Chapter 14 #3
Forrest sighed as the moment seemed to pass.
“You have to understand. I was fourteen when all my hair fell out. As soon as I hit puberty, that was it. Other boys grow up, and instead I went completely bald and stayed that way. Even my eyebrows disappeared, never to return. I was called all kinds of names, and people said things behind my back. Some of the kids even thought I shaved my head so I’d look meaner, and then they picked on me even more. I can’t change any of this.”
“I know there are drugs that are supposed to help,” Conrad held him tighter. “But don’t take them. I like you just the way you are.”
“I tried them. They made my hair start to grow in places, but the side effects were hard to deal with, and as soon as I stopped the injections, the effects stopped and I went bald again, so I gave up. It’s not worth it.”
“Good. I don’t want you endangering your health for something as stupid and unnecessary as hair.
I’d rather you just be you. That’s what I want.
And those kids who made fun of you were stupid high schoolers who don’t know their head from a hole in the ground.
You grew up sexy and that’s all there is to it.
So just stop and try to see yourself the way I see you. ”
“So you just like me for my looks,” Forrest teased, and Conrad rolled his eyes and lightly slapped Forrest’s shoulder.
“Right. Remember the first time I saw you, you scared the crap out of me. I like you for you. The hot looks are just a bonus.” He continued shaking his head. “But you know all this already. It’s nothing new.”
“Yeah… but I guess the bad stuff is a whole lot easier to believe. You have to know that. When you hear something often enough, you start to believe it, and it doesn’t matter if it’s true.
That’s why I don’t let the kids pick on each other.
Each of the boys and girls in my class deserves to grow up thinking they’re the smartest, best-looking kid there is.
The world is going to pop their bubble soon enough.
” Forrest pulled Conrad closer and slipped his arms around his waist, resting his head on his bare chest. “And then if we’re lucky, we meet someone who accepts us for who we are, flaws and all, and we start to feel better about ourselves.
But there are times when it’s still hard to believe. ”
Conrad cupped his cheeks in his hands, his eyes dark and intense. “Well then, start believing it.” He kissed him hard. “You know, you and I have the weirdest conversations in the bedroom.” The chuckle warmed Forrest’s heart.
“I agree.” Forrest tugged Conrad down onto the bed. “I think you and I need to do less talking and more—”
“Fucking?” Conrad asked.
Forrest hadn’t wanted to sound crass. “I was going to say lovemaking.”
Conrad vibrated on top of him. “Now that I like the sound of.”
Forrest slid his hands down Conrad’s back, and he groaned. That was something he really wanted to hear.
“DADDY, ARE you here?” Lizzie called as soon as she came in the door.
Forrest sat at the kitchen table with a mug of tea.
He and Conrad decided that maybe Lizzie could see that her teacher was over at her house every once in a while.
It would normalize things and maybe make him and Conrad feel less like they were hiding things.
And if he and Conrad decided to take their relationship further, then seeing him and Conrad together would feel less like a shock.
“Mr. Scoville, you’re here too.” She raced over to give him a hug, just like she did in school. “Are you keeping Daddy company?”
“Yes.” He figured it was best not to make a huge thing about it. “I have to go home in a little while, but your daddy said that you would be back soon, and I wanted to say hello before I left.”
“Okay.” She hurried away, and Forrest finished his tea and got his coat.
“I’ll see you later.” He checked the other room and then kissed Conrad good-bye before leaving the house.
Forrest went to his car and sat behind the wheel without moving for a while.
He hated this. Every time he left, he felt like he was leaving something important to him behind.
Forrest had thought that he could accept this kind of relationship, but he was finding it harder and harder to take.
Every time he left, it got harder, and the thought of months of this kind of hiding and wondering if they were going to be found out was really wearing on him.
Forrest was an honest person and he wanted to live an honest life, and yet he was sneaking around behind the back of one of his students. It just didn’t feel right to him.
The problem was that there was a solution, but one he was not willing to push.
Yes, they could shift Lizzie to the other class, but he didn’t like the idea of one of his students, or for that matter Conrad’s daughter, being the one to pay the price for the fact that he was falling in love with her daddy.
He sighed and started the engine as flakes of snow drifted down around him. The thought of months of this was difficult, but the idea of walking away was almost too hurtful to bear. So for now, things would need to stay the same. But for how long?