Goon #3
“Only Jah knows... only Jah knows,” she said over and over, as she kissed us both on the cheeks.
This had been a dream of hers for a long time, and I was grateful to make it happen. Her holidays were usually spent with Khaos, and then I would call the house to talk to her. I never pretended that this was easy for her. My decisions were the reason my mother was hurting.
Counting down and praying for her boy while he did his time. Never knowing the outcome because prison wasn’t meant to rehabilitate men. We were tossed in there and told that it was survival of the fittest. Some came home and were never right because that shit was meant to break you.
No matter how many times I let her down, she was always a phone call away. Always praying and speaking positive words to me, because she knew I needed to hear it. The sacrifices she made to come to this country and give us a life wasn’t lost on me. I saw her struggle but never lose her way.
Never complained.
Always took her shit on the chin while raising her kids without help. Mama was the goat in my eyes, because she was still standing. Life had screwed her over, causing her to lose physical pieces of herself, and still she stood.
Love never wavering and always an abundance to give. That was my mama, the one who should have given up on me, and never did. Never judged me or looked down on me because I took a different path than she wanted for me.
It was the reason I wanted to love my baby so damn much. I recognized a woman having to be hard because life didn’t give a fuck about a woman’s softness. It handed you blow after blow, and eventually Zoya had to learn how to fight back.
Not anymore.
“Yuh know she mi love yuh, Mommy,” I told her, kissing her again on the cheek, while she rubbed my shoulder.
“Mi love yuh bad, Sharon,” Khaos’s dumb ass said, and she laughed while squeezing him.
“Mi bwoys,” she kissed us both once more.
I heard sniffling and turned. “Mi sorry, Auntie. Mi know she mi fuck up,” Inez said, as she stood there with tears in her eyes.
Track marks lined her arms, her hair hadn’t been brushed in a while, and her sunken eyes held sadness. It felt like I was staring at her for the first time in a long time. Her body was bones, as she rubbed her arms to keep warm.
It was so hard to picture the girl who loved basketball and hanging with her friends. The girl who lived to debate me and Khaos on basketball, because she knew she could smoke us on the court.
And she could.
I missed that little girl. Before the world swallowed her up and forced this onto her. “Nez,” my voice broke, as I took a step forward.
She rushed into my arms, and I held onto her. This was my baby before Boobie even carried my child. Every time I left the house, she wanted to come right with me. As much as I wanted to be done with her, the shit was hard.
I couldn’t give up on her.
My moms never gave up on me.
Moms was crying while holding her arms out, and Inez kneeled down, as she held her in her lap. “Family doesn’t give up on each other. We hold each other down, despite the pain. I’m here, Nez… never went anywhere. You have to do better. Get clean for, Melle,” she said through tears.
Inez was the daughter she never had. It had always been the three of us, and naturally Nez was like the little sister.
“Awe, you all sound like Sebastian,” Boobie sniffled, as she wiped away her tears looking at us.
“Who?” Khaos asked.
“From The Little Mermaid… the lobster.”
“He was a crab,” Inez sniffled, still laying in my mother’s lap.
My mother kissed her head and rubbed her matted hair. “You can do this, likkle girl.”
Khaos removed himself and walked over towards the windows. “This is bullshit. We wasting our breath when all she gonna do is go back to the same shit. Hell, she might row her ass onto the main island to get a fix.”
“Don’t be like that, Kenneth,” my mother scolded.
He had more to say but held it back. Kissing my mother on the head, he went upstairs to where his room was. “And keep that shit down tonight.” He looked between me and Boobie.
I kissed her loony ass on the head before whispering into her ear. “Tore that ass up.”
Khaos was heated, and I knew it when he kissed our mom and headed upstairs. Inez remained in my mother’s lap. How many more times were we going to have this conversation? My goal was always to keep my family together, but Khaos moved differently. He didn’t have the tolerance for the bullshit.
