Chapter 20
Twenty
Hanna
We landed in the courtyard as the last light faded.
I shifted back to human form and regarded Jaia, sliding down from Kaelan’s back and holding her arms up; Azora dangled Vizia’s little body down and Jaia caught her, hugged her hard, as if even that brief loss of contact was too much after all these years apart.
There had been no discussion when we left. They didn’t ride with me.
Lord Mercant emerged from the main house, a kind-eyed man with silvery hair. His wife, Elara, followed. Younger than her husband by a decade. Steady. Capable.
And their children, two boys, were maybe seven and nine. Dark hair like their father. Their mother’s sharp features. They stared at us with wide eyes: at the dragons, at the strangers, at Vizia sleeping in Jaia’s arms.
“Prince Kaelan.” Lord Mercant sounded warm, but then his gaze found me and something flickered in his expression, hard to read. Uncertainty, maybe. Fear, even. “Welcome. Please come inside. We have rooms prepared.”
His wife was already moving to show us to our rooms, talking about resting before dinner, so I almost missed the look that passed between Kaelan and Dare. Kaelan had noticed the way Mercant reacted to me, too, and he wanted an answer.
“Mama, did you see them shift?” The smaller boy darted between his mother and me, his eyes wide. He walked backward, staring at me, and I felt myself smile.
“Hush, Teren,” Elara said gently. “Our guests are tired.”
The older boy—Matthis, I thought—tugged his brother back. More aware of when to stay quiet. But his eyes kept tracking me. To the shadows that still moved faintly around my feet despite my attempt to suppress them.
As if the goddess had marked me.
We were shown to rooms, but Kaelan was more worried about making sure Jaia and Azora had everything they needed than about us. He might not show his feelings well, but he made sure they had money and horses and too many weapons, until Azora laughed at him.
I moved through it all mechanically, feeling as if the world was even darker when the two of them rode away with Vizia and Finnias.
The table was set for all of us. Lord Mercant at the head, his wife to his right. The boys beside her. Kaelan was given the place of honor, and I was seated as his queen, as Kaelan expected.
“We’re grateful for the hospitality, Lord Mercant.” Kaelan’s voice was smooth and diplomatic, the prince he’d been trained to be. I always found it fascinating to see this side of him. “And for your continued support.”
“It’s an honor, Your Highness.” Lord Mercant raised his cup. “To see you again. To know the rebellion grows.”
Teren, the younger boy, leaned forward. “Are you really going to fight the king?”
“Teren!” His mother’s voice was sharp.
But Kaelan smiled. “Yes. I am.”
“Because he’s mean?”
“Because he’s cruel. And cruelty shouldn’t be allowed to rule.”
Matthis looked at me. “Is it true you can kill people with shadows?”
Well, I should probably handle this delicately. But the goddess practically beamed within me, eager to celebrate her power. “Yes. But I only hurt those who are evil.”
“How do you know someone is evil for sure?” Matthis frowned, and his mother started to warn him off.
“The boy has good questions,” Dare said, even as his hand found mine under the table. “Queen Hanna means she has magic she uses to protect people. She used it today to save a child.”
“A child?” Teren’s eyes went wide.
“Even younger than you,” Dare said. “And she was very brave, just as I know you would be. But she did need help from our queen.”
The conversation moved on, with Dare steering it away from shadow magic and into the boys’ sports, which was clearly an exciting topic for them. If it wasn’t fascinating for Dare, he gave no indication, and I felt myself smile at the way he spoke with them.
I contributed when asked, but the goddess was always eager to answer, and I worried I’d strike the wrong note.
Dare covered for me. Again and again. Filling silences. Explaining away my flat affect. Making it seem like exhaustion instead of absence.
No one questioned it. Or if they did, they were too polite to say.
But Matthis kept watching me, as if he could tell something was wrong.
After dinner, Lord Mercant let us take over his study. Kaelan, Thorne, Ekardo, and me. Thorne’s mother had retired, exhausted from the flight, and Dare had disappeared.
“We need to discuss the mental invasion,” Ekardo said bluntly. “If we’re going to protect you from your father, I need to understand exactly how it works.”
