Chapter 23
Despite knowing that what she was about to do was a stupid thing, Tess couldn’t stop herself.
Even at the age of fifty-five with a lifetime of sensible decisions behind her and the knowledge that nothing good could come of it, she couldn’t let it go.
She was probably about to open a can of worms that she might never be able to put the lid back on.
Rise above it.
Let it go.
Will it change anything?
Those and several other clichés, along with Rob’s sage advice, all counselled her to put the niggle to one side, but she didn’t want to have that same nagging thought in her head in three months’ or three years’ time.
Tess needed answers. Best to clear the air.
Honesty, as she’d come to appreciate recently, really was the best policy.
Leaving Barney at home, much to his disappointment, she took a determined walk down Vicarage Lane into the centre of the village, passing the old quaint stone cottages that were so familiar and always pleasing to the eye at any time of year.
It was a view that could and actually did adorn several postcards that were available to buy from the village shop.
Admittedly, most of those scenes were taken on beautiful, sunny days, showing off the village to its best, although there were others taken when the village was covered in a thick dusting of snow which looked equally picturesque.
Now, the air was cold and damp, the dark night of late October sending shivers down her body.
The festivities for Halloween at least offered some autumnal cheer by way of decorations in the cottage windows.
Carved pumpkins and friendly ghosts glowed as she went on her way, admiring the abundant wreaths hanging on the doors.
She pulled the collar up on her coat, dug her hands deeper in her pockets and strode on until she reached her destination.
Gina lived in a renovated barn conversion that was once an old farm building.
It was set within a small development of three similar properties and her house, The Dairy, had wonderful views over the local landscape.
Where Tess’s cottage was full of old country charm, Gina’s property was all modern lines and sleek fittings.
Tess walked over the gravel driveway and along the path that led to Gina’s place and knocked on the door. She saw the hallway light flicker on and the shadow of her approach in the hallway.
‘Hello! What are you doing here?’ Gina peered around Tess to see if she could see her car parked out the front.
‘Did you walk down here? You mad woman! Come on in out of the cold. This is a lovely surprise, but I’m afraid Hannah’s already left if you were hoping to see her.
Billy picked her up a little while ago.’
Tess knew. He was taking her for a meal in Bramlingham, followed by a trip to the cinema. Tess had planned it that way.
‘No, it’s you I’ve come to see.’
‘Ah, great.’ Tess could tell Gina was taken aback by the unexpected visit, but she was always going to welcome her friend with open arms, whatever time of day. She glanced at her watch. ‘I was almost finished with work anyway. Should we open a bottle of wine?’
‘Yes, that sounds great,’ said Tess, not feeling guilty in the slightest that she hadn’t brought one of her own. ‘I hope Hannah is getting on okay? She tells me she’s really enjoying working here.’
There was a large second bedroom that had open countryside views that Gina used as a dedicated office space.
‘Oh, she’s doing brilliantly. I can’t tell you the difference it’s made having her here.
She’s so vibrant and full of ideas, and that’s been great for me, to have someone as a sounding board.
She’s been such an asset on the social media side too, which is great because it was something I wasn’t interested in doing myself.
To be honest with you, she’s made herself pretty indispensable.
I’m not sure I ever want her to leave now. ’
‘That’s good to hear. I’ve noticed how much her confidence has grown since she’s been working for you.
It was just what she needed when she came back from Australia, although I’m not sure Charles would approve of her staying on with you any longer than absolutely necessary.
He wasn’t very happy, you know, when he found out she was working with you. ’
‘Now why doesn’t that surprise me?’ There was a roll of the eyes from Gina as she kicked off her slippers and tucked up her legs beneath her on the sofa. ‘Has he been bad-mouthing me again?’
‘Well, no more than usual, but I suppose his comment did get me thinking as to why you two have always been so spiky towards each other?’
Tess looked up from where she’d been contemplating the stem of her glass and fixed Gina with a questioning expression.
‘Oh, I don’t know.’ Gina shook her head and ran a hand distractedly through her hair. ‘I think Charles always saw me as a bad influence and I… well, you know that I always thought he was a bit pompous and up himself.’
When Tess didn’t say anything, Gina felt compelled to fill the silence.
‘I suppose it was just a clash of personalities.’
Tess nodded, but remained silent.
‘Tess…? Why are we even talking about this? Has something happened?’
‘I don’t know.’ Tess swallowed down a sigh. ‘I guess that’s what I wanted to ask you about.’
‘Sorry, Tess, it’s been a hectic day. My head’s full of orders and shipping consignments so I’m not really with it yet. I probably need another couple of these,’ she said, holding up her wine glass, ‘before I even begin to relax. What are you getting at exactly?’
It was best to come straight out with it, rather than going around the houses. A direct question warranted a direct answer.
‘You and Charles, have you ever had an affair?’
‘What?’ Gina leaned forward in her seat, her face crumpled in consternation. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Not exactly an immediate denial then, and Tess sensed a defensive edge in Gina’s response. ‘Has Charles said something?’
‘No, he hasn’t. He’s at home recuperating from pneumonia, but would he have something to say on the matter? If I were to ask him?’
