26. Zoey
ZOEY
I swallowed hard as the tremors slowly faded from my limbs. Pushing to my feet, I met Noah’s searching gaze. His eyes held a silent plea for some kind of understanding I wasn’t sure I possessed. I’d never felt anything like that in my life. Noah’s power was so raw. So terrifying.
“What are you?” I asked.
Noah averted his gaze, the muscle in his jaw working as if he were grinding down words too heavy to let out. “I’m just Noah,” he said finally. “I know I scared you, and I’m sorry for that.”
I watched the struggle play out across his features. He’d told me about his strength, sure. But witnessing it was something else entirely. In my mind’s eye, I could see him towering over George, reducing the man who had haunted my nightmares to nothing.
I wanted to find that comforting, but I couldn’t.
“Strong doesn’t begin to cover it,” I said. The image in my mind shifted—Noah’s hands not on George, but around me, holding me. It wasn’t fear that prickled at my skin. Noah wouldn’t hurt me; I knew that. It was awe at the sheer magnitude of power he possessed.
A knot formed in my throat as guilt began its familiar assault. Noah’s life—his calm, steady life—had been uprooted the moment I stumbled into it. His kindness had never wavered, even when everything about me pointed to trouble.
Was it me? Did I draw out anger in men? This violence?
“Ever since I came around, you’ve...” I trailed off, unable to finish the thought. It was a clamp compressing my chest, leaving me struggling for breath.
“Zoey, this isn’t on you.” Noah’s blue eyes held a storm of emotions, but none directed at me. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Didn’t I?” I said, taking another step back.
The image of Noah’s clenched fists flashed in my mind again, not raised in defense against some external threat but balled in frustration, possibly regret.
And it shattered me to think that I might be the cause of that regret.
“I can’t stand the thought of being responsible for bringing this darkness into your life. ”
“Hey,” he said sharply, reaching out as if to bridge the space between us with his touch. “We’re dealing with this together.”
Moving away from him was hard. All I wanted to do was lean into the safety of his arms, but I knew what I had to do.
I’d heard the threat in George’s voice, and I was all too familiar with it.
He meant business. He’d already sent men to kill him.
Noah’s power might be incredible, but up against speedy bullets? I had to keep Noah safe.
“Listen…” Despite the tremors I felt inside, I sounded steady. “This... what we have, it’s too much, too soon. I should’ve sorted out my mess before dragging you into it.”
He blinked in confusion. “What are you saying?”
“It’s not fair to you, Noah. I jumped from one disaster straight into your life without taking a breath. That’s on me.”
“Zoey, stop.” There was an edge to his voice, a hint of anger creeping back. Not the same raw power from before, but it was there. “You’re not responsible for any of what happened.”
“I know,” I countered quickly, my heart racing. “But look at what’s happening. Look at yourself. You’re on edge, angry?—”
“Because of George, not you,” he interjected, his tone rising.
“Exactly!” I exclaimed, frustration fueling my words. “Since I came into your life, the control you’ve had over yourself is slipping. Can’t you see that? This stress, it’s because of me.”
Noah’s face hardened, his jaw setting in a line that told me he was holding back a torrent of emotion. “That’s ridiculous, Zoey. I’m here because I want to be. Because I?—”
“Because you feel obligated?” That idea sliced me in half. “Because you’re a good guy who thinks this is the right way to protect me?”
“For God’s sake, no!” He was shouting now, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I chose this. I chose you.”
“Even if that means you’re starting to regret it?
If you’re not regretting it now, what about a week from now?
A month from now? You’ll end up resenting me, because you chose me over your own freedom.
”I choked back a sob. “I can’t stand this, Noah.
You shouldn’t have to take all this on. You just lost control because of the stress.
I can’t watch you become something you’re not because of me. ”
We stood there, both of us breathing heavily, struggling to find the right words.
“Look at me,” I pleaded, fighting the lump in my throat. “This isn’t your battle to fight.”
His blue eyes, normally like calm seas, now reminded me of storms brewing on the horizon. “You think I’m just going to step back and let you face him alone?”
“Yes—because it’s what I need you to do.” My hands trembled, and I clasped them together. “I need to end things with George on my own. Legally.”