Kaelan’s jaw tightened. “I’ve explained—”
“You’ve given me pieces. I need details.” Ekardo raked long fingers through his wild hair. “How long has he been doing this? How does it feel? What triggers it?”
Kaelan’s hands curled into fists.
“Since I was a child,” he said finally, voice tight. “Since I was old enough to have thoughts he wanted access to. He’d plunder my mind for my secrets, my plans, for any little rebellion.”
“Could you resist?”
“No. Not then. I didn’t know how. Until I learned to put up resistance, he always knew things I’d never told him. He made it seem as if I betrayed my friends’ secrets, and no one saw through it until Thorne.”
Thorne’s expression was carved stone, but when I looked at him, I saw how he had been Kaelan’s first true friend, the first one to see through Edric’s cruelty and to choose Kaelan.
“And now?” Ekardo asked.
“Now he has to be close to me.” Kaelan looked at me. “We’ve been able to hide things from him. Twist memories into falsehoods before he can access them. Leave my real memories for Thorne to carry.”
I nodded. “But we can’t do that now, not when you need to command the army. If he can get into Kaelan’s mind, he can uncover everyone working with us.”
“That’s why we need to act now,” Kaelan said. “Rally the army and descend on Edric.”
“Now? When he can get into your head?” Thorne asked skeptically. “We have one chance to defeat Edric.”
“We need to sever the bond entirely. Or block it,” Ekardo said.
“Which would cut me off from everyone,” Kaelan finished. “If it’s necessary, then it’s necessary. But we lose some of our power.”
“We have plenty of power,” I reminded them all, but I was rewarded with grim looks from Thorne and Kaelan.
“We can win this war without your shadows,” Kaelan said, and the shadows we cast on the walls seemed to shiver wrathfully. Thorne eyed the shadows warily, and the goddess’s irritation with them all scratched at my chest.
“What about using bonesteel?” It wasn’t a resource that we had on the Isle, but I’d learned so much about it alongside Dare defending the mining village.
“Bonesteel is enchanted so those without magic can access powers they wouldn’t otherwise.
We should be able to forge Bonesteel into a helmet for Kaelan that can carry the enchantments to block Edric. ”
“Perhaps we could even make the enchantments so detailed that Kaelan’s not cut off from every attachment, just the ones with Kaelan.” Ekardo dove to pick up a piece of parchment—which looked as if it had been in use for Mercant’s calculations before he began to scribble on it—and went to work.
“Maybe we can make it look like a crown so no one has to know about his weakness,” Thorne said, and Kaelan cut his gaze sharply toward Thorne, but there was no denying the truth.
If our allies knew Edric could get into Kaelan’s mind, they would never follow him. This would be over before it could begin.
“This might work,” Ekardo admitted. “But I’m going to need bonesteel with which to experiment.”
“We’ll get it for you,” Kaelan promised.
The door opened. Dare entered, casting off his cloak and throwing it onto the back of one chair before he sank into another before the fire.
“Things went that well?” Thorne asked mildly as Dare sprawled down in the chair like a teenager sulking.
“We have a problem. Rumors are spreading about Hanna.” Dare’s troubled green eyes found mine. “Edric’s been spreading stories about what happened at the prison.”
Those must be the rumors that had even reached the Mercants.
“What are they saying?” Thorne asked.
“That she’s dangerous. That she killed hundreds without hesitation. That shadow magic is corrupting her.” Dare’s voice was careful. “Edric’s people are twisting the truth. Making it sound like Kaelan’s being controlled by a woman with dark power. That he’ll blindly sacrifice the kingdom for her.”
“They’re trying to make her into a monster,” Kaelan said.
“Then they will find they have a monster they cannot handle.” The goddess sounded delighted. “As their rumors spread, do you know the prayers are too? Edric is a monster. Many people will find hope in the idea of a monster of their own.”
“Will it work?” Thorne demanded, and for a moment, I’d lost the thread of our conversation, distracted by the goddess.
“It might.” Dare scrubbed his face with his hands as if he were exhausted. “People are afraid. They’ve heard stories about shadow magic. About what it can do. And Hanna—” He stopped. “You’re not hiding it well anymore. The way you move. The way you speak. People can tell something’s wrong.”
“I saved that child,” I said.
