Chapter 5
JULES
He was gonna be pissed that I was late. Did I give a shit? No. Not even half a shit.
So why did I hesitate halfway across the room when I saw him sitting at a table by himself, irritation etched on every line of his face?
He never failed to make me feel small. I should turn around right now and leave.
But then he was raising his eyes, seeing me standing there, hesitating.
A flash of smug amusement crossed his features. Of course he knew he unsettled me. He was so certain at some point I'd come around to his way of thinking. If he kept me under his thumb for long enough.
Fuck that.
Hands by my sides, I sauntered over to the table, pulled out a chair and sat down.
Without a word, I picked up a menu and started to run my eyes down the options. Nothing looked as good as Harlow's cooking, meatballs aside. Thinking about those made bile rise in my throat. Not the ones made out of pork and beef, those were good. I mean the ones made out of…person.
I should be mad at her for feeding those to my brother, but here we were. I'd fought the attraction for as long as I could, but I fucked her once. I was addicted now.
Whatever happened, Harlow and I were together. You didn't hear that from me, though. If you tell anyone, I'll deny it.
"How nice of you to grace me with your presence," he said. As if there wasn't a menu between us, blocking the view.
“Guy's gotta eat," I said, deciding on the club sandwich.
Was it too early for a stiff drink? I should settle for an explanation as to why he was living in New York now.
He seemed settled on the west coast. Had he followed me and Cass?
I knew he came and went, but if he was going to stay, maybe I wouldn't.
"Gracious as always," he said. Unruffled, of course.
If I lowered this menu right now and punched him in the face, he probably wouldn't blink. He'd have me arrested and hauled away. Knowing him, he'd do it all without looking like I got to him.
I won't lie, I was tempted to test that theory out. I decided it wasn't worth it. I wouldn't hurt my hand on this prick.
"I was surprised you responded to my message," he said.
I was surprised he'd admit that. Pride might as well have been his middle name.
Judge Forrest Pride Cross. Personally, Judge Forrest Asshole Cross sounded more appropriate to me, but whatever. He could have two nicknames. I didn't give a shit about that either.
I lowered my menu and put it aside.
"You offered to pay for lunch. I figured I'd take you up on it." I leaned over to pour myself a glass of water from the jug on the side of the table. "How often does someone get a free lunch?"
He looked at me like he thought I was naive.
Yeah, we all knew the expression 'there's no such thing as a free lunch', even if that lunch came from Forrest Cross.
Especially if it came from him.
"That wasn't why I asked you to come here," he said.
"That's unfortunate. That's why I'm here," I replied.
Two could play the unruffled game. Whatever he wanted from me, he wasn't going to get it.
"Julius," he sighed. "You know I never wanted things to end up this way."
I paused with my glass halfway to my lips. "Do I?" I raised an eyebrow and took a sip.
"I know things have been difficult over the years," he said evenly. He could have been talking about the recent fluctuations in the stock market. Yeah, I keep up with shit like that. Surprising, I know.
"We haven't always seen eye to eye." His hand was firm around his glass, while it sounded like he was blaming me.
As if he hadn't created the living hell situation to begin with.
If he was good at anything, it was placing blame on others.
It usually worked too. He walked off smelling like roses, and everyone else smelled like dog shit.
"We've never seen eye to eye," I reminded him.
"Things weren't that bad," he said, effectively trying to erase years of him being a controlling prick.
"Things were that bad, and then some, Forrest," I said, emphasizing his first name.
I wanted to see him flinch. Of course, he didn't.
He sighed like he was having a conversation with a toddler, lacking the basic skills for logic.
"You're over-exaggerating, Julius," he said coolly. "It's easy to look back and think they were bad times. There were good times too. You remember those, don't you?"
"You were the one who brought up the bad times." I was the one who was about to throw the rest of my water in his face and walk out.
He sighed. "I know I haven't always been there for you."
I slammed my glass down on the table hard enough for some of it to splash out onto my hand.
"You were never there for me. Not when I needed you. You were barely around when Augustus…" I sat back and shook my head. "He deserved better. So did Cassius."
“Son…” he started.
"You don't get to call me that," I snapped. "You walked out and left Mom, remember?"
She was better off without him. She hadn't seen that when he left. She was devastated. Cass, Auggie and I, we'd changed our names to her maiden name. None of us wanted anything to do with the sperm donor who called himself our father. The man whose whole life centered around judging other people.
