Chapter 11 #2
“I have a great job here. I wanted to see what I was capable of without you and mom and dad. I know you get that,” I say.
Nathan left home too, though he’s back in Boston now.
Nathan went to culinary school after he graduated high school, much to our parent’s dismay.
They sing his praises now though. He owns two high-end restaurants, Saffron & Sage, with its exquisite fusion of Mediterranean and Asian flavors, and The Embered Hearth, where the ancient technique of wood-fired cooking is celebrated.
Nathan has become something of a celebrity in the culinary world, his expertise sought after on television multiple times.
He’s currently opening his third restaurant, Verdant, which promises a farm-to-table experience that elevates vegetarian cuisine to luxurious heights. He’s a powerhouse.
“I get it. I just miss you.”
“I miss you too. You should visit once your new place is up and running. I’d love to see you.”
“The opening is on Valentine’s Day. Why don’t you come?”
“I’d love to be there.” The thought hadn’t crossed my mind, with starting at a new publishing house, and everything with Cassius, but now that Nathan’s said it, I can’t imagine not going. “Are mom and dad going to be there?”
“I could formally uninvite them and they’d still show up.”
“Funny how the two of them ended up with an editor and a chef.” We both laugh.
Dad owns a pharmaceutical company, but it wasn’t always that way.
He started out as a rep. It’s how he met our mother, she was an intern at one of the hospitals on his route.
They both worked their butts off to be where they are now, him an owner and CEO and her a surgeon.
They know about hard work, but for some reason never wanted me or Nathan to have to work hard. Maybe that’s why we both have.
“Hey now, I do quite well for myself.”
“That’s an understatement. I’m really proud of you, Nathan.”
“I’m proud of you too, sis,” Nathan says, and then I hear Cedric in the background.
“I’m proud of you too, super proud,” Cedric yells, making both me and Nathan laugh.
“Hi Cedric,” I yell back. “I miss you.”
“Miss you too,” Cedric says, sounding a lot closer to the phone now. Cedric met my brother at his first restaurant opening and they’ve been inseparable ever since. Nathan calls it love at first sight, but Cedric says Nathan’s food put a spell on him.
Cedric has carved out a successful career for himself as a Venture Capitalist, a role that seems tailor-made for someone of his talents and interests.
He has this incredible ability to see the potential in the most unlikely places, investing in startups and ventures that are as innovative as they are risky.
Cedric is more like my father than Nathan ever has been, but only when he’s on the clock.
When Cedric isn’t working, he’s loads of fun.
My father never really mastered how to do both.
“I’m actually glad you’re both there,” I start, unsure how much to divulge. “I need advice.”
“This should be good,” Nathan says. “You never ask for my advice.”
“I want a more open-minded perspective.”
“Lay it on us,” Cedric says.
“I met a man,” I say, not wanting to start with a lie.
It doesn’t seem like the best plan to receive honest advice, but there’s only so much I can say.
So much of Cassius is a mystery. “It was a freak thing, actually, I texted his number on accident thinking I was texting a coworker, but I messed up the number.”
“And he answered?” Cedric asks.
“Yeah, at first just to tell me I got the number wrong but then we kept talking.”
“So you’re wondering if you should meet him meet him? Like in person,” Nathan says.
“Kind of.” I choose my words carefully. “He’s…well, I’m not sure what he is, we haven’t gotten that far, but I know he operates outside of what we’d think of as a normal job.”
“Are you dating a criminal?” Cedric’s tone fakes shock. If he knew the things Cassius has said to me he’d be for real shocked.
“I’m not dating him,” I say. “I just don’t know if it’s wise to go any further than what’s already happened.
You guys can Google him. Cassius Ashenheart.
He owns a security company with his brothers, but it’s the lack of knowing what he actually does there along with some interestingly worded texts that has me worried. ”
“Are you afraid of him?” Nathan asks.
“No.” It’s the truest thing I’ve said this entire conversation. Cassius is scary, but he doesn’t scare me. Am I capable of being okay with him being scary to other people? Hurting people?
“Then I say go for it,” Nathan says. “You called me because you want to be impulsive, so be impulsive. Have some fun. If things go sideways or it seems like he’s into more than what you bargained for you can always stop dating him.”
