29. Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Trent
M y head is so fucking mixed up that I don’t know what I’m thinking or feeling. After vowing I’d never end up here again—obeying the speed limit, always getting a designated driver, ignoring Dan’s threats to my business—I still somehow ended up under suspicion.
My lawyer, Thomas Rodriguez, came as soon as I called. We’re in a separate room to meet before I get questioned, which I suspect means he thinks I actually could be mixed up in this. I’ve got nothing to hide.
“Alright,” Thomas says, consulting his notes. “The police traced a drug ring from Utica to Little Falls. The problem is that it appears to have started in Little Falls around the time you took over Mullen Mechanics. Or at least, that’s when the police have been able to trace it back to.”
“Nobody can be saying I’m part of this,” I say. “I didn’t do shit.”
“Dan has said he approached you, and you agreed to run some drugs.”
“What?” I practically yell the word. “That slimy motherfucker. That’s not true. It’s not true. They won’t be able to find one ounce of evidence to link us.”
But then I remember the break-in, how we all assumed it was Dan, but we never got a clear answer about who did it.
We cleaned up the shop after that, but what if Dan planted something.
That’d be just like him. Whoever had been in there had tried to break into my computer system, so they were clearly aiming to do more than steal a few tools.
“Are they arresting me?” I ask.
“You’re correct in that they don’t have any evidence, other than Dan’s comments, to link you two.” He takes a deep breath. “Yet. They have the warrant to search your shop, your computers, and your security system.”
“If they find anything,” I say, clenching and unclenching my hands under the table, “it was planted. I swear to you that I’ve got nothing to do with this.”
“When we go in there to speak to the police, check with me before you answer any question. Just a visual check-in is fine. They’re feeling you out, but they have no evidence. We don’t want to inadvertently give them something they feel the need to pursue.”
“Thomas, I’m clean.” A hint of frustration has crept into my voice.
“Trent, I told you this last time, my job is to defend you to the best of my ability, make sure the rule of law is followed.”
Unlike last time, that response is maddening. I just want him to know that I didn’t do it. Last time I did, and I was prepared to pay whatever price the law required. The injustice of it all just makes me want to fucking cry, but getting emotional isn’t going to get me out of here.
“Let’s get this over with,” I say, rising from my seat.
Together, we head into the police interrogation room, and I tell them everything I know.
When I pull into the driveway, Emily’s car is already there.
My heart thumps in my chest at what I know I have to do.
No part of me wants to go in there, but I can’t hide from her forever.
It’s bad enough that I drove around town for an hour, went to the lake and sat staring at the water for a while, too.
I wouldn’t be surprised to look down and find my boots made of concrete.
With a deep breath, I open the door into the kitchen. Emily turns from the sink, and relief is clearly written across her face. She closes the distance between us and envelopes me into a hug, clutching onto me like I’m a lifeline in a storm. But I’m no hero today.
I let my arms circle her loosely, but I don’t sink into her like I normally would. I’m not sinking into anything anymore. Surface level is so much safer for everyone.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Is Amir here?” That was the other thing weighing on my mind as I sat at the lake. If things got messy between me and Emily, I didn’t want him to see any of it. But he should be home by now. I left it too late. Somehow, I’m never quite making the right choices.
“He’s with Mia and Tyler.”
“I’m going to go stay with my mom,” I say, stepping past her. “I just came here to grab my stuff.”
“For tonight?”
“No,” I say, “I’m staying there until I’m allowed back in the shop, and then I’ll stay there until I can find someone to rent to me.”
“Trent.”
I close my eyes at the way she says my name because it sounds like heartbreak, and that’s not what either of us signed up for.
“I can’t stay here,” I say, but I don’t leave the kitchen to pack my things.
“I understand if you want some space tonight, and how pulling away might seem like the right choice. But none of what’s happened today was your fault.”
“You’re sure about that?” I ask. “You don’t wonder if maybe I did do it?”
“No,” she says. “Not for a second.”
“Probably half the town right now feels pretty damn good about how they resisted giving me a chance.”
“I don’t care how the rest of the town feels. I know the truth.”
I rub my face and brace myself to ask the question I’ve avoided these past few months. In the back of my mind, I knew if I asked and she gave me the answer I expected, I’d have to cut things off. And honestly, I just really wanted this chance with the shop, with her.
“Tell me,” I say, taking a deep breath. “Tell me you haven’t lost one client because of your association with me? Tell me that no one has said they won’t use your real estate company because of me.”
Emily stares at me and her jaw tightens, but she doesn’t admit what I’ve known subconsciously for months. There are people in this town who will never forgive me, and that makes Emily guilty by association.
“I’ll see myself out,” I say, moving toward the stairs to pack my stuff.