The problem was, he always brought that home. Happy to be judge, jury and executioner for his three biological sons.
Sons he ignored unless he had something negative to say to us. We were taking the wrong classes in school. Our grades weren't high enough. Why weren't we first string? Never a word of praise. Not one.
"I left her. I didn't leave you," Forrest argued.
"You left all four of us and we were better off for it," I snarled. "Now you're here to do what? Make amends? Try to be a father for a change? It's too late for that. I don't want anything to do with you. Neither does Cassius."
Forrest's expression hardened. "You don't get to decide that on his behalf."
"The hell I don't," I said. "I'm his older brother, it's my job to protect him from people like you. For the first time in his life, he's actually happy. If you go anywhere near him, I'll personally rip your fucking head off."
If I didn't, I knew a few people who would.
Forrest scoffed. "Cassius is my son. If I want to see him, and communicate with him, I will."
I scoffed back. "He doesn't want anything to do with you. What part about that do you not understand? It's very simple." In case he didn't get it through his thick skull, I laid it out for him.
"When you left, life was better. We don't want anything to do with you. Whatever you have to say, whatever you asked me to come here for, the answer is no."
I took a couple of harsh breaths, forcing oxygen in and out, trying to keep a level head.
What would Boner say? He'd be cracking jokes right now.
I didn't have that in me. Not today. Not sitting across the table from this asshole.
I shouldn't have come. I should have deleted his message and moved on with my life.
The only problem with that? He would have found a way to see me. Men like him didn't take no for an answer. He'd even attended Harlow's special dinner last night. I'd watched him enter. I wanted to confront him. Tell him to stay away.
I knew Harlow was making sure Cass stayed in the kitchen or I would have. I'd kept my mouth shut. Last night wasn't the time to make a scene. I kept my peace and hoped like hell they didn't see each other.
As far as I could tell, they hadn't. Cass would have said something.
Shame Forrest wasn't gassed along with them. Hypnos would have done us a favor, tossing him into the vat.
Was it too late to tell Boner he should get himself the vat he was talking about? Maybe we could borrow the one Hypnos threw Harlow into?
What was I thinking? I'd seen them kill people. I'd killed one person in self-defense. Thinking about killing my father in cold blood?
It shouldn't have felt as right as it did.
I scrubbed a hand over my face.
"You haven't heard what I have to say yet," Forrest pointed out.
I should have told him to fuck all the way off, but something in his expression made me hesitate.
He saw it too. Bastard knew me too well.
"You may not find it as unsavory as you think," he said smoothly.
"Let me guess, you're here to offer me money?" I asked. "It doesn't matter how many zeros there are."
"I'm not here to offer you money. I know you won't take it. No, I'm here to offer you something much better. I'm going to give you an opportunity to help me."
I stared at him for a moment before laughing. "That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. How gracious of you to allow me to help you."
Was this dickhead smoking some wacky weed? What sort of offer was this?
"Always so ready to jump to conclusions." He rolled his eyes. "I should have enrolled you in gymnastics classes when you were a boy. You excel at twisting things inside out."
"You excel at being a shithead," I said, sounding petulant even to my own ears.
I would have enjoyed gymnastics. If he knew that, he wouldn't have enrolled me in it.
Besides, a sport like that wouldn't be masculine enough for the son of Forrest Fucking Cross.
Did I mention Judge Cross is a judgy prick? He wouldn't have allowed Cass to do musical theatre if he was around at the time. Lucky for Cass he wasn't. He would have stomped on his whole soul until it was nothing more than a shadow. Forrest would have broken Cass. And I would have broken Forrest.
Instead, I let myself be broken. Tried to be the wall between my younger brother and our father.
He must have seen that on my face because he said, "I'm only going to ask you to do one little thing. In return, I'll agree to stay away from Cassius."
I frowned. "Forever?"
"Forever," he agreed.
"You promise?" I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him, but I knew he didn't break a promise. If I could rid my brother of our father for the rest of his life, it'd be worth it for one little favor.
He held out his hand for me to shake. I looked at it like it was a poisonous snake about to rear up and bite me.
I met him halfway, clasping his hand for a quick shake.
"Fine, I'll do your little favor, if you agree to stay away from me as well."
"Fine," he said without argument.
Of course, that was an easy promise for him to make. Whatever he wanted, he wanted it more than he wanted a relationship with his sons.
On some level, that hurt. On another, if I never saw him again, it'd be too soon.