21. Noah
NOAH
I ’d never been this nervous, not since the first time I shifted in front of the pack. It was a rite of passage for every shifter to show off their wolf to the pack, but now... now it felt like a confession, revealing a part of myself that could change everything between us.
“Zoey...” I tried to explain, but the words got stuck, fear lodging in my throat. What if she saw me as a beast that was too large, too dangerous?
I strained to read her expression, searching for some hint of understanding, some glimmer of trust. But she kept it carefully shuttered. I needed her to see beyond the size, beyond the strength, to the man who would lay down his life to protect hers.
If she couldn’t, if she recoiled from me...
No, I wouldn’t let my mind travel that path. I only prayed that when I revealed my wolf, she’d remember who I was at my core.
Easy, I murmured to the restless wolf, feeling him churning beneath my skin, eager for release. He paced, a caged presence in my mind that strained against the confines of my human form. I sensed his frustration, his need to be seen, but I cautioned him with a mental nudge.
No sudden moves. She’s important.
The wolf huffed in resigned acceptance as I exhaled slowly, steeling myself for what came next.
I faced Zoey and Roland, who waited expectantly on the porch, silhouettes framed by the fading light.
Her posture was rigid, her head tilted in anticipation and a hint of fear.
Ro, a shifter child, seemed excited to see me shift, though I could tell he was trying to hold it together for his mother.
“Remember what I told you,” I said as my heart thundered in my ears. “You’re safe with me. Always.” I held her gaze, willing her to see the sincerity in mine, to understand the depth behind my words.
I surrendered to the shift. Skin rippled, bones contorted, muscles swelled, my body capitulating to its true nature under the silvered cloak of twilight. And just like that, I was no longer standing before them as Noah the human, but as Noah the wolf.
The world sharpened, details etching themselves into my consciousness with a clarity that was near painful. Colors weren’t as vibrant, yet somehow they were more meaningful, holding a depth and texture I couldn’t appreciate in human form.
Zoey stood before me, her beauty amplified through this new lens, leaving me momentarily breathless.
I inhaled deeply, drawing in the scents around me—the earthiness of the soil, the lingering warmth of the day, and beneath it all, the unmistakable tang of fear.
It emanated from both of them. Roland’s fear dissipated quickly, replaced with curiosity and excitement.
Zoey’s, however, remained, and I regretted being the one who caused it.
“Whoa, how fast can you run? Can you jump over the fence?” Roland’s questions were as rapid as machine-gun fire.
I couldn’t reply, my human voice replaced with growls and huffs. But he didn’t seem to notice. Or, perhaps in his excitement, he didn’t care.
“Do you eat, like, a whole deer? How do you fight? Show me your teeth!”
I could only sit there, tongue lolling out slightly, as his enthusiasm washed over me. It was endearing, and under different circumstances, I might have laughed. But my gaze wasn’t on Roland. It was locked on Zoey.
She was motionless, save for the subtle rise and fall of her chest. Her warm, polished-amber eyes had turned dull.
Murky fear filled them as she watched me, the scent of it clinging to her like morning dew on grass.
She was struggling to find the man she knew in the beast in front of her, and I was afraid she wouldn’t be able to.
A divide appeared between us, like a widening chasm, and it was impossible for me to cross it in my current state. I wanted to say her name, ease her fears, let her know it was still me, but all that emerged was a low whine.
Zoey’s hesitation wasn’t just causing me pain; it was affecting my wolf as well. With a low whimper, I let my massive body sink to the ground, muscles giving way beneath the thick coat of sandy fur. My head lowered, ears pinned back, and I cast the most pitiful gaze I could muster at her.
Really? I thought, exasperated with myself for resorting to such tactics.
But it worked. Zoey stepped cautiously towards me, drawn by the silent plea in my wolf’s eyes.
“Okay, that’s... not what I was expecting.” Her voice quivered just a touch, but like her son,there was wonder there, too. “I mean, you said you were a big wolf, but you’re huge . You’re more like a bear.”
I could only nod slightly in this form. While most wolves reached a maximum height of four feet, I stood at a healthy six feet with a hefty build, about the same height as my human form. I was accustomed to my appearance, but I couldn’t fathom how I must look from her perspective. A monster?
A slayer of monsters, I hoped.
“Can I ride you?” Ro asked, piercing the tension with his childish wonder.
I huffed out a breath that ruffled his black hair, sending him into a cascade of giggles. The corners of my mouth twitched upwards in what I imagined was the closest thing to a smile my wolf could manage.
As Roland clambered onto my back, Zoey’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”
But her apology was unnecessary. Whether it was the protective instincts running through my veins or the simple joy reflected in Ro’s giggle, neither part of me—the man nor the wolf—minded Roland’s boldness.
Zoey’s fingers hesitated in the air before finally making contact with my fur. The initial tremors in her touch vanished as she stroked my side. “With your size, I have no doubt you could protect us,” she said, steadier now.
My wolf puffed his chest out with pride.
Inside, I chuckled at his reaction—typical alpha behavior—but I didn’t let it show.
Instead, I stood up, shaking my head from side to side.
With Roland perched on my back, his hands fisted tightly in my ruff, I sprinted around the yard, his laughter fueling my every stride.
When I circled back, I nudged against Zoey, deliberately marking her with my scent. On the outside, it was playful, but for shifters, it was a more intimate gesture. One that spoke of protection and possession.
Moments later, I shifted back into my human form, muscles and bones rearranging with a familiarity that came from years of doing it. Standing before Zoey, bare and exposed, I waited for her approach.
“Wow, that was so cool!” Ro exclaimed, bouncing with a contagious energy.
