too, but my dumb self said no. I just didn’t want to trouble anyone.
I asked Maa what I should cook, and she left it entirely up to me.
Now the issue is—I’ve never had the power to make decisions, so obviously, when I have to, I get confused.
Like now. Even on the big occasions—back at my parents' house, I was already told what to make.
That's why it was really confusing when Maa left everything on me.
So I’ve decided to make puri , aloo ki sabzi , and suji ka halwa . That should be enough, right? I should have asked Maa while she was still in the kitchen.
When I woke up today, Rudraksh wasn’t in bed, and to be honest, I was a little disappointed. I mean, it’s our first day as a married couple, and I didn’t even get to see his face. But there was a note on the side table. For which I'd reached out immediately and opened it. It read:
I am in the gym. Good morning.
You look beautiful even in your sleep.
-R.
I may have reread the note way too many times. Embarrassingly many times. His handwriting isn’t very neat—it’s readable, though. But I have to admit: this man, whom I barely even know, somehow has the ability to make me blush without even being in the same room as me.
I got ready after wasting enough minutes on which saree to wear, because for almost my entire life, choice wasn't something I had. My mother usually picked my clothes for important occasions; that's why it was hard for me to choose.
When I finally came downstairs, I found only Dadaji sitting on his chair, reading the newspaper.
I greeted him with a small smile, and he smiled at me warmly.
Then Maa walked in and guided me to the kitchen.
It’s my pehli rasoi , and she showed me where everything was.
She told me not to worry—that even if I made just toast and butter, it would be fine. But obviously, I couldn’t do that.
It's my pehli rasoi.
So here I am, frying puris.
Oh, it is so not easy to cook in a saree, especially when it’s this hot. I feel like I'm frying myself in this pan instead of puris . Okay, that was a terrible joke. Or maybe it’s not a joke at all—it might just be the reality.
From my peripheral vision, I see Aditi walk in, still in her pajamas. I really like her, but at this moment, I’m jealous. I wish I could roam around like that, but obviously, I can’t—and I wouldn’t even if I were allowed. I wouldn’t want people to see me like that. What if they don’t like me?
“Sweet bhabhi, do you need any help?” she asks, hugging me. I stiffen a bit, my shoulders go rigid when she tightens her arm around me—I’m not a hugger. I have never been hugged before; that's why I am not a fan of physical touch.
“No, Aditi. But thank you for asking,” I say, trying to hide my irritation.
“What are you making?” she asks, rubbing her eyes, pulling away from me, and leaning over the kitchen slab.
“Ow, ow!” She shrieks out suddenly, startling me in the process, and I look behind to see Chachi pulling Aditi’s ear.
“Why don’t you go and bathe first?” she says, pulling her far away from the kitchen slab. Someone please pull me away from this heating volcano, I cry out mentally, but continue frying puri.
“What is everyone’s obsession with pulling my ears? I’m going to complain to Dadu,” Aditi complains and stomps out of the kitchen.
“Leave her be, beta. Are you doing alright? Do you need help?” Chachi asks me as she wanders her eyes on the slab and pats my shoulder gently.
“Thank you, Chachi. I am fine, and it’s done.” I say with a smile, turning back to the pan as I turn off the stove. I'm a little happy now.
She nods and leaves. I like how everyone, one by one, is coming in to check on me.
I quickly put everything into containers and take it out to the dining table, setting it up.
Dadaji is the first one to come in, followed by everyone else—except my husband.
Saying I’m disappointed, yet again, would be an understatement.
The way he was so sweet, gentle, and caring yesterday, I thought he’d be here with me.
But apparently, I guess I am reading too much into it.
I start serving Dadaji, but he holds up his hand, and I pause. “We can all serve ourselves, beta. You should sit down too,” he says.
“Yes, you must be tired from all that cooking, bhabhi.” Aarav says and shakes his head. “I really don't know how you ladies get up early and do this all. I’m still sleepy.” Aarav adds with a sigh.
“And you probably didn’t get much sleep last night anyway,” Aditi says, wiggling her eyebrows. Siddhant chokes on the water he’s drinking. Heat crawls over to me, and I freeze on the spot.
Chachi hits her on the head instantly and gives her a glare. Aditi just nods and smiles cheekily, looking utterly unfazed. I can only imagine how red I must look. How can she say stuff like that in front of everyone?
I hear sharp footsteps and glance toward the staircase. Rudraksh glides down the stairs in his suit, looking absolutely dashing.
Wow.
His eyes find mine as he walks toward the table. He sits down without breaking eye contact. Then he gives me a once-over, and I shy away under his intense gaze.
“You can sit beside Raksh, beta,” Chachi says and smiles at me.
