Chapter 10
Rita
“Can I ask you a question?” Stewart and I were walking through the mall looking for a gift for his mother.
“I guess.” I still wasn’t sure this was a good idea. Every few minutes I found myself looking around to check if anyone was staring in our direction. I felt like I was walking around with some sort of sign letting everyone know I was breaking the rules.
“Don’t take this the wrong way.” He started, and I instantly got worried.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just.” He stopped, ran his hand through his hair, and then started again. “I just don’t want to come off as some jealous asshole.” Now I was really confused.
“What are you talking about?”
“The guy at the hospital.” His lips thinned. “If he isn’t your husband, or your boyfriend, and you’re not sick. Then who is he?”
I smirked. “Men and women can’t be friends?” I joked.
“Sure, but I’d rather know that from the beginning so again I don’t come off like I’m all possessive or jealous.” He shrugged.
I kept walking. This wasn’t something that I liked talking about. I actually hated thinking about this time of my life, but if anyone would understand it would probably be Stewart.
“He’s a physical therapist.” I told him.
“Physical therapist?” He wrapped his arm around my waist. “Are you hurt?”
“Not anymore.”
“What happened?”
I shook my head. “Can we talk about this somewhere less public?” I looked around.
“Of course.” He squeezed my waist. “Okay, then can I ask you one other question?”
I let out a laugh and smiled. “Sure?”
“Would you consider maybe staying here overnight?” I stopped walking and stared at him.
“I don’t think we’re ready for that.”
“We don’t have to do anything.” He put both his hands up. “That isn’t why I suggested it.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure if I felt relieved or confused. I went back to walking.
He rushed up behind me and put his arm back around my waist. “I’m not saying that I don’t want you.” He clarified. “Believe me, I definitely want you. I just thought it would be nice to spend time together where you aren’t worried about someone seeing us together.”
“We might have to go to Mars for that.” I muttered.
“I know a few pilots.” He nuzzled his face into my neck, and I laughed.
“Stop that.”
“Nope.” He put both arms around me and pulled me closer.
“People are going to start looking at us.” I warned him.
“All the more reason for us to stay in town.” He kissed my neck once more and then went back to just one arm around the back of my waist. “Seriously, just think about it. We could get something else to eat before we leave the mall or pick something up on the way to wherever you want to stay. Then we can spend the night talking and getting to know each other better.”
It wasn’t a bad plan, and I had considered staying the weekend. However, that was when I had been trying to avoid him. Now, it would be to spend more time with him, but would we really just end up talking? I had a feeling we wouldn’t.
We walked through a few more stores. Stewart told me about his family back home when I asked what his mother was into.
“I have no clue.” He admitted. “It’s been quite some time since I’ve been at home long enough to really know. She’s a nurse, and I remember she used to have a collection of tennis shoes and those gigantic bags that women like to act like are purses.”
“Hey, don’t knock a good purse.” I shook my finger at him. “Sometimes you need a little extra space.”
He laughed. “Yep, she is going to love you.”
It made me a little nervous when he said that.
Meeting someone’s family was a big deal.
If I wasn’t sure we were ready to sleep together, I was for sure I wasn’t ready to even think about meeting his parents.
How would we explain how we met? He’d told me his father was a doctor and with his mother being a nurse, they would both know that I’d broken the rules to be with their son.
What if they reported me? I’d still lose everything.
“What’s wrong?” Stewart rubbed his hand up and down my arm.
“I was just thinking you should probably get her a new purse.” I sidestepped. “She might need a new one.”
“That’s not a bad idea.” He smiled and pressed a quick kiss to my lips. “Thanks, baby.”
He’d called me that in the restaurant. I had never been one of those girls that was really into pet names. I was a grown woman, not some child, but the way he said it made me all tingly inside.
“You okay?” He had his arm around my waist again.
“Yeah.” I smiled. “Maybe spending the night here isn’t such a bad idea.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Alright.” He pulled out his phone.
In for a penny. If I was already across the line, I might as well enjoy it while it lasted.
I followed Stewart outside of Colorado Springs to a building that looked way fancier than what I had been expecting.
This looked more like a resort than a simple hotel.
The building was surrounded by trees and when I got out of my car and looked to the right, I could see all the lights of downtown Colorado Springs.
“This is a bit much, don’t you think?” I closed the car door.
“Not at all.” He popped his trunk and pulled out the bags of clothes that we both bought at the mall. It wasn’t as if either of us had planned for an overnight visit, so we’d needed something to sleep in and clothes for tomorrow.
The inside looked like we’d stepped into an old money mansion with plush couches and glossy hardwood floors.
There was a winding staircase off to the side, and in the back of the lobby was one of those sliding glass doors that overlooked a lighted stone patio with a fire pit and a million-dollar view of the city.
“We can’t stay here.” I whispered to Stewart. “This place has to cost like four hundred dollars a night.” Given it was a Saturday night, it was probably more.
“Don’t worry about it.” He kissed my cheek and went over to check us in.
I stood there completely out of my depth. I’d dated guys before. I’d even gone out of town with one of them, but I’d never stayed in some place this fancy.
“Ready?” Stewart came back with the key to our room. I nodded, still taking in the place.
The elevator was just as nice as the lobby, and when we got off on the third floor, I followed him to our room. He scanned the key card, then held the door open for me to walk in first.
My breath caught as my eyes moved around the space.
The halls were a delicious pale color that accented the deep wood furniture perfectly.
The bed had to be a king cause it took up the majority of the room.
