37
SHIVANI
It’s been four days since Rudraksh started coming home late from the office.
Worry claws my heart, but I tone it down.
He must be stuck at work, and I should try harder to motivate him, not to pull him back down.
It’s been a wonderful month. I feel lighter and safer now that my husband knows everything.
He doesn't look at me any differently. He doesn’t treat me like I’m fragile.
He still kisses me deeply, passionately.
He still holds me tightly when he wants to.
He hasn’t changed how he treats me at all.
No one has. Maa and Chachi did cry when Rudraksh told them everything.
But since then, they’ve been the same—showering me with love, like always.
It's not like nothing has changed. Of course, there have been changes. Everyone insists I eat more, claiming I don’t eat like an adult.
So now, I’m eating more, even though that's hard because my appetite is not that large, but I like the pampering. It’s healing me slowly.
I even went shopping with Chachi and Aditi.
They said I should explore my own style instead of wearing what my mother picked out for me.
So, I bought a whole new wardrobe—because they threw out everything I brought from my parents' home.
The biggest surprise was Rudraksh hiring Madhav Uncle. I missed him a lot. Although I do wonder how he made my father agree to that. But now, it feels like I have everything I ever wanted. All of these have been good changes.
But for the past few days, I’ve barely seen Rudra.
And even though I trust him completely, my mind still plays its dirty tricks.
Deep down, there’s a voice that whispers I’m not enough for him.
Now that he knows everything, maybe he does see me as a weak, fragile person; maybe I am a burden.
He’s told me many times that he wants me.
So, I try to fight those thoughts, and most of the time I win.
But I can’t help it—I don’t want to be dependent on him entirely.
And yet, the way he looks at me, the way he holds me—it all matters to me.
He once told me that his opinion, or anyone’s for that matter, doesn’t define my worth. I know that’s true. But I can’t change overnight. I’ve always evaluated myself through my parents’ eyes. And now, I’ve replaced them with Rudra.
I shake my head to come out of the train of thoughts as my eyes wander to the clock.
It’s almost midnight. I try to distract myself with a book.
The TV. But every time, my thoughts drift back to Rudraksh.
I wonder where he is. Why is he out so late?
I know it sounds crazy, but the fear of abandonment and losing him eats away at me.
I close my eyes, trying to push away the doubts and those voices that say I’m not good enough.
It’s a battle I fight alone. I don’t want to burden him with my insecurities. But the fight feels like a losing one. The sound of the door opening jolts me from my thoughts.
I look up and find Rudraksh walking in, his suit jacket slightly loose. My heart skips a beat as he walks over to me, his expression unreadable. “You’re still awake?” he asks, sitting next to me. His voice comes out tired and gruff.
I nod and close the book on my lap. “I couldn’t sleep,” I admit softly. My heart races with a million questions, but I don’t know how to ask them without sounding like a needy, anxious wife.
Rudraksh leans back on the couch, his eyes studying me. “Is everything okay?” He asks, his voice full of concern as he moves closer, resting his hand lightly on my thigh.
His touch ignites a shiver in my body. The warmth of his hand sends a jolt through me.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” I say with a forced smile.
He sees the doubt in my eyes. His expression softens as he cups my chin gently and tilts my face up. “You’re lying,” he calls out firmly. “I can see it in your eyes.”
“God, how do you read me so easily?” I chuckle.
“You know what my favorite part of your body is?” He asks, his thumb tracing my cheek, as I narrow my eyes at him.
“What?” I whisper.
“Your eyes,” he murmurs. “They’re like windows to your soul. I can always tell you’re overthinking, even when you try to hide it.”
I blush at his words, feeling vulnerable. “You’re too good at reading me,” I complain with a playful pout. “Not fair.”
Rudraksh laughs, his eyes twinkling. “Life’s not fair, darling. And besides, I enjoy reading you. It’s like a beautiful mystery—figuring out what goes on in that pretty little head of yours.”
I gasp with wide eyes. “Are you calling my head little?”
His face morphs from playful to slightly panicked. “No! Of course not. That’s not what I meant. Your head is… perfectly sized. Definitely not small!”
I try to look serious, but I can’t hold it in and burst into laughter. He looks so adorably flustered. “Oh, seems like I’m not that easy to read after all,” I giggle, and his eyes narrow playfully.
“You’re trying to mess with me, darling.” Before he can trap me in his arms, I leap off the couch and run, my heart racing.
I hear him growl playfully behind me, chasing me. “Where will you go? You’ll have to come back to me anyway,” he calls out.
My heart stutters. I falter for a moment, and he swoops in, lifting me bridal style. I shriek, covering my mouth.
“Put me down!”
He grins. “No chance, darling. And no, you’re not heavy—don’t even start thinking about that!” He leans in and kisses my nose.
“Why do you do this?” I huff.
“What did I do?” He questions, clearly confused.
“You say these things, and I forget everything!” I pout.
He chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he walks into our bedroom, still holding me. Gently, he places me on the bed, and I scoot over to give him space. He lies down beside me, his eyes locked on mine, and my heart flips under the weight of his gaze.
“Now, tell me what you were thinking,” he demands, pulling me into his arms.
I sink into his embrace, my hand resting over his heart. Leisurely, I trace circles on his chest with my fingertip. He tightens his hold around me.
