Chapter 5
Frequency
Finding Knowledge going off on Harbor on top of everything else that I’ve been going through was enough to set a nigga off.
He was out of line, and I couldn’t let him think he could keep disrespecting her when she was becoming an important factor in my life.
There were plenty of women he had fucked with over the years that I didn’t care for, but I didn’t talk to them like he had talked to her.
The shit was bugging me because he was my boy, the only fucking friend I had ever had, until Harbor came along.
She was becoming one of my favorite people to talk to.
She brought a calmness to my life that was needed, and I wasn’t willing to risk that for anything, not even my oldest homie.
“Daddy!” Ivy dove into my arms and I held on to her.
“Hey baby girl.” I kissed the top of her head.
“Did you enjoy your birthday?” she asked, looking up at me with her big eyes.
Giving her a lazy smile, I nodded. I could feel Gardenia’s scrutinizing eyes all over me. This bitch never looked happy. Sometimes it was hard to even fathom that she and Ivana were sisters, they seemed like total opposites.
“Yeah, I did. Another year older, and wiser. I’m blessed.” I pulled her closer and she clung to me.
“Hmm, you seem… relaxed. Wonder if this… Harbor has anything to do with it.” Gardenia insinuated, looking me up and down. “Ivy can’t seem to stop talking about her.” She seemed jealous, and I laughed to myself.
“They’ve spent some time together. She’s a good influence on Ivy. You got a problem with it?” I asked, cocking one brow at her.
She looked like she wanted to say something, but it probably wasn’t appropriate from the sideways glance she gave my daughter. Instead, she cleared her throat and humbly bowed her head.
“No. None of my business.” She quipped.
Behind her, a big truck with a bed attached to the back of it wheeled into the circle drive and Gardenia glanced over her shoulder, looking on with interest.
“Who is that?” Ivy asked, pulling away from me.
“Someone dropping off a gift.” I answered. “Did you need anything else?” I questioned Gardenia.
“You trying to get rid of me?” She shot back.
“Just want to talk to Ivy and spend some time with her. Thanks for keeping her and for bringing her home.”
“You’re welcome,” Gardenia said, still eyeing me with suspicion. “I’ll call you later, Ivy. Be good. Frequency.” She backed away from the door just as the driver of the truck got out.
He went to the back bed and raised the door.
His partner that was with him went inside the truck and they wheeled out the teal colored 2021 Genesis G80.
I saw the car and it made me think of Harbor, so I bought it for her.
Gardenia was being nosy as hell as she climbed into her G Wagon and started it up.
“Wow, is that your new car?” Ivy asked, awestruck.
“I got it for Harbor, you think she’s going to like it?” I asked with a smile.
“She would be crazy if she didn’t.” Ivy spun around and began examining me. “So, did I miss something?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, watching them park the car.
A big red bow was tied around it, and the car gleamed in the bright ass sun. The driver began walking toward me, clipboard in hand for me to sign off. Once I jotted my signature, he went to load up with his partner to leave.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Harbor’s soft voice came from the top of the stairs.
She wore her hair pulled on top of her head and sported some joggers with a tight tank top. Barefoot, she padded down the steps. I wasn’t going to be the one to say anything, but she didn’t look like she felt well. She crossed her arms over her chest and Ivy peered up at her.
“Ugh, no offense, but you look like death.” My daughter voiced, disgusted.
“Thanks.” Harbor rolled her eyes and nudged her playfully.
“So, daddy was just about to answer my question.” Ivy perked up, rocking back and forth on her heels.
“And what question was that?” Harbor locked eyes with me.
“Well, I asked if I missed something around here. With you two.” She motioned her hands between us.
I simpered and bowed my head. Harbor held a breath in and waited for me.
“What do you think is going on, Ivy? You know I would never play it like you’re stupid. So, tell me what’s on your mind. You don’t have a problem speaking it any other time.” Harbor articulated.
“Are you like… together? Like dating and stuff?” She interrogated.
“If we were, how would you feel about that?” Harbor tested her.
Ivy didn’t respond, but she looked to me first. She dropped her hands at her side and a little pout formed on her lips.
“You said that this wasn’t that.” She voiced.