“And what about us?” The strain in his voice was almost too much to bear.
“Us...” I trailed off, swallowing hard against the emotion. “Right now, there is no us. Not until I’m free from him.”
“Zoey, you can’t…” I could hear the plea, but before he went any further, I raised my hand to stop him.
“I’m sorry, Noah, I’ve made up my mind. This is how it has to be.”
I could see the struggle in his face, the instinct to fight for what he wanted clashing with his respect for my choice. But deep down, we both knew that this was the only way.
With that, I turned away from him, from the possibility of what could have been, and braced myself for the battle ahead.
“Zoey.”
My name escaped his lips like a whip in the silence, and I stopped in my tracks. I couldn’t bring myself to turn around. I knew that if I saw his face, my resolve would shatter.
“I won’t let you or Roland down. I’ll be here when you’re ready.
And my promise to you, to be there for Roland’s first shift.
.. it stands. Regardless of what happens with us.
Don’t let my lack of control get in the way of what he needs.
If you’d prefer, I’ll have Ky take over his training.
But he needs it. I wasn’t lying about that. ”
I caught the faint sound of his feet shuffling, a quiet hint that he wanted to close the distance between us.
A part of me screamed at him to do just that, to wrap me in those arms that promised safety.
To never let me go. But I had to ignore that desperate yearning. I had to ignore it for Noah’s safety.
“Thank you for looking out for us,” I said. The words fell flat, a feeble attempt to express gratitude, an inadequate offering for all he’d done.
There was a tension-filled pause, and I could sense the internal battle, the struggle not to follow his protective instincts. I took a deep breath, steeling myself against the waves of doubt crashing over me.
“Goodbye,” I whispered.
Without looking back, I ventured out into the cool night, leaving behind the man who could be both my salvation and my undoing. My heart pounded in my chest, its painful rhythm serving as a constant, haunting reminder of the mistake I feared I had committed.
I walked home. The alpha house was only a few blocks from Heather’s, and I’d needed the time to gather my thoughts on the way here.
Driving would have made the trip so much shorter, and I knew I had men shadowing me.
The streetlights tossed long shadows on the pavement.
I kept my head down, my jaw clenched so tight, I thought my teeth might crack.
No tears spilled over, but it felt like I was trying to swallow a boulder.
It hurt. God, it hurt leaving Noah behind with nothing more than a whispered goodbye.
“Zoey, you okay?” someone called out as I passed by.
“Yeah,” I muttered without looking up and quickened my pace.
My hands were shaking by the time I reached Heather’s front door.
I fumbled with the keys before I managed to get inside.
The silence of the house wrapped around me, suffocating and heavy.
Noah deserved a partner who was whole, not someone still picking up the shattered pieces of herself.
He didn’t need my baggage, my fears, and my past clawing at his life.
I’d done the right thing. I had to believe that.
I leaned against the kitchen counter, my fingers tracing the cold marble as I thought about Ro.
He was so excited about his first shift, and I didn’t want my mess to ruin that for him.
Noah had promised to be there for him, to guide him through it, and even to keep training him at the gym.
It was a relief, a small mercy amid the turmoil of our parting.
Noah saw something in Ro, something worth nurturing, and he wouldn’t let our failed relationship interfere with that.
I thought of how Noah’s voice had cracked when we said goodbye. His pain had been audible, raw, and unexpected. I’d never meant to hurt him, but the sound of his distress echoed in my thoughts, a haunting reminder of what I’d done. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I’d shattered his heart.
The realization that I might have caused him such pain without fully explaining why made my own chest tighten. He hadn’t fought me, hadn’t pressed for answers or begged me to stay. Instead, he’d accepted my decision with a grace that now seemed laced with hidden agony.
I picked up a cloth and began wiping the counters.
The familiar scent of the cleaner did nothing to ease the ache.
The sense of loss was too fresh, too profound.
Noah and I were unfinished, a story with its last chapters ripped away, leaving only questions and the ghostly remnants of what could have been.
Heather found me there, scanning my face as I scrubbed the counters vigorously. The weight of the day felt like a leaden cloak draped over my shoulders, and when I saw her, the tears spilled out.