Chapter 12
Rita
The knock on my door surprised me. I didn’t get visitors. Most people in town didn’t even know where I lived. I looked out the peephole, and my breath caught. I swung the door open and pulled Stewart inside.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I looked around the hallway of my apartment building to make sure it was clear before closing the door. “How do you know where I live?”
“I followed you home from Colorado Springs, remember?” I’d actually forgotten, but he’d followed behind me to make sure I made it here safe. We’d stayed on the phone the whole drive back.
“How did you know which apartment?” I leaned back against the door.
“We were on a video chat when you were coming home, and I saw the number.” He advanced, so I was pinned to the door and his body pressed into mine. “Hi, baby.” His mouth took mine in a kiss that pulled at my heart.
His arms went around my waist as mine went around his neck. I really loved how tightly he always held me. It was like he couldn’t get us close enough, and it made me feel so wanted.
“God, I missed you.” His lips went down to my neck and across my shoulder before coming back to my mouth. His tongue danced with mine until both of us were groaning and panting, and I was five seconds from dragging him back to my bedroom and riding the hell out of him.
“What are you doing here?” I forced myself to pull away.
“I wanted to talk to you about something, and I didn’t want to do it over the phone.”
“Something personal or something you should be talking to Aspen about?” I worked my way out of his arms.
He let out a breath. “How long is this going to be a problem for us?”
“What are you talking about?” I kept walking toward my couch.
“This idea that you’re still my therapist or that I see you that way?” He followed and sat beside me. “When I talk to you, I’m talking to you as my girlfriend. As the woman that I’m interested in. That’s the only way I’ve ever talked to you.”
“I can’t help it.” I told him.
“Do you still see me as a patient? As someone who needs your help?” He asked.
Did I? Was that why I always asked the question?
“You think of me as your girlfriend?” I sidestepped.
“Of course.”
“But we’ve only really gone out once and we’ve only really been talking over the phone.”
He shrugged. “If we were long distance, that would probably be the case, but it wouldn’t change how I feel.”
“Oh.” I so wanted to ask how he felt, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear the answer. “What did you need to talk me about that was worth risking coming over here?”
“It wasn’t that big of a risk.” He took my hand. “I might be a medic, but I still had to go through Ranger training. I know how to get in and out without anyone noticing me.” I really hoped that was true.
“Alright.”
“And it was more that I wanted to ask you a question.” He shifted, so we were facing each other. My heart sped up. There was no way that he was about to ask the question it looked as if he was about to ask.
“You know I’m going home in a couple weeks, right?” I nodded. “I would like you to come with me.” I waited for him to smile, laugh, do something. He had to be kidding, but he didn’t move. For a second, I wasn’t sure he blinked.
“I can’t.” I pulled my hand out of his.
“Why not?” He sat back. “It isn’t like you have to tell anyone that you will be with me, and I can guarantee that no one in my family is going to care about the fact that you started out as my therapist.”
“And the fact that I’m black and you’re white? Not to mention you’re from freaking Georgia.”
“Oh my god, are you?” I didn’t like the sarcasm or the head tilt after he said it. “And you’re from Louisiana.” He shrugged. “What difference does it make?”
“It’s the South.” I reminded him.
“Yeah, but it isn’t like it’s still nineteen forty-five or anything,” he said. “No one is going to arrest us for being together.”
He wasn’t wrong, but there would maybe be some looks. Possibly some whispers, but it wasn’t like it was back in the day.
I shook my head. “We still can’t.”
“Why? Is it because it’s too soon?” He questioned.
“Yeah.” Didn’t he get that?
“Alright.” His face fell. “I just thought it would be nice to be somewhere we didn’t have to hide.” He sat back up and took my hands again. “Wouldn’t it be nice to go to dinner together or the movies? How about walking around a mall again? Or waking up together? Wouldn’t that be fun?”
I smiled. “Yeah, it would.”
“Then come with me.” He tightened his hold. “You don’t have to meet my family if that is too much. We could get a hotel room and spend part of the time doing all those things.”
“Stewart, you’re supposed to be going for your mother’s birthday. You can’t blow her off to spend time with me.” The whole family would end up hating me. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He pulled me into his arms and gave me a kiss. “Can I at least buy you dinner tonight?”
“Stu.” I pulled back.
“We don’t have to go anywhere.” He smiled, with that dimple I loved so much showing. “We can order and have it delivered.”
“I supposed that would be okay.”
“Yeah?” He pulled me back into his arms and leaned back on the couch. “We could watch a game or a movie here?”
“True.” I bit the side of my lip. “You could even possibly stay the night.”
I felt his intake of breath. “But I didn’t bring my jammies.” His smile grew.
“You don’t need them.”
“Who could refuse an offer like that?” He dropped his lips to mine, and I took that as a yes.
“Can I see you tonight?” Stewart stood at my door kissing me goodbye.
“Yes.” We’d spent the morning talking and having breakfast. He was still trying to convince me to go home to Georgia with him, but I was holding strong. It was too soon, and I couldn’t take the chance that someone would make the connection.
“Good.” He kissed me again. “You have your PT appointment before you go to the office, right?” I nodded. “I’ll be at the clinic doing rounds if you need me.”
“Stu.” He really wasn’t getting it.
“I’m a doctor, Rita.” He leaned back to look me in the eye. “There could be any number of medical reasons that you need me to stop by.” I hadn’t thought of that.
“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”
He brought his hands up to cup my face. “Baby, if you need me, I don’t give a shit who knows about us. I’m going to be there. I won’t let you go through something without me if I can help.”
“Stewart.”
“I mean it, Rita.” He took a long breath. “I’m falling in love with you.”
“What?” I hadn’t expected him to say that.
“I’m falling in love.” He kissed me. “With you, and that trumps keeping this a secret. At least it does for me.”
“You can’t be.” I backed away. “Stewart, I know it might feel like that, but it’s only because I was there when you needed to talk.”
“Don’t do that.” I hadn’t heard this tone since we first met. “Don’t act like I’m some patient that’s clinging to you because you healed me.”
I stayed silent.
“Is that what you think this is?” He moved so we weren’t touching at all. “You think I see you as some sort of savior that got me over the accident?” I bit the side of my lip. “Wow.”
“It isn’t that uncommon for people to develop a strong connection to their therapist.” I reasoned. “I did it with mine.”
“Really?” His eyes were slants. “Did you want to fuck your therapist too? Did you dream about him inside you? Making you come so hard that the entire building heard you crying out? Cause that’s what I want.
That’s my dream. I’m dying to hear you shouting my name as I’m balls deep inside you and making you come. ”
“Major.”
“Oh, we’re back to that, are we? Ms. Fontaine?” He emphasized my last name as he shook his head. “This isn’t about me. This is about you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re the one who can’t get past how we met, not me, and not everyone else.
” His hand went through his hair. “I really thought we had moved on from that shit, but you’re never going to see me as anything other than your former patient.
The guy you shouldn’t want. The one who makes you feel all the wrong things. ”
“That’s not true,” I said softly.
“Yes, it is.” He dropped his shoulders. “Maybe you were right. Maybe this won’t work, and it’s a mistake.
Not because of my issues, but because of yours.
” He went to grab hold of the door. “I know what I want, Rita, and that’s you.
” He wasn’t looking at me. “I’ve never seen you as my doctor, therapist, or anything other than a woman I could love.
Someone who I could possibly spend my life with. ”
I could feel the tears falling, but I didn’t bother stopping them or wiping them away.
“I’m sorry this didn’t work.” He opened the door and then looked right at me. “On the bright side, at least you don’t have to worry if anyone sees us together.” He walked out and let the door close behind him.