Zoya
Past
Recommendation: Listen to “Family Portrait” by P!nk
I rushed into Corleon’s condo building, because I knew my brother was here.
The front desk already knew me and allowed me to head to the elevator.
I’ve slept in Core’s spare bedroom plenty of nights.
Menace was always here because he and Corleon were like twins that had been separated at birth.
He had always understood my brother more than I had.
I was often jealous because how could he understand a man who I had grown up with? My brother, who I shared the same parents, and lived under the same roof with. I never understood Maverick, no matter how much I tried to. Whenever there was Maverick, you would find Corleon right next to him.
These days, he was going by Menace, and I had to admit the name fit his heartless ass.
As soon as the elevator doors opened, I headed down the hall to his door, slamming my fist on it. My heart was beating a million miles per hour.
I almost wanted to break out in tears because what I had witnessed couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be the result of my brother meeting my boyfriend.
Corleon opened the door, and I shoved right past him roughly, not caring that this was his home and I was barging inside of it like I owned it.
“Where is he?”
“Sleep. What the fuck happened?”
“You know exactly what happened. You always know what goes on in that man’s life!” I screamed.
My vision was blurry as I made my way down the hall, sad and mad all at the same time. The way he was in that hospital… it wasn’t normal. A man shouldn’t ever look like that. Maverick tried to end him.
A bullet would have been easier.
My brother was asleep on his back, his arms at his sides. I could see the bruising on his hands. They reflected what I saw when it came to Danny. His family looked at me like I was a monster. As if I was the one who had done this to him.
In a way, because my brother had done this, in their eyes that was the same thing.
“Maverick, how could you!” I screamed, causing him to open his eyes and stare at me like I disturbed his peace.
The nerve for him to ever think he deserved fucking peace with the shit he had done. He didn’t like Danny, and I respected his opinion, but that didn’t mean I would listen to him. That didn’t mean he had the right to do whatever he wanted when it came to my life.
“Bean, what?”
“Fuck that Bean shit… call me fucking Zoya!” I continued to holler at him, wanting a reaction.
“What?”
“Why would you do that to him? You almost fucking killed him!”
He finally sat up and put his feet onto the floor. “You didn’t need to be with that nigga anyway.”
“You don’t get to determine that! I love him, Maverick, and now his family doesn’t want anything to do with me!”
His family loved me.
They always loved when I came over. His mother called me whenever she needed something, and I always came through for her. Sometimes I would sit in the house with her while she smoked her cigarettes and just talked.
His cousins and aunts always treated me like one of them, even when he wasn’t around. Me and Danny had plans for a future. We would move in together when I finished school, and he would start trade school.
Once I was established in my career, we would get married and have children. I couldn’t remember how many times we’d had that conversation. The more I thought about the future, the more excited I became.
Having a family who chose each other was the dream for me. I was finally about to have that with a man who loved me, and he ruined that. How could I be with this man when my brother nearly ripped his life away from him with his hands?
“Say thank you for once. Always being a brat. The world doesn’t revolve around you, Bean.”
He stood up, stretched, and walked by me. Bypassing me like this conversation meant nothing. It reminded me of all the times I was sent to my bedroom, bypassed, and never considered. Things just happened for us, and no one ever had to explain anything.
One day my name was Eaton and the next it was Caselli without an explanation.
Maverick was like that, always making moves and never explaining a damn thing.
Kora knew everything, but she never said a word, either.
Always reminding me that Maverick had his reasons but never telling me what those reasons were.
“Why did you do this? I’m finally happy and you do this? Why do you hate meeeee!” I wailed, frustrated because the man I loved had tubes coming from his body and there were talks that he would have to shit in a bag for the rest of his life.
Do you know how bad you would have had to beat a man to end up like that?
“Zoya, grow the fuck up or shut the fuck up. Pick one… I don’t care which one,” he stated calmly, while grabbing a bottle of water.
“Tell me why, Maverick? I have to become a lawyer, I had to do this, do that… why?” I screamed.
“Cause I fucking said so!” he roared. “It doesn’t make sense to you now, but it will. That nigga was beneath you… you deserve fucking better. Stop settling for less like some ghetto ass bitch.”
Tears fell down my face as I stared at him. My face felt hot to the touch and everything was blurry. I felt so strong in this moment, stronger than I had ever felt in my life.
“I fucking hate you! I wish you were fucking dead!”
“You don’t mean that shit, Zoy,” Corleon added.
“I fucking do! I mean it with everything… he’s his exact fucking name…a fucking Menace. Maverick is fucking dead to me!” I spit at the floor, and walked toward the door, never looking back because although I was angry with my brother, I knew I had gone too far.
The problem with me was that when I went too far, I had to continue. I’d be damned if I apologized to him or took what I said back.
He was a Menace.