Chapter 51
Elva
Njall and Baldr stayed on the road, talking, while I followed Sindri and Leifur toward the old hunting cabin that rested on the lands Baldr had secured for us.
It wasn’t part of the kingdom, so we wouldn't be under the king's watchful eye all the time, yet it was close enough to the city, forest, and sea to offer comfort and the means to earn a living. The excitement on my brothers’ faces was worth every moment we struggled to get here.
We walked along the overgrown path that ran alongside the rickety cottage.
We’d need a lot of wood to fix it up, but we had the gold Baldr had paid us and all the time in the world to make it perfect.
Sindri inspected the weed-infested garden, while Leifur kicked at the crumbling fence, causing a log to tumble loose.
“Careful,” Baldr said. “No need to hurt yourself.”
Sindri snickered. “My husband is a blacksmith. A little fence won’t hurt him.”
“A blacksmith?” Baldr said teasingly. Though he knew Leifur’s trade well—having introduced him to nobles at the ball—Leifur’s cheeks flushed slightly, clearly enjoying the satyr’s attention.
“Did you see the small building south of here?” Baldr asked, pointing. “It was once a workshop. I bet you could expand the fireplace and turn it into a proper forge.”
“Where?” Leifur asked, turning to find it.
“I’ll show you,” Baldr offered. “I used to hide from Ingvar in there when we played as boys. The burned wood threw off his sense of smell.” He led my brothers away, leaving me alone with Njall.
I was bent over the garden pulling out weeds and examining some peculiar-looking plants.
“Find anything interesting?” he asked, appearing behind me, pushing my hair aside and brushing a kiss on my neck.
“I did,” I replied and held up a strange plant with a green stem and a thick blue root. He sniffed it and recoiled, dropping it quickly.
“Not a carrot,” he said, holding back a gag from the putrid stench.
I stood, wiping my dirt-covered hands on my pants. The sun behind us made his green eyes sparkle like emeralds, and my heart skipped a beat. Every time I looked at him, I saw more selkie.
“I don’t know what you did to get us this land, but I can never repay you.” I stood on my tiptoes, offering a kiss. It wasn’t needy like the ones I would give when our bodies were entangled, but it was soft and loving.
He stepped back, looking nervous.
Glancing back at the setting sun and our new home, I knew I had to be brave. “Njall … I have something I need to tell you.”
“Elva ...” He moved back, rubbing his neck. I could see a bead of sweat forming on his brow.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I have to go,” he blurted.
My cheeks warmed. He must know what I was going to say. “Why? Did I say something?”
“No. I just mean. Gah.” He threw up his arms in frustration. “Baldr and I are being sent to the front lines.”
“Military service? I thought you did that already.”
“Not according to our father.”
“Was that the price?” I asked softly, as my fingers tried to tie themselves into knots. “The price for letting us go that day, and for forcing his hand with the land?”
Njall simply nodded.
“How long?”
“Two years.”
I looked down at the ground and sighed. I didn’t want to hurt him or make this harder for him than it already was.
After weeks of wrestling with my feelings, I’d finally admitted to myself that this wasn’t just about physical desire.
I didn’t just want him; I loved him, but now I’d have to wait to tell him.
It wouldn’t be fair to confess that and then send him away, knowing I’d have to bed other men while he was gone.
“Don’t blame yourself,” he said, taking my hands and pulling me closer. “We chose to free you, and I have never been more sure of a decision in all my life. And as for the land? He’s not mad about the land, he’s mad that Baldr embarrassed him in front of the Lords to get it.”
“When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow.”
His face looked pained, and as badly as I wanted to cry and scream about how unfair it was, I knew that would only add to his burden. “That soon?”
“He doesn’t want me to get too comfortable,” Njall said bitterly. “Months rotting in an enemy dungeon followed by months of traveling home wasn’t enough.”
“I’m sorry, Njall. I know that isn't the homecoming you hoped for.”
“True, but my father is who he is, and I shall obey.”
I stepped closer, tracing my fingers along my biceps. “Will I get to see you at all before you leave?”
“Of course,” he said, a determined glint in his eye. “I intend to leave you with a night you’ll never forget.”