CHAPTER 7
SECOND THOUGHTS
***
Madison
I awake in the night with Zach’s arm draped over my waist with my ass nestled against his tireless cock. The slow whir of the overhead fan spins rhythmically overhead, dizzying as I try to drown out the thoughts swirling in my head. My conscience is back in full force.
Why did I let this happen? Bedding Zach was not part of the assignment. My heart betrayed me, weakening my resolve against falling for another athlete.
Niggling doubt sneaks into my thoughts, tiptoeing quietly around the mistakes of my past and the doubt and fear that failure left behind. I’m falling for him, slowly but surely. But can I trust myself, risk my heart for him based on a single promise? The road to regain my confidence and rebuild the foundation that crumbled beneath me has been long and ongoing. How can I open my heart to someone who could potentially crush me?
Zach stirs at my back. His sweet, warm breath wafts over my shoulder, tickling the baby hairs at the base of my neck. I snuggle into him, warm and satisfied, yet conflicted about what the future holds. His hand slides over my hip, gently caressing its curve.
I rest my hand on his, stalling his movement. We need to talk about this–what we’re doing. Or maybe it’s just me needing to slow things down.
Zach nuzzles my hair. His lungs inflate as he inhales, and his impressive, muscular chest expands against me. On the outside, Zach checks off almost every box a girl could wish for. He’s handsome, charming, larger than life, athletic, and in good shape–the perfect specimen for protecting a woman. But physical attributes are no guarantee he’ll protect my heart.
Men have assumed an advantage over me for my entire life, at least from the time I hit puberty. I’ve second-guessed myself for as long as I can remember. My ex made it his job to remind me of the internal failures of my cognitive thinking ability. And I believed him long after he was gone.
What makes Zach any different?
“Tired?” Zach’s sleepy voice rasps against the tip of my ear, sending an army of eager goosebumps marching across my limbs.
He links his fingers with mine, drawing our hands to his warm lips. It’s the reassurance I need that he’s heeding my cue to slow down. The pillow moves as Zach rolls away from my back, no longer spooning me with his whole body. I miss the connection and his warmth quicker than I’d like to admit. He drags me to my back and hovers over me, propped on one elbow.
“What is it?” His shadowed eyes search mine as a worried crease stretches across his brow.
I linger on that crease as I search his eyes for the slightest hint of annoyance, anger, or a hidden agenda that’ll make me the fall guy for some unknown shortcoming. But all I read is concern in his gaze.
“Are we doing the right thing here?” My heart pounds a little harder. What I’m really asking is, am I doing the right thing. “We kind of jumped in with our feet first.”
I roll to my side and pull the sheet over my chest for some sort of protective barrier. Protection from what, I’m not sure. Zach has seen every inch of me already. The only layer left to peel back is what’s in my heart.
Zach’s gaze drops to the knotted bedding twisted between my fingers. He strokes my knuckles before returning his gaze to mine. “Do you want to be here, Madison? With me?”
“I do. It’s just...we barely know anything about each other.” I hesitate, not ready to admit that I’m afraid if I give in to the ache in my heart, I might lose myself to him. And that scares me more than a little bit. It scares the living daylights out of me. “We haven’t even been on a date. I don’t know if you like tacos with hard shells or soft...if you’re a fry or onion ring kind of guy...or what if you don’t like any of those things at all and–”
“What about lunch at the arena?” He cuts me off without so much as a grin at my blubbering. His eyebrow arches. “Technically, I asked you out.”
“I’m serious, Zach.” I scold with a bit of panic creeping into my throat. “I don’t just do things like–things like this.” I hold his gaze as my heart sprints to a gallop. My throat tightens, and I can barely breathe the words on the tip of my tongue. “I don’t want to make a mistake and repeat the past.”
“I promise you, I’m nothing like anyone in your past. All I’m asking for is a chance to prove it to you. Can you give me that?” His eyes soften as he brushes stray hairs away from my eyes. His thumb glides over my cheek and across my jaw. “Madison Collins, will you go out on a date with me? The real deal. No strings. No expectations. Just you, me, and a bonafide destination that isn’t the arena cafeteria.”
I repress the urge to get teary-eyed over his sweet gesture. We’re both naked in his bed, for pity’s sake. Yet, my heart softens as I warm to the idea of a bonafide date.
“I’d love to go on a date with you, Zach Brooks.”
He doesn’t think of me as a quick shag or one-night stand at all. And believe it or not, my bear trap brain intends to keep behind-the-scenes Zach Brooks under wraps, away from public view, and all to my little ole self.
***
Zach
All of my misconceptions about Madison are tossed out the window as soon as I see the fragile pain in her eyes. The bastard who wounded her and made her feel insecure is a first-class asshole who deserves ten times worse than what he doled out to Madison. But I keep my anger in check. He’s long gone, and Madison’s with me now. I’ll never let him or anyone else hurt her again.
I run my thumb over Madison’s lower lip. She peers up at me with somber, hooded eyes, and I’d give anything to see the greens and golds light up like glitter again. I roll on top of her, trapping her hands beneath the sheet. There’s so much more waiting for us if we can both leave the past where it belongs–behind us.
“It’s a date then.” My fingers creep down her neck to the spot directly above her clavicle. I trace it with my fingertip, stopping before I hit the spot that makes her squirm. “I like any kind of tacos, fries over onion rings, but most of all, I like you.” I skim her ticklish spot, and she reacts with a giggle. “And I love the way you squirm when I touch you.”
Her eyes light up, instantly glittering as she snickers. My fingers slink lower, over her breast to her ribs. Her eyes widen as I go in for the kill, tickling her until she’s giggling and breathless. Minutes later, we’re tangled in the sheets, breathing heavily.
As I sink into Madison, I give away part of my soul. Our secrets intertwine, and though there’s still so much to reveal, I know my secrets are safe with her. We’re kindred spirits. I can trust Madison with more than my innermost thoughts. I can trust her with life itself.