22. Zoey #2
He pulled his hand away. “Trust isn’t the same as understanding,” he said, almost to himself. “Why can’t he find someone who wants the fucking title?”
“Because…” I hesitated, unsure how to articulate the swirl of thoughts. “You’re their best chance at a good leader.”
“Maybe.” Noah stared past me, as if he could see into the future he didn’t want. “But what about what I want? The gym, the fighters I could train... my dreams don’t align with this path.”
“Can’t you do both?” I asked.
He shook his head slowly. “An alpha doesn’t have that luxury.”
“Your father trusts you. He wouldn’t put this on you if he didn’t believe in you.”
Noah straightened up, his gaze avoiding mine.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
I’m here, aren’t I? I’m going to do my duty as alpha.
” He ran a hand through his sandy blond hair, the scar on his brow pulling tight with the motion.
“It’s just... funny. No one’s asked how I’m dealing with all of this pressure. ”
“Hey,” I said softly, reaching out to touch his arm.
He turned, offering a hint of a smile. It wasn’t back to normal, but there was warmth there. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to mine, a brief kiss that spoke of promises and unspoken burdens. “I’m gonna go for a run. Clear my head.”
“Okay,” I said as he pulled away.
Before I could say another word, Ro burst into the room, his youthful energy shifting the atmosphere instantly. “Can I come, too?”
Noah’s demeanor lightened some more as he looked down at Ro. “You just want to ride on my back again, don’t you?” he teased, ruffling his hair.
Ro’s laughter filled the room, a total contradiction to the tension that had settled between us moments before.
With a grin and a flicker of something like relief, Noah nodded. “All right, let’s go, then.”
As the door closed behind them, the silence enveloped me. The excitement of my own news faded to a dull ache, overshadowed by the weight of Noah’s reluctant acceptance of his fate. Alone in the kitchen, I felt hollow.
I sat for a while, thinking about the course and my plans for the future.
I read the email carefully to make sure I had all the required documents and resources for the course.
With a shaky breath, I responded to the email, confirming my acceptance of the offered place.
When I checked the time, I realized Heather would be home from work, so I called her.
“Oh my God, Zoey, that’s great! Well done,” Heather gushed. “And you can do it all remotely? So you won’t have to travel for classes?”
I heard the front door opening, followed by Noah and Ro’s excited chatter as they came in from their run.
“Yeah, it’s all online. It feels strange thinking about it now. Ro and I will be doing our homework together.” I laughed at the thought of the two of us sitting side by side at the kitchen table, poring over textbooks.
“We should go out and celebrate,” Heather said.
“Do you think Sam can watch Ro?” I asked.
“Absolutely,” Heather said. “He told me this morning that the part they’ve been waiting on for the remote-control car was delivered yesterday.”
“I’m happy to watch him,” Noah said as he entered the kitchen.
Damn shifter hearing.
I hesitated for a moment, my gaze flitting between Ro and Noah.Noah, steady and reassuring. Ro, excitable, dancing on the balls of his feet, his hands pressed together out in front of him, dramatically pleading.
“Please, Mom, pretty please!”
“If you’re sure...” I said.
“Go have fun,” Noah said with a smile.
Ro let out a triumphant cheer and high-fived Noah.
Well, as Sam was fond of saying, “Argue once out of courtesy, twice out of stupidity.”
“Okay,” I said, finally letting go of the worry knotting in my gut. “Thank you.”
After I got ready at Heather’s, we sat in her living room, catching up over a bottle of wine before we went out. I did my best to ignore the fact that I had a couple of guards outside. I was grateful, of course, but it felt so weird.
“Noah should have let Dad babysit so he could celebrate with us,” Heather said.
I twirled the glass, watching the ruby liquid swirl.
“I don’t think he’d have come out, anyway.
He’s a bit out of sorts today. His dad asked him to come in to talk today—something to do with Noah taking over as alpha.
When I finally got him to open up, he told me about his brother.
It’s so sad. I’m not sure Noah wants to be alpha, but when I tried to talk to him more about it, he insisted it would be fine. ”
Heather sighed. “I was afraid this would happen.”
“What do you mean? Afraid of what?” I asked.
“Nate was obsessed with becoming alpha. Noah and Nate were both schooled on pack law together, but Noah never wanted the title. He was more into sports. Things outside the pack.”
“Really?” My surprise was genuine. Noah hadn’t mentioned any of this before.
“I’d heard Dad talking about it with some of his friends.
Alpha Christian barely noticed anything Noah did unless it was pack business.
When he started boxing, the alpha didn’t show up to a single match.
Even after Noah made a name for himself, Alpha Christian was never interested, not even when the match was close to town.
Thankfully, his mother and brother went to support him. ”
I frowned. “That’s terrible.”
“Tell me about it. Dad and his cronies felt bad for him, so a bunch of them would get together and go support him.”
We sat in silence for a few moments until Heather added, “Noah always wanted more than Boldercrest. The town was too small for him. Honestly? I didn’t think he’d ever come back after he left, or stay if he did.”
“But he’s staying because of what happened to Nate?”
“Partly. The pack needs an alpha, but no one’s blind, Zoey. This life, being alpha, wasn’t what Noah dreamed of. Yet here he is, for all of us.” She glanced at me. “It says a lot that he came back after... well, you know.”
A knot tightened in my stomach as I turned to Heather. “Do you think Noah feels trapped here? Like there’s no way out for him?”
Heather looked at me, her gaze holding a depth of knowledge of pack rules that I didn’t understand. “There is one way out,” she said slowly, “but it’s not a path I see Noah taking. Not now. Not with you in his life.”
“Because of me?” I asked, confused.
She nodded. “If he turned down the role of alpha, it would mean abandoning the pack. He’d have to leave Boldercrest behind, for good.” Her voice was even, but her face betrayed the gravity of what she described.
“Abandoning the pack...” The words echoed hollowly in my ears. “And that means cutting ties with everyone? His gym? Ky?”
“Everyone,” Heather confirmed. “If Noah refused the role, his father would have to free him from it. It would essentially be a banishment. But Noah’s not one to run from responsibility.”
I swallowed hard, feeling the gravity of her words settle on my shoulders. “But I’m not pack,” I said, the logical part of my brain clinging to the distinction.
“True, but you’re under pack protection. If Noah declined his role, then by pack law, he’d also have to leave you… unless you were willing to go with him without any protection from the pack.”
The implication of her words was a tangible thing that pressed against my chest. Noah would have to choose between his birthright and his freedom—his pack and, potentially, me. It seemed an impossible yet inevitable choice.
I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, my gaze dropping to my empty glass clasped tightly in my hands. Heather’s words replayed over and over in my head, each iteration weighing more than the last.
“Heather,” I murmured, not sure I wanted the answer to what I was about to ask. “Do you think if I wasn’t here, he’d stay? Surely Ky would go with him if he left? Is he only staying because of me?”
She didn’t answer immediately, and that pause had guilt clawing its way up from the pit of my stomach, coiling around my heart like a constrictor.
Images of Noah’s furrowed brow and the subtle downturn of his mouth flashed in my mind.
It was a mirror of the misery I’d felt with George. Trapped. Powerless.
“Zoey, it’s not like that.” Her assurance sounded hollow, though.
“Isn’t it?” Tears stung my eyes. “He was so miserable today, Heather. And now, knowing he might feel as trapped here as I was with George, how can I live with myself if I’m the one holding him back?”
She squeezed my hand, but it did little to ease the growing knot of dread. If Noah felt caged, tethered to a life he never wanted because of me, then what kind of future could we possibly have?