“Trent.” My name is more of a sob than a word, but I can’t turn around, can’t hold her, because I’ll only drag her down.
After I’ve finished shoving everything into my two suitcases, I stand staring at the two pieces Amir made me for Father’s Day, and my lungs feel tight, like I can’t quite breathe.
The life I could have had is just there—out of reach.
I slide open the nightstand drawer, and I put both pieces inside. I can’t bear to take them with me.
Downstairs, Emily is still in the kitchen, standing at the counter, and it’s pretty clear she’s been crying.
Anger and sadness keep hitting me in waves, and I don’t even know what to do with all these pent-up emotions.
“Go tonight,” Emily says, “but come back.”
“You know that’s not going to happen. I’m not having my choices, my past, reflect poorly on you. That’s not fair.”
“I’ll stand beside you. I know you didn’t do this. You went to jail for god’s sake. You paid for your mistake. Who cares about the people who can’t see that?”
“Both of our jobs are dependent on people wanting to trust us, work with us. I’m not tanking your business when I’m already doing that to my own.”
“People will come around.”
“How many times do they have to come around, Em? How many times do I have to win them over?”
Tears are trickling down her cheeks, and it’s making my heart feel like it’s going to leave my chest to comfort her because my feet won’t move.
“Back in October, I felt like a shell of a person,” she says, her voice cracking. “And I don’t feel that way anymore, and that’s because of you. So I don’t care what the rest of the town thinks. I don’t care. They could all hate you, and I would still love you.”
I close my eyes and rock back on my heels. The truth is, I’ve seen the change in her, and I wanted it to be because of me, because of us, but in this moment, I don’t want that at all. But I also can’t lie to her—won’t.
“I love you too,” I say. “So fucking much. And that’s why I can’t stay. What’s happening to my life, I won’t have it happen to yours too. I can’t. It’s so much worse that I’m dragging you down too.” Then I push out the door and carry my bags to the truck.
Emily is still standing at the back door, and I can see her crying. It takes every ounce of self-control, every ounce of certainty that I can’t allow her to be coated with the mud of these accusations, to put my car in reverse and leave this life behind.
My mom comes out of her two-story house when I pull in the driveway. When she tries to take one of the suitcases, I shoo her away. I’m barely holding my shit together.
Last time when this happened, I knew I’d fucked up, and while it was devastating, it didn’t feel like this. A punch to the gut so hard that I’m almost doubled over with it.
I’m innocent. Haven’t done a single shady thing since I got out of jail. But the fact is that I don’t know for sure they won’t find anything in the shop because I know what a snake Dan is.
In my old bedroom, I dump my stuff, and my mom has followed me and is hovering at the door when I really, really need to be alone.
“I’m fine, Mom,” I say, trying to keep my voice even.
“You’re not fine,” she says. “I wouldn’t be fine if I was you, either. And there’s no shame in admitting that, in admitting that this situation is awful.”
“I’m not involved in any of this,” I say.
“I know that,” she says. “I work there. You think I wouldn’t know?”
I don’t bring up the fact that I did a lot of shit right in front of her nose when I was a teenager, and she didn’t have a clue.
“You know,” my mom says, wagging a finger, “I do wonder about Judy, though.”
“Judy?” I rub my face, not following.
“She works part-time for you, but she’s always flashing money around, talking about expensive things she’s bought, trips she’s planning.
No second job that I know of.” She leans against the doorframe.
“And someone tipped Dan off in the first place that the shop had lost business when you took over.”
“Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to make that leap, Mom. A lot of people in this town don’t like me.”
“From my experience, most people actually do like you, Trent. People didn’t know if they could trust you because you fooled so many of us last time.”
It’s not lost on me that she includes herself in that statement. And my past is exactly what makes this situation hard. Proving myself innocent when people are already suspicious is like trying to walk up a vertical wall.
“How was Emily?” Her voice is gentle, and when I glance at her, she must see something in my face because she tugs me into a hug. “Oh, baby,” she says. “It’s okay to let people in.”
“My reputation impacts her,” I say, my voice thick. “And I already fucked up with Maggie all those years ago. I can’t let that happen to another Sullivan. I won’t let it happen to Emily.”
“Maggie was a kid, but Emily is an adult. I think it’s fair to let her decide what she can handle.”
I step away from her, and I shake my head. “I didn’t do anything bad, but if your instincts about Judy are right, that doesn’t mean I won’t get knocked down in the fallout. Desperate people do desperate things.”
From prior experience, I am well aware of what Dan is capable of, how he’ll do anything to keep himself afloat and sink everyone else to the bottom. I just have to hope like hell he hasn’t put weights on me that I never saw him attaching.