“It’s not something that I planned, Ivy, believe that.” I explained. “But… me and Harbor… we have a connection, and we care about each other. So things have changed. I wanted to talk to you about it, of course—”
“Why? Looks like you already made your decision.” Ivy retorted under her breath.
Harbor’s color changed and she looked like she was about to throw up right where she stood but she was fighting the urge to do so.
“Ivy—” she began, but my daughter glared at her.
“Save me the sappy speech.” She countered, and Harbor was at a loss for words. “My opinion doesn’t matter around here.”
Ivy tried to stomp around her, but she wasn’t having it.
Harbor blocked her path to the stairs with her thick ass frame.
They were going toe to toe with one another, and I was forced on the sidelines.
I wasn’t used to my daughter being this resistant.
It reminded me that I need to take the time to spend with her and get to know her.
“What have I done to you?” She asked, aiming a finger at herself.
“Other than be fake? Trying to get close to me so you can get close to him.” Ivy quipped resentfully.
I could see Harbor taking offense as anguish clouded her face and her eyes misted.
“Ivy, that’s not cool.” I stepped in.
“Oh, but it’s okay for her to be fake? She’s been using me to get to you, not even realizing that you don’t care about me either.” Ivy spat, anger taking over.
Floored by her words, I tried to think of a response, and none came.
Tears built in her eyes. I reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder, and she jerked away from me like my touch was fire.
Staring back at her with sympathy, I used a little force the next time so that she had no choice but to look at me.
With both hands on her shoulders, I looked into my child’s face.
“Ivy Roth, look at me when I talk to you.” I ordered sternly.
Still with an attitude and a pout to match, she looked me over.
“How can you think I don’t care about you?” I asked, making her scoff and her eyes fell to the ground. “You’re my child. I love you more than anything in this world.”
“I’ve been here for months, daddy. We haven’t gotten around to doing any of that stuff you said we would. If you aren’t working, you just don’t have time for me.” Ivy conveyed. “I spend more time with Harbor and Celine than you.”
“I’m sorry if that’s how you really feel.
” Harbor spoke up. “I thought we were getting to know each other and building our own relationship. I wasn’t sure until last night that I even wanted to pursue something with your father.
The idea was paralyzing, and I thought a lot about you in the process.
I don’t want to come between you two or anything like that.
Maybe I should just… leave.” She suggested and a nigga felt like he had been punched in the fucking gut.
The thought of her not being around regularly was not something to look forward to.
Ivy would have to figure out a way to work through her feelings.
I was in no way putting her before my daughter, but my happiness was something I rarely took into consideration.
At this stage in the game, if the big God wanted to bless me with Harbor, there was no way I was turning that away.
“No, that’s not what you’re doing.” I interjected, looking at them.
“You both mean a lot to me. This ain’t a competition for me or your place in my life either.
I have room for both. Ivy, I been fucking up, baby girl.
That’s not on you, that’s on me. I’ve been distracted by work, and yes, by Harbor. But it’s not her fault either.”
Ivy didn’t seem convinced. She continued to grill me with her arms folded over her chest.
“It was hard, having you here, and having her here. I was trying to work through my feelings about everything, and… shit wasn’t easy. You are my child. Nobody can take your place in my life. I thought your mama was my one and only shot at me being happy.” My gaze drifted over to Harbor on its own.
Ivy peeped my fixation on Harbor. There wasn’t a woman alive that could captivate me like she had. She was it. She didn’t even know the power she held over me. Shit was even left me shook most of the time. What we stumbled on and had been building up was something I decided was worth it.
“Do you still even love her?” Ivy croaked out painfully.
“Baby girl, your mother will hold a piece of my heart as long as I am living and breathing. So will you. Harbor just showed me how to open up that closed off space and make a little more room.” I acknowledged.
“Do you think that’s something you can do?
” I questioned, damned near holding my breath for a response.
Ivy wasn’t agreeable. Her big, round orbs bounced from me to Harbor and back again.
“I don’t hate you,” she finally admitted reluctantly to Harbor. “I just don’t want to betray my mama’s memory,” she whispered, breaking my heart.
Harbor’s face fell empathetically. If anyone could relate to Ivy, it was her.
“I would never ask you to. I am not her. But I would love to have my own relationship with you. I care about your daddy. I care about you. Accepting him is accepting you, Ivy. I can’t take one without the other. No matter how much of a brat you are.” Harbor teased.