Chapter 13 #2
“Yay,” she said and ran off, obviously happy to let him make her Christmas tree dreams come true.
Conrad took off his coat and went downstairs, then looked over the model he and Forrest were working on.
The figure was in multiple parts. The legs and hips stood as one piece, with the torso still a work in progress.
The ancillary pieces had been started, but Conrad was still waiting for the bricks he’d ordered.
They had been shipped and were expected any day.
After sighing and pushing down the urge to work on it, he got the tree out of storage and carried it upstairs.
It was a slim tree about seven feet tall.
That way it made a nice show but didn’t take up a huge amount of space in the living room.
It was also pre-lit, so he got it together and plugged in before calling Lizzie.
“Daddy, it’s beautiful.” She danced around the room, and Conrad grinned as he returned downstairs to get the ornaments. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, Lizzie was coming down. He blocked her from getting any farther, and she turned around and went back up. “Are those the ornaments?”
“Yes.” A lot of them had come from Lizzie’s mother.
Conrad set the tub down and slowly pulled out the wrapped decorations, explaining which ones had come from his sister and what they meant.
“This one was from me. I gave it to you for your very first Christmas.” He hung it on the tree and gave Lizzie some others to put up.
“Can I help with the star?” Lizzie asked once the box of ornaments was empty.
“How about you get it out?” Conrad said, and Lizzie got the tree topper out of the box. It had been one Gwen had for her tree. Conrad took it from Lizzie and carefully put it on the top, and then he plugged it in, making the gold star glow.
“It’s really pretty,” she said, happily skipping around the room. “So is Santa coming tomorrow?”
Conrad scooped her up and tickled her. “Nope. You have to wait until December twenty-fifth. And it’s only late November. So almost four weeks. Do you think you can do that?” Lizzie was anything but patient sometimes.
“That long?” she pouted.
“Yes. But when you get up tomorrow, it will be a whole day closer.” He scooped her up and carried her to her bedroom.
“Let’s get you ready for bed. You want to be on Santa’s nice list.” He smiled and let Lizzie get ready for bed.
Then he tucked her in, read her a story, and said good night.
She was already half asleep by the time he left the room.
When he came back downstairs, he was surprised to find his mom in the kitchen, making tea. “I thought you had gone home.”
“I did, but I saw the tree and it made me sad. Gwen always loved this time of year.” She poured a couple of mugs and brought them to the table. “Anyway, how are you?”
“I’m fine, I guess.”
“And how are things with your man?” she asked.
Conrad sipped, then put down the cup. “Is this going to be a grilling? Because if it is, you can stop now. I think things are as good as they can be right now. He and I have to be careful, and it’s best for Lizzie if she isn’t aware.
” He sighed and leaned back. “I’ve thought about putting Lizzie in the other class after the winter break.
That way she wouldn’t be in Forrest’s class any longer, but that isn’t fair to her.
So I can either stop seeing Forrest, or the two of us have to be careful, and since the thought of walking away from him makes my stomach ache and my head hurt, I’d say I only have one choice.
I won’t put Forrest’s job in danger. He loves what he does. ”
“So you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place,” she said. “I hate that for you. Relationships can be complicated and messy, but this one seems to be extra of both. And that’s not what I want for you.”
“You’ve always said that we don’t always get what we want. And so things are a little complicated. It’s better that than nonexistent. I like him and I enjoy his company.” He was not going to reveal his feelings to his mother before he told Forrest how he felt… and how deep those feelings had grown.
“Maybe. But you’re still my son and my little boy.
You always will be, and what I want more than anything is for you to be happy.
” She sipped her tea and set down the mug with a soft tink on the table.
“When you first told me you were gay, it scared the hell out of me. Not because I cared that you liked boys instead of girls, but because I knew it would be tougher for you. This world doesn’t take kindly to people who are different.
Then when Gwen died, and she asked you to take Lizzie, I was worried all over again because I figured that if you had a child, it would be even harder for you to find someone.
But you did. And I don’t want you to miss out. ”
“Yeah, but as you said, the world doesn’t take kindly to folks who are different.
I have to make the best of it. So does Forrest. I hate that a group of parents could make trouble for him.
I don’t even know if the school is aware of his orientation, and I’m not going to be the one to cost him his job. ”
Mom patted his hand. “I know how you feel. Just know that I want you to have some happiness.”
“I know, Mom. And I know that taking Lizzie is cramping your style.” Though what style his mother had was something he didn’t really want to know. “See, I want you to be happy too.”
“I love the time I have with her.” She swallowed. “I was hurt when Gwen asked you to be her guardian instead of me.”
“Awww, Mom, she didn’t mean to hurt you.” Conrad knew her reasons, and they were good ones.
“I know that. By the time Lizzie graduates high school, I’ll be a very young seventy-five. The math doesn’t work in my favor.”
“I know, Mom. But you have to know that there is a reason why I bought the house next to yours. I want Lizzie to be part of your life. She is going to need both of us to help her keep her mom alive. And quite frankly, I can’t do this alone.
” He squeezed her hand lightly. Then he pulled back and they both drank their tea.
“So what are you going to do about Forrest?” she asked, changing the subject. “I see how happy you are with him, but if you are going to see him, then Lizzie needs to get to know him… and not as her teacher.”
Conrad felt like he had a bit of mental whiplash. “So what do I do?”
His mom shrugged. “Sometimes you men make everything too complicated. You sit down with her and ask Lizzie what she wants. Kids know their own mind, and if she is involved in the decisions, then it’s a lot easier on them, whatever those decisions are.
Besides, your daughter very much knows what she wants. ” Of that Conrad had no doubt.