With him, you stood on your word and there was no room for back tracking. He was nice to extend grace Inez’s way, but that had been exhausted. I could tell from the way he stared at her that she wasn’t his cousin.
He didn’t have love for her, because in his mind that wasn’t Inez. That wasn’t the one who was considered his twin. She had died a while ago, and she refused to come back.
“We have to get you cleaned up. You go into my shower, and I will find you some clothes to wear.”
Inez came with the clothes on her back. She was already a fucking errand added onto the long list of errands I had to run. I wasn’t waiting for her to figure out which house she wanted to grab clothes from.
I already had plans to go to the main island so I would grab her some clothes from local shops then. Until then, she better had worn a damn shirt and washed her shorts out by hand.
Boobie had gone into the kitchen to get my mother napkins for her nose. I watched how nurturing she was with moms, and how they had this little relationship that didn’t revolve around me. I turned to look out the window, and the view took your breath away.
The sound of glass shattering made us all turn to look. A kid riding by on his bike had busted out the cop’s window and continue to blow it down the block. The Black officer got on his radio right away, while the fat fuck that had a hard on for me continued with being a prick.
“You got any weapons on yo—”
A second set of sirens blared, and we both turned to look at the unmarked car pull behind the cruiser. A pair of brown YSL eel skin loafers touched the asphalt first and then the rest of the body followed.
“Is there any fucking reason that you have all these men lined up when there was a homicide three blocks over? I have two uniforms trying to keep a crowd back, but you have all these men lined up… any of you the suspects?” she stepped from in front of the Black officer and pointed at us.
Khaos smirked. “Nah, Ms. Officer lady.”
She bit back the smile that wanted to come across her face. “You can put your hands down and get on out of here.”
“Detective Hill, these men we—”
“Minding our fucking business before you came over here doing weird shit.” The damn rebel was back at the shit again.
Detective Hill snapped her fingers as she got him to focus on her. “Chill all of that down before you rebel yo’ ass in a cell overnight.”
He realized she wasn’t playing with him and he chilled out. “My fault.”
She spun around to face the officers behind her and pointed her finger into the chest of the fat one “Go to the fucking crime scene and put more tape up… over here playing cops instead of fucking being one.” She watched as both of them walked back to the car, defeated that a woman that out ranked them had chewed their asses out.
The minute she gave everyone permission to get on with their day, those niggas didn’t wait, they got low. I was gonna spend twice as much time on my prayer mat once I got with Boobie.
I was going to hold, kiss, and cherish that this was a second chance. “Kenneth, you are always in trouble.” She winked, as she walked towards her car.
“Trying to find out what trouble with you is like, Detective.” He smiled, biting down on his lip as he watched her ass.
She blushed. “You not ready for anything with me, Kenneth.”
“Yo, Goon… don’t be fucking rude. Say hi to your sister-in-law,” he said, and she screwed her face up.
“What up, Sis? Good looks on the save.”
She stood there with her hand on her hips. “So, it runs in the family?”
“What’s that, Dear?” Khaos questioned.
“Delusion.”
Khaos wasn’t even a happy go lucky kind of nigga that smiled often. The fact that she had him with damn near all his teeth showing, told me something.
“You ain’t heard about them Wraithe men?”
“Nah I haven’t.”
He chuckled, looking away and then returning his gaze to her. “We always get the girl.”
She laughed, as she got into her car, turning on the sirens and speeding down the block.
“He’s having a stroke… I know that look,” I heard Boobie, as she stepped on my damn toe trying to look in my face clearly.
“I’m not having no damn stroke, Zoya.”
Even Inez was on her feet looking concerned.
“Then don’t be staring off into space like that,” my mother scolded.
I looked between all three of them and decided it was best to follow Khaos’s lead. “Dinner isn’t until later, I’m going back to sleep.”
“Eat your breakfast,” Boobie called behind me.
I’ve had her eggs and knew I was avoiding them shits at all costs. “Come on, Bando.”
“Aht aht… don’t feed him the food, Goo!” she whined.
Fuck.