‘No.’ She shook her head vehemently. ‘I just don’t know where this has come from. Talk to me, Tess. I really don’t understand.’
Tess took a deep breath. ‘Keith. At the pub. We were in there the other week and he made some throwaway comment about Charles, how I was better off without him because he had always been a ladies’ man.
And then the next time I was in, your name came into the conversation, in the same breath as Charles’s name.
Keith quickly tried to backtrack, but once it was out there…
well, it would certainly explain why you two had never got on together. ’
‘Tess, I promise you, we never had an affair.’ There was a heat slowly creeping up Gina’s neck and into her cheeks. She went across to sit next to Tess on the sofa and took her hands in hers.
‘But there was something, wasn’t there?’ Tess pressed on.
‘No! Well, not really, it was something of nothing, I promise you.’ Gina shook her head and put down her wine glass on the table, turning to Tess.
‘Look, it was stupid. It was just after Dave left me. You know the state I was in. I couldn’t stop crying and I was drinking far too much.
I was out of control. One day, we’d been down the tennis club together, a big group of us, and then we ended up in the pub.
I was smashed even before we arrived. There was a bit of banter flying about the place and we started playing a game of truth and dare which quickly got out of hand.
Someone dared me to kiss Charles, I don’t even know who, but everyone was cheering and goading me on, so I threw my arms around his neck and snogged him. ’
‘I see,’ said Tess noncommittally.
‘I don’t know what possessed me. It was a moment of madness on my part. We were in the snug bar, just us, the tennis club crowd, but of course, in the heat of that moment, as I was kissing Charles, a group of locals walked in and witnessed the whole thing.’
‘Wow!’ Tess shook her head slowly. ‘And you’re supposed to be my best friend. You don’t do that to someone you care about!’
‘I know, and I’ve felt guilty about it every day since.
If it had happened in the back of the bar, or outside, then we could have swept it under the carpet and pretended it had never happened, but because it was in front of everyone at the pub, it grew into this urban myth that he and I were having an affair.
I promise you, we never did.’ Gina shuddered as though the very idea made her feel ill. ‘I’m so sorry, Tess, I really am.’
Tess fell quiet contemplating her friend’s words, trying to work out how it made her feel, realising that she felt nothing but mild annoyance and a degree of amusement too, although she wasn’t going to let on to that to Gina.
She knew instinctively by the way Gina described the scene, the absolute mortification on her face, that she was telling the truth.
‘I bet Charles couldn’t believe his luck.’
‘No, he didn’t know what had hit him. He was hugely embarrassed. And very cross too. He did nothing to lead me on.’
‘And that’s the absolute truth?’
‘I promise you. On Adam’s life.’ Her grown-up son, who she didn’t see very much of these days as he was in the army, but who she loved and adored above everyone else. ‘If you were to ask Charles, he would tell you the same. I am so, so sorry, Tess. You have to believe me.’
‘You’re a bloody idiot!’
‘I know. Totally, but I was making some very bad decisions at the time. I’ve dreaded you finding out one day, but I never thought it would come out now, all these years later.’
‘I don’t know why you simply didn’t tell me back then?’
‘Because Charles asked me not to. And I honestly think it would have made matters worse. It doesn’t sound great in the telling, but it was inconsequential, I promise you.
’ She took hold of Tess’s hand and threaded her fingers through hers.
‘Please tell me it won’t affect our friendship in any way.
I couldn’t bear it, not over something so stupid. ’
Tess dropped Gina’s hand and diverted her gaze around the room, mulling over Gina’s explanation, the silence growing ever more intense between them. Gina tracked her every movement, anticipating her response.
‘Tess!?’ she cried when she could bear it no longer. She shook Tess’s arm, trying to get her attention, her relief evident when she saw a glimmer of forgiveness in Tess’s eyes.
‘Don’t be daft. It’s not going to change anything.
It all happened such a long time ago and much worse things have happened since.
To be honest, it sounds exactly like the idiotic sort of thing you might do and you’ve obviously been beating yourself up over it ever since.
You promise though that there’s nothing else you need to tell me? Because I will find out.’
‘Absolutely nothing else,’ she said, putting her hand to her chest.
‘And you promise never to keep secrets from me again?’
‘Pinkie promise,’ said Gina sincerely, offering up her little finger.
‘Fine,’ said Tess airily. ‘I suppose I might get round to forgiving you one day then.’
‘Oh, thank God, darling.’ Gina pressed a hand to her heart dramatically. ‘I’m so relived to get it off my chest after all these years and clear the air. You know I love you, don’t you? And all I can say is sorry again, and I’ll keep saying it for as long as you want me to.’
‘Please don’t. That would be really annoying. I’m just glad I’ve discovered the truth, even at this late stage.’
Gina exhaled a huge sigh of relief, picked up her wine glass and finished it off in one fell swoop.
‘You know, I still think Charles is a pompous arse, though.’
Tess burst out laughing. ‘You might have a point there, but then he still probably thinks you’re flaky and a bad influence, and do you know, he’s probably got a point there too.’