“That child?” Thorne demanded.
“Vizia,” I corrected, since the name meant so much to him.
If people feared me, so be it. Edric could make me into a monster and then find me waiting for him in the darkness. I yawned. “I’m going to bed. If you need me to do something to prove I’m not a monster—or if you need the monster, because we all know we will again—please let me know.”
“I’ll join you in a few moments,” Dare said.
“Certainly.” I waved a flippant goodbye to them all. “Talk about me in peace.”
I left the room, knowing they’d rescued Ekardo for my sake as much as for Kaelan’s.
Dare followed me, sooner than he should have, as if he couldn’t wait. I’d just undressed for bed and was brushing the tangles out of my hair. He closed the door to the bedroom we’d all decided to share, without commentary, even though we’d been politely shown four separate rooms.
“What’s going on, Hanna?” he asked.
Part of me wanted to acknowledge how he had covered for me all evening. But my pride won out. “Nothing.”
His lips curled up at the edges, and he took my hairbrush out of my hands. “Turn around.”
I rolled my eyes and turned to the mirror, watching our reflections as he began to brush out my hair. He towered over me, still dressed in his leather trousers and tunic because we hadn’t brought formal clothes; I’d stripped down to my lace-trimmed shorts and top.
He was gentler with the tangles than I would have been; I always grew too impatient. He looked handsome in our shared reflection, his tousled hair falling into his eyes. Most of all, he looked unguarded when he was taking care of me, and something tight in my chest loosened.
“You all think I’m unraveling.” I chewed my lower lip. “Kaelan and me both. But I’m not weak. I’m powerful enough to save us all.”
“Kaelan’s not weak either,” he said. “He just needs our help.”
“I didn’t say he was.”
“Hanna.” His tone was amused, but still firm, and his gaze met mine in the mirror. “It’s just the two of us. We don’t have to hide the nasty parts of ourselves from each other. Aren’t we beyond that? You know all my secrets.”
I shrugged, but he was right. “I won’t apologize for being able to win this war.”
“And if you burn away, burning so bright?” He set the brush down and began to braid my hair, his fingers teasing against my scalp, sending little bright bursts of desire through my body as he tugged gently.
“Isn’t it worth it, to save our kingdom?”
His face went tight. “Not to me.”
“But this is war. One life doesn’t matter.”
He scoffed. “A thousand lives don’t matter, in the scheme of things. But your life is everything to me.” He tied the braid at the end, then turned me to face him. He still held the braid in his hand, stroking his thumb over it. “What does the goddess want?”
“To replace me.” I was sure of that, and it should terrify me, but I didn’t feel afraid now. And it felt good not to be afraid. “To be me. Perhaps after a while, you won’t notice, won’t miss me.”
His brows arched. “I can forgive you many things, Hanna, but keep talking like that, and I might take a page from Kaelan’s book.”
I laughed, and while I was laughing, his lips met mine. The world narrowed to just his mouth against mine as I slid my arm around his shoulders, our bodies fitting together as if they were made to fit this way.
He kissed me until I was breathless, and then abruptly, he gripped my hips and spun me back toward the vanity.
His hand spanned my lower back, pushing me forward until my palms met the tabletop.
“You are the one we need,” Dare told me. “If you don’t care to keep this body of yours, to fight her for it, then fight her for our sake. Because you’re mine. Not hers.”
“Dare—”
His hand slapped against my ass, and I jolted in shock.
“Promise me,” he commanded.
My eyes met his in the mirror, and there wasn’t a trace of the goddess left in me when I said, “Make me.”
He laughed, a deep, eager laugh, as if he knew now that it was just him and me. “Gods, I was hoping you’d say that.”
His hand descended on my ass again, another sharp, stinging smack that sent blood rushing to my clit as if he were touching it.
His head bowed over my shoulder, kissing me tenderly.
He slid one hand between my thighs, stroking through my lips, and I let out a moan.
His mouth was as tender as his hands were hard.
Then his hand hardened between my thighs, pulling my ass back, getting me into position for another series of smacks.
The door opened, and Kaelan stood in the doorway. “What are you doing?”
“Reminding her she belongs to us, not the Shadow Weaver,” Dare said. “Would you like to help?”