Chapter 2
After a morning helping out at the local community library in the Lower Leaping village hall, a twice-weekly stint for Tess, she returned home, where she’d been pottering about in the kitchen since, preparing an apricot and raspberry flan for supper.
She’d made herself a mug of tea, which she intended to drink in the garden, when she spotted an unfamiliar car pull onto the driveway.
A red, sleek, sporty number that she didn’t recognise as belonging to anyone she knew.
She went to peer closer out of the window and exhaled a weary sigh.
Of course, who else? Despite telling her ex, Charles repeatedly that Hollyhocks Cottage was no longer his home and that he should call to ask if he needed to pop around for whatever reason, he took absolutely no notice, and turned up exactly when he wanted to, as though he still lived there.
‘Charles,’ she said when she opened the front door, about to rebuke him. He held up his palms in a gesture of self-defence.
‘I know, I should have called first, but I was literally driving past the door, and honestly,’ he said, an apologetic smile spreading on his lips, ‘the new car is great, but it has a mind of its own. It was turning into the lane before I knew what was happening.’
Tess gave an indulgent shake of her head, holding the door open to let him in.
Enough time had passed since Charles had delivered the bombshell that he was leaving her that she no longer felt driven by a burning anger and a desire to inflict personal injury upon him.
Now she simply experienced an overwhelming wave of weariness and irritation in his presence.
‘Really, Charles? Are you sure you can afford that?’ she said, gesturing to the Porsche outside.
‘Oh, don’t be like that, darling. You know that our financial settlement will see you very comfortable.
You get to keep this beautiful home,’ he said, lifting his hands to the sky, his gaze travelling around the old oak beams of the country kitchen.
‘Do you remember we always used to call it our Forever Cottage?’
‘Well, that was a misnomer if ever there was one.’
‘Come on, let’s not bicker,’ he said, glancing at her mug.
‘Let’s have a coffee together. You know, it’s those little things I miss so much: having the chance to catch up over a cuppa.
There’s nothing wrong with it, is there?
Anyway, is Hannah not here?’ He pulled out a stool at the island and made himself comfortable.
Tess took a sip from her mug of tea before flicking the kettle on and making Charles a cup of instant coffee under duress. Only special guests warranted the freshly brewed coffee from the machine.
‘She’s at work. Gina is keeping her busy, which is probably a good thing.’
‘Doing what exactly?’
Tess was hugely grateful to one of her oldest friends, Gina Moore, who had stepped up and offered Hannah a job working for her fashion accessories business when it became clear that Hannah wouldn’t be taking up her place at university.
Working from Gina’s barn conversion at the other end of the village, Hannah had thrown herself into the role, enjoying being part of the small, thriving company, and taking on the job of establishing a social-media presence for the brand.
Gina had many ideas for expansion, intending to take her company from a one-man band, selling her imported Italian goods to independent shops and outlets, to setting up her own retail events through upmarket fairs and pop-up shops.
Hannah was providing the extra pair of hands Gina needed to forge ahead with her plans.
‘Well, that might be all well and good for a few days, but it’s not a long-term proposition, is it? I still can’t see why she couldn’t have picked up her teacher training course, as originally planned?’
‘Because she had already deferred it for a year,’ said Tess, exasperated, ‘when she decided to keep the baby.’ Both she and Hannah had kept Charles informed about her plans at every step along the way.
Why he was finding it so difficult to comprehend, she didn’t know, although she suspected he was being deliberately obtuse.
‘Besides, I’m not sure she’d be in the right headspace for uni now.
She’s been through a lot. A year’s break will be good for her. ’
‘For Christ’s sake, she’s only just come back from a jaunt across the other side of the world. How much time off does she need? She’s not a child any more.’
‘Exactly! Our daughter is an adult. Old enough to make her own decisions. We have to respect that.’
Charles shook his head, his lips puffing out indignantly.
‘Honestly, it’s a good job I never got to meet that so-called boyfriend of hers. What a waste of space he sounds. And I wouldn’t have had any problem in telling him so. Finding out she’s pregnant then doing a runner. Leaving Hannah in the lurch like that. It’s a despicable way to behave.’
‘I know, I agree, but it’s happened now.
I suspect Billy would have seen it as a holiday romance, something to last the length of the time they were travelling together, but Hannah fell head over heels in love.
It happens,’ she said pointedly, fixing him with a glare.
It wasn’t lost on Tess the hypocrisy of Charles’s outrage.
Hadn’t he been struck with a similar coup de foudre when he’d met and fallen in love with Melody?
‘Yes, but to think about bringing a baby into the world in those circumstances. It shows a complete lack of judgement and sense on both their parts, especially our daughter!’
‘They didn’t think about it, Charles. It wasn’t planned. It happened. Like these things have a habit of doing. Anyway, it’s not a problem any longer,’ Tess said with an edge of sadness to her voice. ‘Hannah is trying to put the whole episode behind her. We should do the same.’
Hannah’s backpacking adventure in Australia was intended as a well-deserved break after finishing her first degree and before starting her teacher training at Birmingham University, a chance to step outside her comfort zone, discover her independence and explore the world.
She had done exactly that, and her weekly WhatsApp calls to her mum, where, tanned and bright-eyed, she’d gleefully recount her latest exploits had gone some way to reassuring Tess that her daughter was safe and well.
When Hannah had met Billy, her happiness had been palpable from all those miles across the ocean, but sadly, it was only short-lived.
Unexpectedly, Hannah had fallen pregnant, Billy had made a hasty retreat and Hannah had returned home early, dejected, unhappy and wondering how she was going to face the future.
