Chapter 7 #2
“Among other things.” Ivana consented. “How are you feeling about everything?”
“I don’t know. This came out of nowhere.” she answered.
“And you don’t have to give it any thought right now.
This is your party.” I stepped in, bringing my eyes to hers and cupping her chin.
“We were talking about how we didn’t want to interrupt it with this grown-up mess.
That’s it. But you are thirteen now. So if you have any questions, you can ask them. ”
“I’m good. Not like anything I say is going to matter around here.” she muttered, causing a frown to cross my face.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, face molding into a frown.
“I’m talking about the fact that you just left.
You took the twins and were gone. Just like everybody else!
You planned this whole party for what? So you can go back to that apartment, away from us, again!
Why don’t you leave now, they all do. From Daddy to her!
” Ivy blew up, and shock rocked the entire room.
She aimed an accusing finger at her mother while she stood there shaking.
“I just want to go have fun with my friends. I don’t care anymore—”
“Ivy—” I tried to console her, but she drew away from me and closer to the door.
“No. I’m going to enjoy my party.” She stomped off, leaving my heart shattered into a million tiny, sharp pieces. I hadn’t expected that kind of reaction from her.
Frequency had his back against a chair at the table, one hand propping him up. He wore no expression, just this empty stare into nowhere. My eyes misted, and I took in a deep breath.
“I’m going to check on the twins.” I couldn’t bear to be in the same room any longer with Ivana nor Frequency.
What the fuck was happening to our life?
As soon as I was upstairs and away from everything, I broke.
I made sure I was deep enough in the hall so that nobody could walk up on me and see me as I sat there dwelling in my own misery.
I didn’t know that love could hurt this much.
Not being here was slowly killing me. The fact that Frequency hadn’t come out and said he wanted me back struck my heart.
We were living in this loop, and I didn’t know how to get out.
Burying my head in my arms as they rested on my knees, I wept until my chest and abs ached.
Face drenched with tears, I realized in that moment that something had to give.
I couldn’t live like this. Being unhappy was sure to affect my children in the long run, and I didn’t want that for them either given what Ivy was already going through.
I heard a door open nearby, and suddenly, Celine was there.
Her face filled with sadness, she got down on the floor beside me.
She didn’t utter a word. The somberness on my face must have told her everything she needed.
She wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer.
I dropped my head to her shoulder, and she held me tight.
I didn’t know how much I needed it until this very moment.
Frequency
“Ivy, we’ll talk later. Go outside with your friends,” I instructed, but my eyes were met with Ivana’s across the room.
She had gone too fucking far.
“Whatever.” My daughter rolled her eyes and went stomping outside.
“Ledge, Slice, handle this shit and put this mothafucka on ice,” I instructed.
“Kara, go check on the guests for the party and make sure everybody is straight until Harbor pulls her shit together.” Marching toward the mother of my first child, I snatched her up by the arm and dragged her reluctant ass away from her husband.
When he tried to put up a fight and go for his burner, Ledge and Slice were on either side of him. He might have been a new problem, but he wasn’t one that I was willing to tolerate.
After dealing with Arrow for majority of my career, there was no way that I was about to give in to his son.
My crew snatched him up, and he didn’t put up a fight or make any kind of noise as they dragged him to the pantry where there was a hidden entry to my cellar.
Dragging Ivana back into my office, she fought me the entire way.
I tossed her inside with so much force that she lost her footing trampling inside. I was in her face within seconds.
Backing her into a nearby wall, I got in her face while she caught her breath that had been knocked out of her from the impact. Fear ignited in her sharp almond eyes when she peered back at me.
“You putting your hands on me now? Hmm, just admit that the only thing you are mad about is that you still want me.” A gradual smile of satisfaction spread across her lips.
She attempted to hook one arm around my neck and draw me in. Her touch once weakened me, but now I didn’t flinch or budge from it. Her soft hand caressed my cheek, and just as our lips were about to touch, I gripped her throat tightly.
