26
SHIVANI
I’m embarrassed.
I don’t know how I’ll face everyone. What will they think—that I am a liar? I’m still awkward around Rudraksh—but he’s not. He never once shut me down. In fact, he told me I was beautiful. He thinks I’m beautiful.
Tears sting my eyes. He also said he likes me—not a full-blown confession, but it slipped out, maybe. I know what I did was wrong, but I don’t regret it. My heart skips a beat as I remember his words:
‘I will always like you, Shivani. Whether you’re thin, fat, tall, or short—I don’t care. You’re beautiful, inside and out.’
The car comes to a halt, jerking me out of my thoughts. The driver steps out and opens the door for Rudraksh, but his eyes are on me. He doesn’t move. Instead, he instructs the driver to give us some privacy.
“Shivani?” he says gently.
I don’t know. I don’t want to go in. I don’t want people to think I’m weak. I know I am—I just don’t want to see it in their eyes. This is the only place I’ve ever felt loved. Like I mattered. Like my opinions meant something. And now, I don’t want their sympathy.
“Darling, what is it?” He asks, holding my hand to stop me from fidgeting.
“What will they think about me?” I ask quietly.
He rubs his thumb across my palm. “What did I explain to you? You don’t need to think about what others say, okay?”
But that’s not possible for me. I’m not as strong as him. “They’re not just others… they’re your family.”
He doesn’t speak for a moment. Then he lifts my chin gently.
“Our family, Shivani. Our family. Right?” He says, his voice soft but steady.
I look into his eyes. This man really believes that what’s his is mine. My parents never had that kind of relationship. I’ve only read about it in books—it felt fictional. But he makes me believe in good things. In love, maybe . I nod.
“And since they’re your family, they’ll never judge you. They’ll support you. That’s what family does. Okay?”
A tear escapes my eye, and he wipes it away. Then he pulls me into a hug. A firm and assuring hug. Hug full of warmth, no facade, and I hold on to his shirt tightly.
“But don’t worry. No one knows. Only Aarav does, and I told him to say you fainted because of the heat. Okay?”
I look up at him. Rudraksh hates lies, and he still lied for me.
He smiles softly and brushes back strands of hair from my damp face.
I can’t help but sob harder—not from embarrassment now, but from the overwhelming feeling that I have a husband who actually thinks about my feelings.
I hug him tighter—tight enough to probably suffocate him.
And at this moment, I don’t care how I look.
Well, partly because it’s dark and he can’t see my face clearly, but also because I know… he wouldn’t look at me any differently.
“Come on, let’s go. You need to rest,” his grip tightens on my hand as he assures me and gestures towards the car door. He gets out of the car and holds out a hand for me.
I take it.
“Oh my god, Shivani, you look so weak,” Maa exclaims with concern the moment I step inside. Dadaji is right behind her. Maa grabs my hand and pulls me along so quickly that I have to let go of Rudraksh’s hand.
“Come, sit here. I’ll bring you some lemonade,” she says, rushing to the kitchen, and Chachi follows her.
Dadaji sits next to me, his eyes full of concern. He looks up at Rudraksh. “What did the doctor say?”
Rudraksh lies smoothly, keeping his eyes on me. “She needs to rest. Stay hydrated and eat well.”
Maa returns with a glass of lemonade. I don’t even like it, but I drink it anyway. I shouldn’t even think about it. They’re all here—worried about me. Rudraksh was right. This is my home too.
“Raksh, take her upstairs. She should sleep now,” Dadaji says.
I get up, wish everyone good night, and walk upstairs with Rudraksh.
Once we’re in our room, he tells me to change into my nightsuit. When I’m done and come out, he’s gone. Disappointment bubbles inside me, but I can’t blame him. My stupidity cost him a whole day of work. He’s probably in his office.
I crawl into bed, drained—body and soul. Five minutes pass, and I’m just lying there, staring into the dark, thinking about how embarrassing I’ve been.
A soft knock at the door pulls me out of my spiral. Before I can sit up or say, Come in, the door opens. Rudraksh stands there with a plate in his hand. The smell hits me instantly— Chloe . One of my favorites.
He walks over and sits at the edge of the bed. “I brought your dinner up,” he says as he breaks a bite of puri, dips it in the chole, and holds it out to me. I stare at him, wide-eyed.
Is he… feeding me?
“Eat it, Shivani,” he calls, his eyes gleaming under the dim light.
I slowly open my mouth and take the bite. It’s heavenly. A small moan escapes me, and I look at him in horror.
His eyes darken, pupils dilating.
“You’re hungry,” he says the obvious in a husky voice that sends a shiver down my spine. He offers another bite, and I chew it slowly.
“Can you give me smaller bites?” I whisper. “My mouth can’t fit all that.”
His hand on the puri freezes. His eyes glint with a mix of desire and amusement. “Your mouth can’t fit all that, huh?”
My cheeks flush, and I smack his chest. “Get your mind out of the gutter.” He chuckles and continues feeding me.
“You won’t eat?” I ask.
“You know I don’t like oily stuff. Maa made me a sandwich. I’ll eat later.”
He feeds me another bite, and another moan escapes.
“Careful, darling,” he murmurs, voice dropping low. “You’re making me jealous of the chole now.”
I say nothing, completely consumed by his words. How does he say these things so easily? He’s so shameless.
When I’m done, he gets up as he looks at me and tells me. “I’ll change and come to bed, okay?”
“Your dinner?” I ask.
“I’ll eat later. I’ve got work, but I just wanted to make sure you sleep well.”
He disappears into the closet. I watch him go, and guilt creeps in again. He does so much for me. Calling myself a burden would be an insult to all that he’s done.
He comes back wearing a black shirt and grey sweatpants—his usual sleepwear. He looks… delicious . What the hell, Shivani? Not the time to think about that, Shivani. But it’s hard not to when he’s this close.
I’m still sitting in the same spot, lost in thought, when he walks over and climbs onto the bed, sitting beside me silently.
The silence between us is thick, heavy with something I can’t name. Finally, he breaks it.
“Lie down, baby,” he says softly but firmly. I obey, lying beside him. Butterflies swirl in my stomach at his command.
He tugs me gently into his chest, his hand splaying protectively over my back. His heartbeat thuds softly under my cheek—steady, anchoring me—and mine thuds against my ribs. Loud and clear.
Nuzzling into my hair, he whispers, “Don’t ever do this again. Your health matters more than anything.”
He tightens his grip, and it’s both comforting and a little possessive.
“Promise me,” he says, his breath warm against my ear, “you won’t skip meals or starve yourself again.” His voice drops with command as his breath ghosts over my skin.
A shiver runs down my spine. I nod with assurance. “I promise,” I whisper.
He pulls me even closer, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on my back.
“I’m sorry,” I say, guilt bubbling up again. I hated how tense he looked at the hospital. I want to be his peace, not his stress.
“I overthink a lot,” I admit.
“It’s okay. I’ll over-explain,” he replies near my ear. “A lot,” he adds, and I shudder.
“My mother probably didn’t mean anything… It was just my mind playing tricks,” I lie. I can’t let him go near her. She’ll tell my father, and I don’t want to face him. I don’t want Rudraksh to get hurt either.
“She just wants what’s best for me,” I add quickly.
“Let’s sleep, Shivani,” is all he says.
Why does it feel like he doesn’t believe me?
I hate lying to him, but I can’t risk it—not yet. Not when I don’t even know how deep my parents’ manipulation runs. I will tell him everything one day, when I know it’s safe.
When I know he’s safe.