Zoey moved toward me, her gaze locked onto mine. She reached out, much like she had when I was a wolf. But this time, it was my skin that jolted with the electric sensation of her touch.
“How strong are you?” she asked, the question carrying more than the words alone suggested.
I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against me. “Strength isn’t just about physical power. It’s about what you choose to do with it. A man uses his strength to protect his family, to shield those he loves from harm, not to cause it.”
Her breath hitched, and I could see the whirlwind of emotions playing across her beautiful face. Unspoken words hung between us, yet they were as clear as if spoken aloud. I was completely gone over her, and I hoped with every fiber of my being that she felt even a fraction of what I did.
“Zoey.” The oath I was about to make was not something I took lightly. “I promise to always protect you and Ro, even if it costs me my life.”
Her eyes welled with tears, and she nodded almost imperceptibly.
We sat outside a while longer, enjoying the last of the evening sun and each other’s company. Ro zoomed around the garden, replaying his ride on my wolf, and made me promise we’d do it again.
George’s call had ruined our plans for dinner, so I ordered pizza.
Even cheesy, yeasty goodness couldn’t keep Ro awake—he fell asleep on the living room floor.
I picked him up, cradling him in my arms as I carried him upstairs to my guest room, leaving Zoey to help him change into his pajamas. I went to my room to get ready for bed.
I would have been happy with the sofa, but Zoey insisted I sleep with her. Who was I to argue?
The next morning started with a text message summoning me to the alpha house, and I left immediately.
I knocked on the heavy oak door of my father’s office.
Our relationship had improved a lot over the last few weeks.
But since he’d given me time to be with Zoey, knowing the fated-mate bond was important, I knew there was only one thing he’d want to discuss with me. A foreboding settled in my stomach.
“Sit down,” Dad said as soon as I walked through the door. His office smelled like coffee and old books, familiar and a bit comforting.
I took a seat across from him, resting my hands on my knees. “You wanted to talk about Zoey?” I guessed.
He nodded, his eyes fixed on me with that calculating look he’d perfected over years of leading the pack. “When are you going to tell her she’s your fated mate?” Dad asked, cutting right to the heart of the matter.
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. “Dad, it’s not that simple.”
“Your mother knew within weeks,” he countered with a shrug, as if that settled matters.
I leaned forward, frustration flaring. “Zoey isn’t Mom. And this situation... it’s different. She’s dealing with a lot.”
“The faster you claim her, the better, Noah. We need to put this foul business with George behind us and move forward.”
I stood and paced the room. “I haven’t forgotten my responsibilities, okay? I’ve been working behind the scenes. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.”
“Look at you, all doom and gloom when it comes to pack business,” Dad scoffed. “What’s so terrible about being the alpha?”
“Being alpha is like having chains on your feet, tethering you to one spot forever.” I couldn’t keep the bitterness from seeping into my voice. “After Nate... after he died, you had already decided my life for me. You wanted me to live in his shadow.”
“Your duty?—”
“Was never mine!” I snapped. “I was out there. I was boxing, traveling, seeing things Nate and the rest of the pack would never see. I had a taste of something different. Something that wasn’t preordained by family legacy.”
“Everything we did was for the strength of the pack.”
“Did you ever ask what I wanted? Even once?” I glared at him across the old wooden desk. The fragile peace that had built between us over the last few weeks was on the brink of shattering.
“Your wants were always secondary to our needs.”
“Exactly, Father. And nothing’s changed.” My hands clenched involuntarily. “Here I am, stepping up because it’s expected. Because it’s what you want from me, not because it’s my calling. And it’s still not enough for you.”
He bristled at my tone but didn’t respond. After a moment, I pressed on, softer now but no less intense. “Have you ever left Boldercrest? Seen anything beyond these borders? Had dreams that didn’t involve leading the pack?”
His gaze shifted, a flicker of something unreadable crossing his features.
“There’s more to life than power and obligation. Didn’t you ever want anything else?”
His jaw clenched, and he spoke through gritted teeth. “Being alpha was always my path.”
“Maybe,” I conceded. “But I can’t help wondering if you’ve missed out on living because of it.”
He leaned back in his chair, the old leather creaking under his weight. “That’s what retirement is for,” he said, folding his hands over his belly as if the matter was settled.
“Retirement?” I threw my hands up. “You think living starts when you’re too old to enjoy it? That’s your answer?”
“Living isn’t just about gallivanting around the globe, Noah.” His voice was steady, a counter to my rising frustration. “There are responsibilities that anchor you—important ones.”
“Like being chained to a patch of dirt?” I paced the room, the need to move, to be free, thrumming through me.
“Anchors can give you purpose, son. What happens when you are mated, when you become a father? You can’t just pick up and leave on a whim.
Roland needs stability. And Zoey...” He trailed off, glancing towards the window as if picturing her there.
“She’ll want to build something for herself, considering what she’s been through. ”
“Of course, I—” I stopped mid-sentence, my protest dying in my throat. I wanted to be part of Zoey and Roland’s lives, but was I ready to be a parent? For school plays and parent-teacher conferences?
“Are you willing to be there for them, through all of that?” His eyes locked onto mine, and I knew he wasn’t just challenging me; he was genuinely asking.
“Being tied down to family, to the pack, it will ground you in ways you never imagined,” he continued. “It’s not so different from taking on the mantle of alpha. It’s a heavy load, but it comes with rewards that solo travels can’t match.”
I stood still, his words hitting home. If I saw it all as chains, maybe I wasn’t cut out for any of it. Maybe I wasn’t the man Zoey needed after all.
My father watched me, waiting for an argument, a rebuttal, anything.
But I had none to give.