It had been a shock to everyone concerned, and Hannah had some deep soul-searching to do before she hastily rearranged her plans to take up her place on her teaching training course, deferring it for a year.
Shortly after making that decision, in the early hours of a Saturday morning, she woke with crampy pains and miscarried.
‘I wonder if it was my fault,’ she’d reflected with her mum afterwards, her eyes red with tears. ‘All those things I said about not wanting the pregnancy. It’s as though I put the thought out there in the universe and the universe listened to me. What’s that saying? Be careful what you wish for.’
‘You mustn’t think like that!’ Tess pulled Hannah towards her in a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around her daughter. ‘It’s nothing you’ve done or anything you’ve said. Unfortunately, it’s an all-too-common occurrence in early pregnancy. It happens to so many women. You mustn’t blame yourself.’
It had been a stressful time for Hannah and a sobering experience for them all, Tess, Charles, Hannah and her grandmother, Marjorie, eliciting a whole gamut of emotions: from the initial shock at discovering the news followed by acceptance and positivity at Hannah’s new reality, before those emotions were quickly deflated when the pregnancy came to an abrupt and sad end.
Charles, living away from the family home, had struggled to know how to reach Hannah, who had once been a daddy’s girl, but since her travels to Australia, and more pertinently, since her parents’ split, she had distanced herself from her father, blaming him for breaking up the family unit, their previous close bond now in tatters.
‘It just worries me that she’s throwing away everything that she’s worked so hard for,’ Charles said now. ‘You know that it’s been her dream since she was a little girl to become a teacher and just when she was on the cusp of making that a reality, it all falls to pieces around her.’
‘It’s a setback, but not the end of her dream. Hannah will pick up her course next year. And who knows what’s in store for her in the coming year?’
‘Exactly! That’s what I’m worried about. She’s easily led, that much has become apparent. And I’m not sure spending a year working for Gina is the best use of her time. Lord knows what fanciful ideas she’ll pick up there.’
Tess made no attempt to disguise the roll of her eyes. Charles had never been Gina’s biggest fan.
‘It’s good work experience for her. She’s gaining skills and earning money. And it’s just down the road. To me, it seems like the perfect way to spend her time.’
Charles shook his head, his jowls wobbling, and Tess had to suppress a smile.
For all the years they were happily married, she’d hardly noticed his mannerisms and foibles.
Now, she saw them all the time. Had she been so in love with her husband that she’d failed to see his faults or had they taken each other so much for granted that they’d completely lost sight of who the other person really was?
‘Does she realise that I am on her side? That I’m here for her? I miss her. She doesn’t want to talk to me these days. I’d like for her to come and spend some time with me and Melody, but she isn’t interested.’
‘She’s had a lot going on. She’s probably not in the right headspace to meet your new girlfriend right now.
’ Tess’s eyebrows lifted involuntarily. ‘You need to be patient with her. She’s stepping out into the world and perhaps she doesn’t need us in the same way as she might once have done.
That has to be a good thing, doesn’t it? ’
‘Not if it means I’m going to lose her. I feel as though she’s slipping away from me.
’ Tess could hear the anguish in his voice.
‘We used to be so close, but now there’s this big gap between us.
She resents me for leaving you, for leaving all this behind.
’ There was a note of wistfulness to his voice as his gaze travelled around the kitchen before he ran a hand through his greying locks.
He lifted his head to look at her. ‘You know, sometimes, I wonder if I didn’t make the biggest mistake of my life. ’
‘Well, it’s far too late to be having thoughts like that,’ she snapped, before giving a careless shrug. ‘I hate to say it,’ she said, quietly relishing the moment, ‘but you’ve made your bed; you now have to make it as comfortable as you possibly can.’
‘I’m trying to do that, but it isn’t easy. It feels like I’m losing you both, everything we had here.’
‘That’s generally what happens when you walk away from a marriage, Charles. You can’t really expect to have a foot in both camps. Can you?’
Although judging by his expression and some of his recent musings, Tess could believe that was exactly what he wanted.
‘I don’t know what I expected, but I’m not certain it was this.
’ He pressed on his lips, observing her thoughtfully.
‘Can I ask a favour of you? Can you talk to Hannah for me, please? Tell her how much I love her, how I’m always here for her.
That I would do anything to help her. I’ve told her myself, but I think if it came from you, she might actually take note. ’
Tess swallowed a sigh. Despite her earlier murderous intentions towards Charles, she had already spoken to Hannah about her dad, trying to remain dispassionate about the situation, urging her not to let her anger towards him spoil what had previously been a very special relationship.
The last thing Tess wanted was for Hannah and Charles to grow apart, for them to create a crack in their relationship that couldn’t be mended.
She lifted her gaze to look at him, feeling a pang of sadness that they found themselves in this situation.
They had been married for over thirty years.
It was only natural that she would have some residual feelings for him, but something she’d learned in recent months was that she couldn’t be held responsible for other people’s happiness.
For too many years, she’d taken it upon herself to do everything she could to make everyone else’s life easier, to take away their stress and to take on the burden of their emotions, often at the expense of her own needs and happiness.
She felt some empathy for Charles, but it wasn’t down to her to sort out his relationship issues with his daughter.
It was something he had to do for himself.
‘Look, Charles, you know what Hannah’s like.
Anything you have to say to her is much better coming from you.
Why don’t you suggest going out for dinner just the two of you?
Try and get your relationship back on track before introducing her to Melody.
I suspect Hannah needs some time. Treat her with kindness and patience, and I’m sure you’ll be able to work it out between you. ’
If they didn’t then that would be sad, but Tess could do no more. She’d been an emotional support to Charles for years. Now it was Melody’s turn to pick up that role.