Chapter Ten #2
“Of course. This is the part where you tell me what he wants now. And by the way, it wasn’t necessary to get my son involved.”
“He isn’t, and we didn’t. You’re the one who placed listening devices around his home, hoping to catch anything you can use against Beau. That’s a deadly game. You’ve never seen my face for a reason. I’m who they send when you fuck up.”
Leary took a step back. What was happening? He retraced his steps and moved through every room they had been in. Leary checked the sideboard first. Yep, another bug. He dipped beneath the dining room table. Sure enough, listening device right there.
“Why are you under the table?”
Leary hit his head at his mom’s question as he stumbled out from beneath the table. “Oh.” He released a nervous chuckle. “I knocked a fork beneath it earlier.”
“Oh.” She reclaimed her seat. “We may as well have some more wine while we wait for the guys.”
Leary sat. He hadn’t sat alone and drunk wine with his mom in years. She had always been too concerned with his waistline.
He watched her fill both their glasses nearly to the brim. Leary took a breath and a chance. “It’s been a long time since it was just us and wine.”
Layla nodded as she swallowed a huge mouthful of her drink. “I believe the last was when we were decorating your house.”
Leary smiled. “That was a good night. I miss doing things like that with you.”
Layla looked at him as if she hadn’t seen him in years. Her gaze moved over his face. “Me too. We should have wine nights more often.”
Leary nodded. “We definitely should.” He would need all the alcohol after JJ admitted he was only with Leary to get to his dad. Leary should have seen that one coming, honestly. He had known JJ was too good to be true. His wine disappeared almost instantly. He had never felt more broken.
The ride home was oddly quiet. JJ tried to engage Leary a few times, but Leary immediately fell silent again after answering each question.
He finally gave up. To be real, if JJ had to deal with people like Leary’s parents on the regular, he would need some peace too.
Each time he thought about the way they had treated Leary, his stomach churned with rage.
He supposed he knew now why Leary was unbothered by being called Bean.
Leary heard worse at home. JJ hadn’t behaved anywhere near as badly as he wanted.
They made it home and walked through the door.
The uneasiness grew inside JJ. Leary headed straight for their bedroom and into the bathroom, closing the door with a snap behind him.
Had he upset Leary by standing up for him?
Maybe he had gone too far. JJ wasn’t good at being subtle.
He would have tried for Leary, though. It was possible JJ should have consulted Leary first. If he looked too closely at things, JJ had run a little roughshod over Leary today.
The way he handled stress was to take control. Now he saw how that might upset Leary.
JJ stripped and pulled on his pajama pants.
He left the light on and spread Leary’s art supplies out on the bed.
Then he rushed to the kitchen to fix Leary some hot chocolate.
When he returned, he found Leary sitting in the center of the bed, wearing his bear pajamas and coloring.
It seemed he had upset Leary enough to push him into needing to self-soothe.
Shit. All he wanted was to make Leary happy.
JJ set Leary’s hot chocolate on the nightstand. “I made you some hot chocolate.”
Leary didn’t look up from coloring. “Thanks.”
JJ settled on his back and rubbed Leary’s knee. “Do you want to talk about it? Even if you’re upset with me, I want you to tell me so I can fix it. I love you. It’s my job to try to make things better.”
“Do you love me?”
JJ hadn’t expected that one. “Of course.”
“Do you love me or are you here to get to my dad?” Leary lifted his head as the final words left his lips. His eyes were red-rimmed.
Fury slammed into JJ. “Don’t ever say that to me again. You’re the only person I love. You’re my everything.”
Leary’s sad expression didn’t budge. “I saw what you did. I saw—”
JJ slashed his hand across his throat, warning Leary to stop.
Leary obviously saw the panic in his eyes because he fell silent.
JJ picked up a sketchbook and a marker. “Baby, I love you so much. Please don’t question that again. You’re ripping out my heart right now. Go back to coloring.”
Leary took the hint and started coloring again.
JJ wrote him a note. I’m 99.9% sure this room is clean since this security system is truly for my safety only.
Still, I won’t take chances with you. I love you too much.
You know how I told you I’d figure out a way to be here with you every night?
This was the terms. I had to give Beau a way to keep tabs on your dad and deliver him a message from Beau.
In no way is this about you and me. Everything about us is real.
I just didn’t know any other way to have this life with you. This was Beau’s price.
He passed the sketchbook to Leary. “Look what I drew for you.” JJ watched Leary’s gaze sweep across the page.
“Can I add to this, Daddy?”
JJ smiled. “I love when you call me that, baby. You can add whatever you want.” He handed Leary the marker.
Leary didn’t start writing right away. He held JJ’s stare, looking soft and hopeful. “Do you really mean that? I don’t want you to feel like you have to play with me. I didn’t go into this expecting you to be my daddy. Just being with you is enough for me.”
A sad smile pulled at JJ’s lips. He hated that Beau put him in this position.
“I honestly fucking love it, baby. You have no idea how much it hurts my heart that you’ve ever had a reason to doubt me.
All I want is to make your life perfect.
You’re my little ball of bear-y sunshine.
I love you. It’s killing me that you might not believe what I’m telling you.
” He hoped Leary understood he meant his note.
The sweet smile that touched Leary’s lips loosened the grip life had on his guts. Leary dropped his gaze and wrote in the notebook. After a minute, he handed it back to JJ.
“I added some pretty bows and stuff.”
JJ stared at the note Leary had added. I’ve always known my dad is bought and paid for.
That’s how I met Banks to even get a membership at The PlayPen.
Not that Dad knows about that part. I don’t care what’s going on between Beau and him.
I don’t want to know. However, I will say Dad hasn’t been here to bug the place since we’ve been dating.
I can’t remember the last time either of my parents were here.
When I’m not home, you are. You would’ve seen anyone who tried breaking in.
As for us, when you said you’d find a way to move here, I told you I didn’t care what it took.
I stand by that. You’re everything to me.
JJ fought back tears as he read. He sniffed, and Leary rubbed his leg.
The relief that poured through him spoke volumes about exactly how much fear and sadness he had been holding back at the idea of losing Leary.
He had outwardly stayed calm, just in case a single word of their conversation could be heard through their new security system. JJ wouldn’t risk Leary for anything.
He ripped the paper out of the book and sat up. “Let’s go look at this in the light. I bet it’s beautiful.”
Leary followed him into the bathroom.
JJ grabbed a lighter that sat next to the candles they lit when they took their bubble baths.
Without thinking, JJ flicked the lighter and set the corner of the note on fire.
It wasn’t until he watched the page burn in the sink and ran water over it that JJ realized what he had done. His gaze shot to Leary.
Leary had his hand over his mouth.
JJ couldn’t shake the shock. “Did you see me do that? I just did that, right?”