Beyond it, there was a checkered chair that sat next to a floor to ceiling wall of windows and a desk with a chair that looked more like it belonged in a dining room than in a hotel.
There was even a chandelier on the ceiling.
“This is too much.” I continued through the door.
“Nonsense.” He put our bags down on the bench I had missed. It was sitting beside a door that I assumed went to the bathroom.
“We are only here for one night.” He wrapped his arms around me from behind. “We might as well make the most of it.”
“I guess you’re right.” I leaned back into him.
“Are you hungry?” He swayed us side to side.
“Not yet.” We had picked up a couple slices of pizza before leaving the mall. We also had our leftovers from lunch, so we didn’t need to worry about starving.
“Do you want to change?”
“Um, sure.” Why was I so nervous? It wasn’t like I was some starry-eyed virgin. And we agreed not to have sex tonight. I should be able to relax.
“We could always watch a movie.” Stewart suggested. “Or we could go sit by the fire pit. We don’t have to stay in here if it’s too much pressure.”
“It’s not that.” I stepped away from him and went to sit on the side of the bed. Of course, it was like sitting on a cloud.
“Then what is it?” He sat down in front of me.
If we were going to do this, then he needed to know what he was getting into. I lifted the bottom of my shirt.
“Baby.” He reached out to stop me. “I told you we don’t have to rush.”
“That isn’t it.” I kept going until the shirt was gathered under my breasts. Stewart’s eyes zeroed in on the mangled scars on the side of my body. The scars I pretend don’t exist.
“What happened?” His hand skimmed my stomach.
“When you looked up my history of playing basketball, did you notice I stopped after my sophomore year?” I wasn’t looking his direction. I had my eyes on the view of the city below us.
“Yes.”
“I had a friend too.” I let go of my shirt, thinking about the friend who he told me about.
The one who wanted to join the Air Force.
“My friend loved to ski. She was always inviting me to come out on the mountain with her and her family. I told her that I didn’t ski, but she promised to teach me.
” I’d been so stupid back then. Stupid and cocky.
“I agreed one weekend. I didn’t know a bunny hill from a black diamond.
” I shook my head. “There was no way that I understood she was taking me up higher than she should have in order to teach me. We started off fine. I was really getting it and, surprisingly, having fun. Then another skier bumped into me, and I lost control. I went flying down the mountain. She followed screaming directions at me, but it didn’t help.
Needless to say, I’m lucky to be alive.” I closed my eyes remembering being airlifted off the side of the mountain and to the nearest hospital.
“It was one of the only times my mother came back up here after the divorce. The second time was when I graduated.” I skipped the grueling details.
No one needed to relive that. “My dad had me transferred out here to the base hospital. He was retired, but he was able to get it done since I was still a dependent. It took six surgeries to make sure I wasn’t paralyzed and a year and a half of physical therapy to walk normally again, let alone run.
All my dreams of playing professionally vanished. ”
“Rita.” He leaned down, and I felt his lips touch my skin. I’d been able to hold back the tears, but that touch opened the floodgates.
“Things got bad.” I needed to keep going.
“I didn’t want to do anything. I was already majoring in psychology, so I knew I was depressed, but I couldn’t pull myself out of it.
I wasn’t sleeping. When I did, all I did was have nightmares.
I wasn’t eating. Any time someone mentioned the accident or school, I lost it. ”
“PTSD,” he whispered.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“It took a lot of therapy and conversations to pull myself back together. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping others. I know what it’s like to be in that space and not feel like you can get out.”
“After I came back to school, I focused all my energy on my degree and still managed to graduate on time.” I opened my eyes and looked into his.
“That’s why I can’t lose my license. Like you, I care about my patients too much to take that chance.
This is my purpose. I truly believe it’s the reason I didn’t die on that mountain. ”
Stewart sat back. His hands were still resting against my waist. His thumb ran back and forth over my skin.
“We heard the click before the bomb exploded.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m telling you this, not as my therapist.” He clarified. “I’m telling you because I understand what you’ve been through.” I could see his chest fill with air.
“When I saw the truck in front of us fly in the air, I knew we were all dead. Rafi slammed on the breaks and we heard another click. He floored it, and we just missed the second explosion. It was quiet for a millisecond and then chaos took over.”
“I could hear the guys in the truck screaming in pain. The others who were with me were radioing for help. My first instinct was to get out and do my job, but as soon as I opened the door, Devon pulled me back. We didn’t know if there were other buried mines, and there was a chance I could take one wrong step and kill us all. ”
“I treated the guys in my truck. I didn’t know I’d been injured.
I was working on pure adrenaline. When the pararescue got there, I was finally able to get in there and help the others.
I still blame myself for the burns Rylan suffered and the fact Andre came close to losing his leg.
If I’d been able to get to them faster, I could have helped more. ”
“You did the best you could.” I put my hand against his cheek.
“It wasn’t enough.” He shook his head. “That’s why getting back to work is so important to me. I let them down once. I don’t want to do it again.”
I took a deep breath. “We could both lose everything we’ve worked for being together. Everything that’s important to us both.”
“Yeah, but we could also gain more than we know.”
I put my arms around his neck and climbed onto his lap. My lips against his. He held me tight in his arms. His hands smoothed their way up my back and into the base of my hair.
“I’m glad you’re here.” I told him.
“I’m glad you’re here.” He smiled at me.
“So, we’re doing this?”
He nodded. “Oh, yeah.”
“I just hope we don’t regret it.”
He kissed me again. “I promise I won’t let that happen.”
I hoped he was right.