“I was just thinking…” My voice trails off.
“Just thinking what?” He prompts.
I take a breath, contemplating my thoughts.
His eyes reassure me. “I barely saw you these last few days,” my words come out in a whisper.
“I didn’t want to seem clingy or insecure.
But my mind keeps spiraling. I felt like maybe you were tired of me.
I know that’s not true—but that’s how I think, and I hate it. ”
He pulls me closer, wrapping his arms tighter around me. “As a matter of fact,” he says, “I want you to be a clingy wife.”
I blink at him, confused. “I’m serious,” he adds with a grin. “I love knowing you want me close. That you want my attention.”
He kisses my forehead, continuing his words. “So don’t ever think you’re being too clingy, darling. I enjoy having you all to myself.”
I blush, swatting his chest, as heat crawls up to me. He laughs, running his hand soothingly up and down my back. “But,” he adds, his voice softer now, “I’m sorry I’ve been away so much.”
He hesitates for a second, then smiles. “You know what? I’m taking you somewhere.”
“Now?” I ask, surprised. It’s late.
He smooths the frown on my forehead with his thumb. “Don’t overthink it. Let’s go,” he says, offering his hand.
I let him pull me up from the bed, my heart fluttering. “But where are we going?” I ask as he leads me out.
He grins mischievously but doesn't tell me. “It’s a surprise. Trust me.”
He takes my hand, and we walk down the stairs. I admire his beautiful side profile. I am always in awe. How can someone be so handsome?
We reach his car, and he opens the passenger door for me. Quickly, I climb in, and he joins me from the other side.
“Buckle up,” he says. “You’re going to love this.”
I do as he says, and we drive through the quiet streets, city lights twinkling like little fireflies. I steal glances at him—his face lit softly by the dashboard lights, his hand resting casually on the wheel. His other hand slips onto my thigh, breaking my thoughts, and my heart races.
I recognize the road, and I narrow my eyes. “Are you taking me to your office?”
He laughs and nods.
I gasp, complaining to him. “I can’t believe this.” I fold my arms and huff, pretending to sulk.
He doesn’t respond as he turns the car into the parking lot. He climbs out of the car, jogs to my side, and opens the door. I narrow my eyes at him. But he just smiles, amused.
“Come on,” he says. “I have something to show you.” I give my hand to him, and he pulls me out as we walk inside.
We take his private lift that leads to his office. The lift reaches its destination, and the doors slide open, revealing the opulent interior.
The city skyline gleams outside the tall windows, like diamonds scattered across the night. He pulls me toward the wall, and I look at him, confused.
"You remember telling me once it’s your dream to have a library of your own? With a good view and good coffee?" He asks, his eyes full of warmth.
I nod, my face lighting up at the memory.
It was late at night, and I could not sleep.
He woke up, and when he saw that I was unable to sleep, we talked throughout the night.
One of my favorite things to do is to talk to him.
It was amazing. Although I did pay the consequences, the number of times I yawned the next day was probably unhealthy, and so was Aditi's teasing.
“Yes,” I whisper, the thought of that old conversation making my chest feel warm.
“Well then…” he says, pressing a button.
The wall opens up—startling me—and I step inside, breath catching in my throat.
The room is stunning. Rows of empty shelves line the walls, waiting to be filled.
Right by the window sits a cozy-looking couch, the kind made for curling up with a blanket and a book.
The city lights spill into the space, making it look even more magical.
“I’m yet to buy all the books,” he casually informs me. “I asked Aditi for a list, but obviously, she hasn’t given it to me yet. She says it’s too big.” He completes the words, trailing off into the empty library.
I stare at him, completely dumbfounded.
“I was busy with this, my wife,” he adds with a small smile tugging at his lips.
A lump forms in my throat as I take in the beautiful room, overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness behind it. “Rudra… this is… unbelievable,” I whisper, still trying to process it.
He hugs me from behind, his face resting on my shoulder. “It shouldn’t be that unbelievable,” he murmurs with his warmth surrounding me. “I told you—I’ll give you everything you want.”
I lean back into his embrace, the solid weight of him grounding me. His words make my heart beat faster, and my eyes sting with emotion.
“But this is… this is too much,” I say weakly, gesturing around the room. “I don’t deserve all this…”
His arms tighten around me, firm and steady. “You deserve the world, darling,” he says, voice low and certain. “And I’ll give it all to you.”
“Thank you,” I whisper as I turn around and rise on my toes, pressing my lips to his. Rudra responds instantly, his arms sliding around my waist, pulling me in. His mouth parts against mine, his tongue finding its way in with a hunger that makes my knees weak.
I wind my arms around his neck, drawing him even closer as the kiss deepens. His hands roam my back, igniting sparks that ripple through me.
When we finally break apart, we’re both breathless. He rests his forehead against mine.
“And you say you’re clingy,” he says with a breathless laugh. “I made this place just so I can have you close to me.”
I laugh with him, my heart full. I went from dreaming to living it—all in a matter of months.
“See? You’re getting a good view too—the city skyline… and me, obviously.” He grins, smug as ever and proud, too.
“How modest of you, Mr. Malhotra,” I say, amused at his antics, swatting his arm, and we both burst into laughter again.