I nod and do as I’m told. I don’t know why I’m so nervous.
Maybe because we slept in the same bed yesterday?
I literally fell asleep in his arms, and he hasn’t spoken to me since.
Is he mad? Did I say or do something inappropriate?
I don’t know. I’ve never slept beside someone before—not even my parents.
What if I sleepwalked? Or talked in my sleep? Or what if I was too heavy for him?
“Shivani?” I hear Maa call. Her eyes are full of concern as she stares at me.
“Take your food, beta,” she says gently, and I nod at her as I take a puri with some aloo sabzi but don't eat it.
Anxiety grips my heart as I grip the edge of the table, watching as Dadaji takes the first bite. His expression remains neutral, and I can’t tell if that’s good or bad.
Then Chachi tastes the halwa. No smile. No comment. My heart thuds louder. What if it’s too sweet? Rudraksh hasn’t even touched his food.
“Bhabhi, what is this?” Aarav asks. Panic instantly settles in my chest, and I straighten in my chair, my grip tightening on the edge. My breathing comes out shallow as I try to breathe calmly.
“Yes, bhabhi, we didn’t know you…” Aryan starts to say, but Siddhant nudges him hard.
I feel Rudraksh’s hand on my thigh. If he’s trying to comfort me, it’s not working.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Dadaji says, and my head snaps at him, waiting for him to continue his words.
“The food is very delicious, beta.” He takes out an envelope and hands it to Rudraksh, who passes it to me. “It’s your pehli rasoi. You deserve it, beta.” He smiles warmly.
“Here you go, beta. We’re lucky to have you here,” Papa says, handing me an envelope as well.
“Thank you for the food, bhabhi. It’s the best—well, after Maa and Badi Maa, obviously.” Aarav adds. And I finally let out a breath of relief. They really scared me.
“Look how pale she turned,” Chachi says and slaps Aarav’s shoulder.
“Your Papa did the same thing to me when it was my first rasoi,” Maa says, glaring at Papa, who just gives her a playful grin.
I finally look at Rudraksh, hoping for his review.
But he doesn’t even look at me—he’s too busy eating.
I hear a gasp from the other side of the table.
I see Siddhant holding his chest dramatically, pretending to be shocked.
He opens his mouth to say something, but Aryan stops him.
They both smile at me, but it’s clearly fake.
I’m confused, but I don’t say anything. I make a mental note to ask them later.
I glance at Rudraksh again. He’s still eating.
But then he leans a little closer and whispers in my ear, “You look beautiful.” My cheeks heat up instantly.
As nice as it feels to hear that, it’s not what I was expecting.
I wanted to know if he liked the food, but I guess I’m not getting that answer today.
I finally start eating when Maa notices my plate and comments, “That’s such a small portion, Shivani. Take a bit more, beta.”
I look up at her, then back down at my plate. I am hungry, but at home, I used to sneak into the kitchen after meals. My mother didn’t let me eat much—she was concerned about my weight. I’ve always been on the heavier side. Slow metabolism.
So now, I just can’t eat with an audience. Whenever I do, I feel like everyone’s watching me, silently judging how I don’t deserve to eat so much. I know no one actually cares, but my brain won’t let me believe it.
“I’m done, Maa,” I say. But before she can respond, Rudraksh places two more puris on my plate, and I turn to him as I stare at him, wide-eyed.
“Eat,” he whispers. “And come to my office later.” Then, he announces, louder “I have some work. I’ll be in my office.”
When everyone finishes eating, Maa tells me there’s no need to clean up—the helpers will take care of it.
I walk up the staircase but stop halfway when I see Aryan and Siddhant heading down. I walk back to them and poke Siddhant on the shoulder. He turns around and passes me a smile.
“Hello, bhabhi ji,” he says. Aryan turns around too.
“I had a question,” I say, getting to the point.
“We’re at your service. How can we help?” Siddhant says, clearly enjoying the theatrics.
“I just wanted to ask… Why did you react that way at the dining table? The gasp, the look you exchanged—I didn’t understand.”
“Well, that… um…” Aryan hesitates, "Our minds were blown by the food you made." He exclaims.
I narrow my eyes, looking between them. “You’re lying. It’s okay if you don’t want to answer. I’ll leave.”
“Okay, fine,” Siddhant relents. I smile—they’re such softies.
“It’s just that… Raksh never eats greasy food. It was a surprise to see him gulping down everything so fast, with zero complaints.”
I stare at them, confused. Is that why he didn't say a word about my food? Maybe he didn't like it. But why doesn’t he eat oily food? I mean, I get it—it’s unhealthy, but once in a while should be fine, right?
I don’t ask them that, though. I think I’ll ask Rudraksh myself.