It will never be that simple with Cassius, but I let my brother have the comfort of thinking it would be. I may not know him well, but I know enough to know Cassius won’t make it as easy as just breaking up with him. “Cedric?”
“I’m with Nathan. You’re clearly intrigued by him so why not explore it?”
Because it might get me killed. Because I’m pretty positive he kills people.
Because he’s intense in a way I didn’t know could exist in a real person.
The true reasons for my hesitation. I don’t fear Cassius right now but that doesn’t mean I never will.
It doesn’t mean he won’t have me around people who do scare me.
“You’re right. He’s different. There’s an intensity there, present even in just a handful of texts. I may spontaneously combust when I’m actually face-to-face with him on a regular basis.”
“Call me if you need a fire extinguisher,” Nathan says. “Or anything else. You can always call me, Melinda.”
“You can always call us,” Cedric follows.
“Thanks, you guys. I love you. I can’t wait to see you both at the opening.”
“Love you too,” They say in unison before hanging up the phone.
I may have been vague with my brother but I tried to convey Cassius’s questionable personality without saying things I have no evidence to back up.
But I also don’t want to get Cassius in trouble.
If I say too much, Nathan and Cedric will start “looking into it,” my mom will send me links about restraining orders, and suddenly Cassius is a problem to be solved instead of a man who, God help me, makes me feel safe.
He’s admitted to being a bad man, but that could mean any slew of things.
The realization lands like a stone in my stomach.
I’m okay with his version of bad, if it’s pointed at the right monsters.
I line my phone with the couch seam, inhale for five, exhale for three.
I don’t want to expose him. I want to understand him. I click on his number and hit call.
“Lindy girl,” Cassius says before the first ring finishes. “I told you to call me when you woke up, not hours later.”
“How do you know I didn’t just wake up?” I untuck my feet and scoot so that I’m lying down.
“Do you really want to know the answer to that?”
“Yes,” I say even though I’m fairly positive the answer is no.
“I have someone watching your building. I have access to your phone and can see the first time you looked at it this morning, as well as just a few moments ago, to call your brother.”
I’m dumbfounded. He’s spying on me. He is a maniac.
This is obviously a mistake. This is why impulsivity is stupid.
It always comes with regrets. “That’s um, well, wrong.
” I’m not sure what else to say and definitely sure I don’t want to get angry and risk making him angry. I’m in way, way over my head.
“It’s a matter of perspective, my darling.
” He can’t possibly know the effect that his nicknames have on me, can he?
They’re immediately disarming. “The men on the street are there to keep you safe. They’ll honor your privacy and I can guarantee that because they know if they so much as see your bra strap, I’ll scrape their eyeballs out with my fingers. ”
“And my phone?”
“Also for safety. I use the GPS feature more than anything. I rarely read your emails and texts.”
“Rarely?”
“I’m curious by nature.” He chuckles. Freaking chuckles. Like this is normal. Like I’m not mentally alphabetizing all the ways this is insane.
“If you want me to cut the feeds, Lindy, I will. I’ve done it before. I don’t want to, but I will.”
My stupid brain is less concerned with him watching me and more concerned with being able to watch him. “Would you let me track you the same way?”
“Yes. But I’d prefer not to. I trust you. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, but I go places you shouldn’t see. But if you truly want that, I’ll hand it all over.” He pauses, like he hears himself. Good. “I know how it sounds.”
“Why did you want me to call you, Cassius?” I ask instead of touching that whole location mess. He can watch. He’s been watching and, instead of craving privacy, the thought of telling him to stop makes me uneasy—like cutting a tether I didn’t know I was clinging to.
“So that I could apologize.”
“Is that why you followed me home from Mirage? To apologize?”
“No. I followed you home because you were too drunk to drive yourself and I needed to make sure you got inside safely. Your car has also been delivered to you. Your friend’s as well.”
“This is all too much.”
“What is?”
“You,” I exhale. “You are too much. With your threats, that aren’t even thinly veiled.
With your intensity. You were in my apartment.
You took my dress off. You brought my car here.
You took Victoria her car too? Why, why would you do that?
Did you tint my windows? Did I say you took my dress off?
” I take a few deep breaths. My anxiety is about to take over this conversation.