“That’s what you’re counting on, the love I once had for you,” I growled, jaw locked tight, glaring into her face.
“That shit is dead. There is only one woman I feel anything for, and her name ain’t Ivana fucking Samuels.
So whatever you thought you were going to accomplish coming here, think again.
I got no problem making you dead for real this time. ”
My words halted her, and her eyes stretched an extra size as they searched mine.
“You wouldn’t do that to Ivy,” she whispered.
“Try me.” I took my bottom lip between my teeth and grilled her. “You aren’t good for her. You don’t deserve her. And she’s better off without you. Ever since you’ve been back, you’ve been this thing lingering over all of us—out of place.”
“Out of place? I was here first! Now you want to sweep me out because of her!” she shrieked. “You were supposed to love me forever, Quency! It was supposed to always be us!”
“Is that why you married this mothafucka? Hmm?” My grip tightened on her neck.
She gasped while trying to suck in a few more breaths of air that I was slowly depriving her of.
“That’s the last time you see this nigga, you understand? And if I have to put you in a hole next to him, I will. Are we fucking clear?” I threatened.
Her eyes lost all expression, going completely slack when she gaped back at me.
“Yeah, we’re clear,” she said, emotionless.
Releasing her, I contemptuously studied her before turning and storming out of my own fucking office.
I was seconds off from clipping her ass right here and ending this shit.
Everything screamed at me that I would be doing us all a favor, but she was still my daughter’s mother.
The conflict that bounced around inside me was about ready to take me out.
Before I dealt with this mothafucka Mistro, I had to make sure that Harbor was okay.
Having her upset during all this was really tearing through me.
Ripping up the staircase, I found her in the hallway with Celine.
Seated on the floor, Harbor resting her head against her shoulder while staring off emptily.
When she saw me standing there, she immediately wiped away the tears and sniffled.
“We need to talk,” I told her, holding a hand out. “Come on,” I urged.
She glanced at Celine before giving me her hand. I pulled her to her feet and dragged her along toward my bedroom not far away.
“Free, what is this about?”
“I’m not in love with her. She’s the mother of my child, and that’s all. I love you and want you. Do you understand that? I’m not confused, and I don’t need time to tell me what I already know,” I communicated to her.
“I need time,” she clarified. “I need to take a step back, and I need to be on my own. I came here so na?ve. Barely living life. Now I’m a mother, and I can’t just think about myself.
My happiness is tied to theirs. I hadn’t told you yet because I didn’t know how, but I applied at this dance school, and it’s based in Morocco.
I got accepted. They called me this afternoon, and I am going.
I already told you I won’t keep you from the twins. We can share custody if you want—”
She was speaking, but I couldn’t hear her after that.
My heart shredded with every other word she spoke.
She sounded so sure that I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop her.
Or maybe I didn’t want to, or pride wouldn’t allow me to.
Shit bruised a nigga’s ego at the same time.
Here I was putting my shit out there, and it was too late.
Sinking down into the bed, my eyes dropped to the floor.
“Nah, you’re their mother,” I muttered. “They need you more than me right now. I wouldn’t put you in that position where you ever felt like we had to fight over that. I just… don’t like how we got here. I fucked up.”
She stepped closer to me, her perfume hitting my nostrils as she lingered in front of me.
So delicate, so fucking beautiful and perfect.
She held my heart in her hands, and all she had to do was squeeze or let go.
Right now, she was hopeless in everything.
This woman that once believed in the power of love now was cynical as fuck.
A man never knew what kind of scars he could leave a woman with if she was mishandled.
One of her hands landed on my shoulder, and she reached for my face, lifting my head so that we were looking deeply into one another.
Everything inside me became alert, stirred by the love she still carried for me behind her hurt gaze. It wasn’t over.
“I love you,” she said, her eyes landing on my lips. “God, I love you with everything inside me.” I looped one arm behind her back, yanking her so closely that her soft breasts pressed into my hard chest, and my dick immediately reacted.